| MISCELLANIES. 


THE 
— LAST VOLUME. 


LONDON: 


Printed for Benjamin MoTTE, at 
the Midale-Temple Gate in Fleetſtreet, 
MDCCXX VIII. 


PREFACE. 


T HE Papers that compoſe 
the firſt of theſe Volumes 
were printed about ſix- 
teen Years ago, to which there are 
now added two or three ſmall] 
Tracts; and the Verſes are tranſ- 
ferred into this Volume apart. 
Having both of us been ex- 
treamly ill treated by ſome Book- 
ſellers (eſpecially one Edmund Curll) 
it was our Opinion that the beſt 
Method we could take for juſtifying 
ourſelves, would be to publiſh 
whatever looſe Papers in Proſe 
and Verſe, we have formerly writ- 


A 2 ten 


(iv) 
ten; not only ſuch as have already 
ſtolen into the World (very much 
to our Regret, and perhaps very 
little to our Credit, ) but ſuch as 
in any Probability hereafter may 
run the ſame Fate, having been 
obtained from us by the Importu- 
nity, and divulged by the Indiſ- 
cretion of Friends, although re- 
ſtrain'd by Promiſes, which few of 
them are ever known to obſerve, 
and often think they make us a 
Compliment in breaking. 
But the Conſequences have 

been ſtill worſe: We have been 
entitled, and have had our Names 
prefixed at length, to whole Vo- 
lumes of mean Productions, equal- 
ly offenſive to good Manners and 
good Senſe, which we never ſaw 
or heard of till they appeared in 
Print. 

For 


(v) 

For a Forgery, in ſetting a falſe 
Name to a Writing, which may pre- 
judice another's Fortune, the Law 
puniſhes the Offender with the Loſs 
of his Ears; but has inflicted no 
adequate Penalty for ſuch as Preju- 
dice another's Reputation, in doing 
the ſame thing in Print ; though 
all and every individual Book fo 


fold under a falſe Name, are mani- 
feſtly ſo many ſeveral and mul- 
tiplied Forgeries. 

Indeed we hope, that the good 
Nature, or at leaſt the good Judg- 
ment of the World, would have 
cleared us from the Imputation of 
ſuch Things as had been thus charg- 
ed upon us, by the Malice of Ene- 
mies, the Want of Judgment in 
Friends, the Unconcern of indiffe- 
rent Perſons, and the confident Aſ- 
ſertions of Bookſellers. 


A3 We 


(vi) 

We are aſhamed to find ſo ill a 
Taſte prevail, as to make it a ne- 
ceſſary Work to do this Juſtice 
our ſelves. It is very poſſible for 
any Author to write below him- 
ſelf; either his Subject not pro- 
ving ſo fruitful, or ſo fitted for 
him, as he at firſt imagined; or 
his Health, or his Humour, or 
the preſent Diſpoſition of his 
Mind, unqualifying him at that 
Juncture: However if he poſſeſ- 
ſed any diſtinguiſhing Marks of 
Style, or Peculiarity of Thinking, 
there would remain 1n his leaſt ſuc- 
ceſoful Writings, ſome few Tokens, 
whereby Perſons of Taſte might 
diſcover him. 

But ſince it hath otherwiſe fal- 
len out, we think we have ſufh- 
ciently paid for our Want of Pru- 
dence, and determine for the future 


to 


(vü) 

to be leſs communicative: Or ra- 
ther having done with ſuch Amuſe- 
ments, we are reſolved to give up 
what we cannot fairly diſown, to 
the Severity of Criticks, the Ma- 
lice of perſonal Enemies, and the 
Indulgence of Friends. 

We are ſorry for the Satire in- 
terſperſed in ſome of theſe Pieces, 
upon a few People, from whom 
the higheſt Provocations have been 
received, and who by their Conduct 
ſince have ſhewn that they have 
not yet forgiven us the Wrong 
They did. It is a very unlucky 
Circumſtance, to be obliged to re- 
taliate the Injuries of ſuch Authors, 
whoſe Works are ſo ſoon forgot- 
ten, that we are in danger already 
of appearing the firſt Aggreſſors. 
It is to be lamented, that Yzrgl 
let paſs a Line, which told Poſteri- 


A 4 ty 


—— — — —— — — 
— 
, »ůã»»g . ˙ oo 

n 


(vii) 


ty he had two Enemies called Ba- 
vius and Miævius. The wiſeſt Way 
is not once to name them, but (as 
the Madman adviſed the Gentle- 
man, who told him he wore a Sword 
to kill his Enemies) to ler them 
alone, and they will dre of themſelves. 
And according to this Rule we have 
acted throughout all thoſe Writings 
which we deſigned for the Preſs: 
But in theſe, the Publication where- 
of was not owing to our Folly but 
that of others, the Omiſſion of the 
Names was not in our Power. At 
the worſt, we can only give them 
that Liberty now for ſomething, 
which they have ſo many Years ex- 
erciſed for nothing, of railing and 
ſcribbling againſt us. And tis ſome 


Commendation, that we have not 


done it all this while, but avoided 
publickly to characteriſe any Perſon 


4 without 


(iX) 

without long Experience. Nonum 
prematur in Aumum, is a good Rule 
for all Writers, but chiefly for Wri- 
ters of Characters; becauſe it may 
happen to thoſe who vent Praiſe or 
Cenſure too precipitately, as it did 
to an eminent Eugliſb Poet, who 
celebrated a young Nobleman for 
erecting Dryden's Monument, upon 
a Promiſe which his Lordſhip forgot, 
till it was done by another. 

In regard to two Perſons only, 
we with our Raillery, though ever 
ſo tender, or Reſentment, though 
ever ſo juſt, had not been indulged. 
We ſpeak of Sir John Lanbrugh, 
who was a Man of Wit, and of 
Honour; and of Mr. Add;/on, whoſe 
Name deſerves all Reſpe&t from 
every Lover of Learning. 

We cannot deny (and perhaps 

moſt Writers of our kind have 
been 


(xX) 

been in the fame Circumſtances) 
that in ſeveral Parts of our Lives, 
and according to the Diſpoſitions 
we were in, we have written ſome 
Things which we may wiſh never 
to have thought on. Some Sallies 
of Levity ought to be imputed to 
Vouth, (ſuppoſed in Charity, as it 
was in Truth, to be the Time in 
which we wrote them;) Others to 

the Gaiety of our Minds at certain 
Junctures, common to all Men. 
The publiſhing of theſe, which we 
cannot quite difown, and without 
our Conſent, is I think, a greater 
Injury, than that of aſcribing to us 
the moſt ſtupid Productions which 
we can wholly deny. 

This has been uſually practiſed in 
other Countries, after a Man's De- 
ceaſe; which in a great Meaſure 
accounts for that maniteſt Inequa- 
lity found in the Works of the beſt 
Authors; 


(xt) 

Authors; the Collectors only conſi- 
dering, that ſo many more Sheets 
raiſe the Price of the Book; and the 
greater Fame a Writer is in poſſeſſion 
of, the more of ſuch Traſh he may 
bear to have tacked to him. Thus 
it is apparently the Editor's Intereſt 
to inſert, what the Author's Judg- 
ment had rejected; and Care is al- 
ways taken to interſperſe theſe Ad- 
ditions in ſuch a manner, that ſcarce 
any Book of Conſequence can be 
bought, without purchaſing ſome- 
thing unworthy of the Author a- 
long with it. 

But in our own Countryit is ſtill 
worſe: Thoſe very Bookſellers who 
have ſupported themſelves upon an 
Author's Fame while he lived, have 
done their utmoſt after his Death to 
leſſen it by fuch Practices: Eren a 
Man's laſt Mill is not ſecure rom 


I being 


(xi) 

being expoſed in Print; whereby 
even his dying Tgndernefles are 
laid open. It has been humour- 
oufly faid, that ſome have fiſhed 
the very Jakes, for Papers left 
there by Men of Wit: But it is no 
Feſt to affirm, that the Cabinets of 
the Sick, and the Cloſets of the 
Dead, have been broke open and 
ranſacked, to publiſh our private 
- Letters, and divulge to all Mankind 
the moſt ſecret Sentiments and In- 
tercourſe of Friendſhip. Nay, theſe 
Fellows are arrived to that Height 
of Impudence, as when an Author 
has puolickly diſowned a ſpurious 
Piece, they have diſputed his own 
Name with him in printed Adver- 
tiſements, which has been practis d 

to Mr. Congreve, and Mr. Prior. 
Ve are therefore compell'd, in 
reſpect 


(xi) 

reſpect to Truth, to ſubmit to 2 
very great Hardſhip; to own ſuch 
Pieces as in our ſtricter Judgment 
we would have ſuppreſſed for ever: 
We are obliged to confeſs, that 
this whole Collection, in a manner, 
conſiſts of what we not only thought 
unlikely to reach the future, but 
unworthy even of the preſent Age; 
not our Studies, but our Follies ; 

not our Works, but our Idleneſſes. 
Some Comfort however it is, 
that all of them are Innocent, 
and moſt of them, ſlight as they 
are, had yet a moral Tendency ; 
either to ſoften the Virulence of 
Parties againſt each other; or to 
laugh out of Countenance ſome 
Vice or Folly of the Time; or to 
diſcredit the Impoſitions of Quacks 
and falſe Pretenders to Science; or 
to humble the Arrogance of the 
ill- 


—_——_ C Ye\e A ⁰·W mm W w 9 "IIS os — 


(xiv) 

ill- natured and envious: In a word, 
to leſſen the Vanity, and promote 
the good Humour of Mankind. 

Such as they are, we muſt in 
truth confeſs they are Ours, and 
others ſhould in juſtice believe 
they are All that are Ours. If any 
thing elſe has been printed in 
which we really had any Hand, 
it is either intolerably imperteR, 
or loaded with ſpurious Additi- 
ons; ſometimes even with In- 
ſertions of Mens Names, which 
we never meant, and for whom 
we have an Eſteem and Reſpect. 
Even thoſe Pieces in which we 
are leaſt injured, have never be- 
fore been printed from the true 
Copies, or with any tolerable De- 
gree of Correctneſs. We declare, 
that this Collection contains every 


Piece, which in the idleſt Humour 


we 


(xv) 
we have written; not only ſuch as 
came under our Review or Cor- 
rection; but many others, which 
however unfiniſhed, are not now 
in our power to ſuppreſs. What- 
ſoever was in our own Poſſeſſion at 


the Publiſhing hereof, or of which 


no Copy was gone abroad, we have 


actually deſtroy d, to prevent all 
Poſſibility of the like Treatment. 
Theſe Volumes likewiſe will 
contain all the Papers wherein we 
have caſually had any Share; par- 


ticularly thoſe writ in conjunction 


with our Friends, Dr. Arbuthnot 


and Mr. Gay; and laſtly, all of 


this ſort compoſed fingly by 
either of thoſe Hands. The 
Reader is therefore deſired to do 
the fame Juſtice to theſe our 
Friends, as to Us; and to be afſu- 
red that all the Things called our 

Miſcellanies 


(xvi) 
Mſcellanies (except the Works of 
Alexander Pope, publiſhed by B. 
Lintott, in Quarto, and Folio, in 
1717; thoſe of Mr. Gay, by J. Ton- 
ſon, in Quarto, in 1720; and as 
many of theſe Miſcellanies as have 
been formerly printed by Benj. 
Tooke, are abſolutely ſpurious, and 


without our Conſent impoſed upon 
the Publick. 


Maze, JONATH. SWIFT. 
ALkx. Pore. 


P. 8. We could not reſiſt the Op- 
portunity of improving this Collecti- 
on with two or three Pieces on pa- 
rallel Subjefts, written by Perſons of 
great Diſtinction, our particular 
Friends, for which the Publick ought 
to thank us, and with which it was 
in the Power of none but our ſelves 
to have obliged them. 


THE 


ADVERTISEMENT 


TO THE 


RE AD E K. 


HAT has been ſaid in the Preface to 

the firſt Volume in relation to theſe 
Miſcellanies in general, we think fit to re- 
peat here of the Verſes in particular, That 
all which we have written of this kind are 
contain'd in it; and that all others, printed in 


our Names, are Impoſitions both on us and 
on the Publick. 


JoNATH. SWIFT. 
ALEx. Pork. 


IIEPI BAOOYZE: 


O R, 


Martinus Scriblerus 
13 


IREATISE 


OF ITHE 


ART Of SINKING 
I N 


. 


IIEPI BAOOY >: 


OF THE 


Art of SINKING 


POET RV. 


CHAP. I. 
RP T hath been long (my t dear 


PO SS . 


Countrymen ) the Subject 
of my Concern and Sur- 
prize, that whereas num- 
——= berleſs Poets, Criticks and 
Orators have compiled and digeſted 
the Art of Ancient Poeſie, there hath not 
arifen among us one Perſon fo publick 
ſpirited, as to perform the like for the 
Modern. Altho it is univerſally known, 


. 


+ Martiuus Scriclerus, tho' of German Extraction, was 
worn in Exgland. Vid. his Lit and Memoirs, which wil! 
perdily Le pul Lſtid. 

B th at 


iy 


Of the Art of SinxiNG 


M 
that our every-way-induſtrious Mo- 
derns, both in the Weight of their 
Writings, and in the Velocity of their 
Judgment, do fo infinitely excel the 
ſaid Ancients. 122 
NEVERTHEIE SS, too true it is, 
that while a plain and direct Road is 
pavd to their #4, or ſublime; no 
Track has been yet chalk'd out, to arrive 
at our B49, or profund. The Latins, 
as they came between the Greeks and Us, 
make uſe of the Word Altitudo, which 
implies equally Height and Depth. 
Wherefore conſidering with no ſmall 
Grief, how many promiſing Genius's of 
this Age are wandering (as I may ſay) 
in the dark without a Guide, I have 
undertaken this arduous but neceſſary 
Task, to lead them as it were by the 
hand, and ſtep by ſtep, the gentle down- 
hill way to the Bathos; the Bottom, 
the End, the Central Point, the uon 
plus ultra of true Modern Poeſie 
Wurx I conſider (my dear Coun- 
trymen ) the Extent, Fertility, and 
Populouſneſs of our Lowlands of Par- 
ntſſus, the flouriſhing State of our 
Trade, and the Plenty of our Manu- 
facture; there are two Reflections Wn 
ad- 


— — 
* 


in PoE TRT. 


7 


adminiſter great Occaſion of Surprize; 
the one, that all Dignities and Honours 
ſhould be beſtow'd upon the exceeding 
few meager Inhabitants of the Top of 
the Mountain; the other, that our 
own Nation ſhould have arriv'd to that 
Pitch of Greatneſs it now poſleſles, 
without any regular Syſtem of Laws. 
As to the firſt, it is with great Pleaſure 
I have obſerv'd of late the gradual De- 
cay of Delicacy and Refinement among 
Mankind, who are become tooreaſonable 
to require that weſhould labour with in- 
finite Pains to come up to the Taſte of 
thoſe Mountaineers, when they without 
any, may condeſcend to ours. But as 
we have now an anqueſtionable Ma- 
jority on our fide, I doubt not but we 
ſhall ſhortly be able to level the High- 
landers, and procure a farther Vent 


for our own Product, which is al- 


ready ſo much reliſhd, enconrag'd, 
and rewarded, by the Nobility and 

Gentry of Great Britain. 
THEREFORE to ſupply our former 
Defect, IJ purpoſe to collect the ſcatter d 
Rules of our Art into regular Inſti- 
tutes, from the Example and Practice 
of the deep Genius's of our Nation; 
B 4 imi- 


— 


— 


8 Of the Art of SINKING 


imitating herein my Predeceſſors, the 
Maſter of Alexander, and the Secretary 
of the renown'd Zenobia : And in this 
my Undertaking I am the more ani- 
mated, as I expect more Succeſs than 
has attended even thoſe great Criticks, 
ſince their Laws (tho' they might be 
good) have ever been ſlackly executed, 
and their Precepts (however ftri& ) 
obeyd only by Fits, and by a very 
{mall Number. 

Ar the ſame time I intend to do 
juſtice upon our Neighbours, Inhabitants 
of the upper Parnaſſus ; who taking 
advantage of the riſing Ground, are 
perpetually throwing down Rubbiſh, 
Dirt, and Stones upon us, never ſuffe- 
ring us to live in Peace: Theſe Men, 
while they enjoy the Chryſtal Stream 
of Helicon, envy us our common Water, 
which (thank our Stars) tho it is ſome- 
what muddy, flows in much greater 
abundance. Nor is this the greateſt 
injuſtice we have to complain of; 
for tho' it is evident that we never 
made the leaſt Attempt or Inrode into 
their Territories, but lived contented 
in our Native Fens; they have of- 
ten, not only committed Petty Lar- 

Cenys 


in POETRY. 


Gr — 


cenys upon our Borders, but driven the 
Country, and carried off at once zwho/e 
Ca- los of our Ma: ufacture; to 
reclaim ſome of which ſtolen Goods 
is part of the D-iiga of this Treatiſe, 

For we ſhall : in the courſe of 
this Work, that our greateſ Adverſa- 
ries have ſometimes deſcended towards 
us ; and doubtleſs might now and then 
have arrived at the Zazhos itſelf, had 
it not been for that miitaken Opinion 
they all entertained, that the Rules of 
the Autients were egually neceſſary to 
the Moder:;s, than which there cannot 
be a more grievous Error, as will tc 
amply proved in the following Diſ- 
courſe. 

AN p indeed when any of theſe have 
gone ſo far, as by the light of their own 
Genius to attempt upon nezw Models, it 
is wonderful to obſerve, how nearly 
they have approach'd Us in thoſe parti- 
cular Pieces; tho' in all their others 
they differ d toto calo from us. 


C.H: AP. 


10 


/ 


Of the Art of SN. | 


CHAP IL 


That the Bathos, or Profund, ic the 
natural Taſte of Man, and in par- 
ticular, of the preſent Age. 


HE Taſte of the Bathos is im- 
planted by Nature itſelf in the 
Soul of Man; till perverted by Cu- 
ſtom or Example he is taught, or ra- 
ther compell d, to reliſh the Sublime. 
Accordingly, we ſee the unprejudiced 
Minds of Children delight only in ſuch 
Productions, and in ſuch Images, as our 
true modern Writers ſet before them. 
I have obſervd how faſt the general 
Taſte is returning to this firſt Sim- 
plicity and Innocence; and if the 
Intent of all Poetry be to divert 
and inſtru, certainly that Kind which 
diverts and inſtructs the greateſt Num- 
ber, is to be preferrd. Let us look 
round among the Admirers of Poetry, 
we ſtall find thoſe who have a Taſte of 
the Sublime to be very few, but the 
Profund ſtrikes univerſally, and is adap- 
ted to every Capacity. Tis a fruitleſs 

Under- 


— OO 


in POETRY. 


11 


Undertaking to write for Men of a nice 
and foppiſh G'r:ffo, whom, after all, it 
is almoſt impoſſible to pleaſe; and 'tis 
ſtill more Chimerical to write for Po- 
fterity, of whoſe Taſte we cannot make 
any Judgment, and whoſe Applauſe we 
can never enjoy. It muſt be confeſs d, 
our wiſer Authors have a preſent End, 


Et prodeſſe volunt, & delectare Poetæ. 


Their true Deſign is Profit or Gain; 
in order to acquire which, 'tis neceſlary 
to procure Applauſe, by adminiſtring 
Pleaſure to the Reader : From whence 
it follows demonſtrably, that their Pro- 
ductions muſt be ſuited to the preſent 
Taſte; and I cannot but congratulate 
our Age on this peculiar Felicity, that 
tho' we have made indeed great Pro- 
greſs in all other Branches of Luxury, 
we are not yet debauch'd with any high 
reliſh in Poetry, but are in this one 
Taſte, lefs nice than our Anceſtors. If 
an Art 1s to be eſtimated by its Succeſs, 
I appeal to Experience, whether there 


have not been, in proportion to their 


Number, as many ſtarving good Poets, 
as bad ones 2 


NEvE R- 


— ” —— woo=—__ — — 


12 


mn 


Of the Art of SinxING 


NEVERTHELESS, in making Gain 
the principal End of our Art, far be it 
from me to exclude any great Genius s of 
Rank or Fortune from diverting them- 
ſelves this way. 'They ought to be prai- 
ſed no leſs than thoſe Princes, who paſs 
their vacant Hours in ſome ingenious 
Mechanical or Manual Art: And to 
ſuch as theſe, it would be Ingratitude not 
to own, that our Art has been often in- 
finitely indebted. 


— 


HA. II. 
The Neceſſity of the Bathos, Phyſically 


conſider d. 

1 it were great Cruelty 
and In juſtice, if all ſuch Authors 

as cannot write in the other Way, 
were prohibited from writing at all. 
Againſt this, I draw an Argument from 
what ſeems to me an undoubted Phylical 
Maxim, That Poetry is a natural or 
morbid Secretion from the Brain. As 1 
would not ſuddenly ſtop a Cold in the 
Head, or dry up my Neighbour's Iſſue, 
I would as little hinder him from 
neceſſary Writing. It may be af- 
frm d 


ww C_ 


in POETRY. 


firm'd with great truth, that there 
is hardly any human Creature paſt 
Childhood, but at one time or other 
has had ſome Poetical Evacuation, and 
no queſtion was much the better for it 
in his Health; fo true is the Saying, 
Naſcimur Poets: Therefore is the De- 
lire of Writing properly term'd Pruri- 
tus, the Titillation of the Generative 
Faculty of the Brain; and the Perſon 
is ſaid to conceive; Now ſuch as con- 
ceive mult bring forth. I have known 
a Man thoughtful, melancholy, and 
raving for divers days, but forthwith 
grow wonderfully eaſy, lightſome and 
cheerful, upon a Diſcharge of the 
peccant Humour, in exceeding purulent 
Metre. Nor can I queſtion, but abun- 
dance of untimely Deaths are occaſion d 
by want of this laudable Vent of un- 
ruly Paſſions; yea, perhaps, in poor 
Wretches, (which is very lamentable) 
for meer Want of Pen, Ink, and Pa- 
per! From hence it follows, that a 
Su ppreſſion of the very worſt Poetry is 

of dangerous conſequence to the State: 
We find by Experience, that the ſame 
Humours which vent themſelves in Sum- 
mer in Pallads and Sonnets. are con- 


dens d 


— 
— — — — — ea — — HK— 


14 Of the Art of Sm 


dens'd by the Winter's Cold into Pam- 
phlets and Speeches for and againſt 
the Miniftry: Nay I know not, but 
many times a Piece of Poetry may be the 
moſt innocent Compoſition of a Mini- 


ter himſelf. 


It is therefore manifeſt that Medio- 
crity ought to be allow'd, yea indulg d, 
to the good Subjects of England. Nor 
can I conceive how the World has ſwal- 
low'd the contrary as a Maxim, upon 
the ſingle Authority of that Horace? 
Why ſhould the Gelen Mean, and 
Quinteſſence of all Virtues, be deem'd 
ſo offenſive only in this Art? Or 
Coolneſ or Mediocrity be fo ami- 
able a Qrality in a Man, and ſo deteſt- 
able in a Poct - 

Howzrves, far be it from me to 
compare theſe Writers with thoſe Great 
Spirits, who are born with a Vicacite 
de pelnitenr, or (as an Exaliſb Author 
call, it) an Hacrity of filing; and 
wio by Hengtö of Nature alone can 
exccll. All I mean is to evince the 
Necefhit; of Rules to theſe leſſer Ge- 


— e—.. 


— — — — — 


* . 4 *; * Fg Sad + > 
— ac: c? tus 
c Ait, aun PINURES, &. Hor. 


— 


— 
- 


in PoE TRT. 


— ICT 


15 


2 as well as the Uſefulneſs of them 
to the Greater. 


22 


C-H A P. N. 


That there is an Art of the Bathos, or 
Profund. 


E come now to prove, that 
there is an Art of Sinking in 
Poetry. Is there not an Architecture 
of Vaults and Cellars, as well as of lofty 
Domes and Pyramids? Is there not as 
much Skill and Labour in making of 
Dykes, as in raiſing of Mounts? Is there 
not an Art of Diving as well as of Fly- 
ing > And will any ſober Practitioner 
affirm, That a diving Engine is not of 
{ſingular Uſe in making him long-winded, 
aſhſting his Sight, and furniſhing him 
with other ingenious means of keeping 
under Water? 

Ix we ſearch the Authors of Anti- 
quity, we ſhall find as few to have been 
diſtinguiſh'd in the true Profund, as in 
the true Sublime. And the very ſame 
thing (as it appears from Longinus) 
had been imagin'd of that, as now of 
this; namely, that it was entirely 2 


16 Of the Art of SinxinG | 


> _— — Q 


Gift of Nature. I grant, that to excel 
in the Bathos a Genius is requiſite ; 
yet the Rules of Art muſt be allow'd ſo 
tar uſeful, as to add Weight, or as I 
may ſay, hang on Lead, to facilitate 
and enforce our Deſcent, to guide us to 
the moſt advantageous Declivities, and 
habituate our Imagination to a Depth 
of thinking. Many there are that can 
fall, but few can arrive at the Felicity 
of falling gracefully; much more for a 
an who is amongſt the loweſt of the 
Creation at the very bottom of the At- 
moſphere, to deſcend beneath himſelf, 
is not ſo caſy a Task unleſs he calls in 
Art to his Aſſiſtance. It is with the 
Nat bos as with ſmall Beer, which is 
indeed vapid and inſipid, if left at large 
and let abroad; but being by our Rules 
confin'd, and well ſtopt, nothing grows 
ſo frothy, pert and bouncing. 

ins Sublime of Nature is the Sky, 
tie Sun, Moon, Stars, Gc. The 
refund of Nature is Gold, Pearls, 
precious Stones, and the 'Treaſures of 
the Deep, which are ineſtimable as un- 
known. But all that lies between theſe, 
as Corn, Flowers, Fruits, Animals, and 
Things for the meer Uſe of Man, are of 


mean 


9 
| 8 2 65 


7 Py 


* 


mean price, and ſo common as not to be 
greatly eſteem d by the Curious: It being 
certain, that any thing, of which we 


know the true Uſe, cannot be Invalu- 


able: Which affords a Solution, why 
common Senſe hath either been totally deſ- 
pis d, or held in ſmall Repute, by the 
greateſt modern Criticks and Authors. 


1 


— 


CHAP: v. 

Of the true Genius for the Profund, 
and by what it is conſtituted. 

\ ND will venture to lay it down, 

as the firſt Maxim and Corner- 

Stone of this our Art, That whoever 

would excel therein muſt ſtudiouſly 

avoid, deteſt, and turn his Head from all 

the Ideas, Ways, and Workings of that 


peſtilent Foe to Wit and Deſtroyer of 


fine Figures, which is known by the 
Name of Common Senſe. His Buſineſs 
muſt be to contract the true Gout de 
travers; and to acquire a moſt happy, 
uncommon, unaccountable May of Think- 

ing. 
wy E is to conſider himſelf as a Exo- 
teſque Painter, whoſe Works would be 
C ſpoil'd 


18 : I the Art f 1 


id by an Imitation of Nature, or 
— Ao Defign. He is to mingle 


Bits of the moſt various, = 


kinds, Landſcape, Hiſtory, Portraits, 
Animals, and èonnect them with a m_ 
deal of Ait fs 7 Heads or 

as it ſhall pleaſe Imagination, and 


contribute fo ls End, which is 


* — by ſtrong Oppolitions of Colours, 
ſurprize by Contrariety of Images. 
Serpentes avibus geminentur, tigribus ag. 
His Deſign ought to be like a Laby- 
rinth, ur of with no body can get 
you 2 but himſelf And ſince the 
great Art uf all Poetry is to mix Truth 
and Fiction, in order to join the Credi- 
ble with the Surprizing ; our Author 
fhall produce the Credtble, by MC 
Nature in her /oweft —— 
the Surprigiug, by contradictin 
mon Opinion. In the very . 
he will affect the Marvellous; he will 
draw Achilles with the Patience of Fob; 
a Prince talking like a Jack-pudding ; a 
Maid of Honour ſelling Bargains ; a 
Footman ſpeaking like a Philoſopher ; 
and a fine Gentleman like a Scholar. 
W boever is converſant in modern Plays, 
may make a molt noble Collection of this 
Lind, and at the ſame time, form a com- 
pleat 


y_—_— OO = = 


TEE 


1 
— 


5 


pleat Body of 
Morality. © 1 

Nor nix ſeem'd more plain to 
dur great Authors, than that the World 
had long been weary of natural Things. 
How much the c is form'd to 
pleaſe, is evident from the univerſal 
Applauſe daily given to the admirable 
Entertainments of Harlequins and Ma- 
= on our Stage. When an Au- 

| behold a Coach turn'd into a 
Wheel-barrow, a Conjurer into an Old 
Woman, or. a Man's Head where his 
Heels ſhould be ; how are they ſtruck 
with Tranſport and Delight? Which 
can only be imputed to this Cauſe, 
that each Object is chang'd into That 
which hath been ſuggeſted to them by 
their own low Ideas before, 

Hs ought therefore to render him- 
ſelf Maſter of this and antinatural 
way of thinking to ſuch a degree, as 
to be able, on the appearance of any 
Object, to furniſh his Imagination with 
Ideas infinitely below it. And his Eyes 
thould be like unto the wrong end of a 
Perſpective Glaſs, by which all the 
Odjects of Nature are leſſen d. 

Fox example, when a true Genius 
looks upon the Sky, he immediately 
C 2 catches 


Medern Ethicks ind 


— 


20 Of the Art of SNN 


catches the Idea of 4 Piece of Blue 
Luteſtring, or a Child's Mantle. 


room, 
8 The Skies, whoſe ſpreading Volumes 13 have 
p. 41.42, Hum thin, and wove in Nature's fineſt Loom, 
The new-born Horld in their ſoft Lap embrac'd, 
Aud all around their ſtarry Mantle caſt. 


Ix he looks upon a Tempeſt, he ſhall 
have the Image of a tumbled Bed, and de- 
ſcribe a ſucceeding Calm in this manner, 


The Ocean joy d to ſee the Tempeſt fled, (Bed. 
p. 14. New lays his Waves and ſmooths his ruffled 


Tur Triumphs and Acclamations of 
the Angels, at the Creation of the Uni- 
verſe, preſent to his Imagination the 
Rejoicings of the Lord Mayor's Day; 
and he beholds thoſe glorious Beings 
celebrating the Creator, by Huzzaing, 
making IIluminations, and flinging 
Squibbs, Crackers and Sky-rockets. 


page 5o. Glorious Illuminations, made on high 
By all the Stars aud Planets of the Sly, 


N. B. In order to do juſtice to theſe great Poets, 
our Citations are taken from the beſt, the laſt, and moſt 
correct Editions of their Works. That which we uſe 

of Prince Arthur, is in duodecimo, 1714. The fourth 
Edition, cdi. 

In 


* 


— 


»ꝗäß 


an POE TRY 21 


I juſt Degrees, and ſhining Order plac'd, 
Speftators charm'd, and the bleſt Dwelling grac'd. 
Tro all th enlighcen'd Air ſwift Fire wor ks flew, 
N hich with repeated Shouts glad Cherubs threw. 
Comets aſcended with their ſweeping Train, 
Then fell inſtarry Showers and glittering Rain. 
In Air ten thouſand Meteors blazing hung, 
Which frum th Eternal Battlements were flung. 


Is a Man who is violently fond of 
Mit, will facrifice to that Paſſion his 
Friend or his God; would it not be a 


ſhame, if he who is ſmit with the 


Love of the Bathos ſhould not ſacrifice 
to it all other tranſitory Regards ? 
You ſhall hear a zealous Proteſtant 
Deacon invoke a Saint, and modeſtly 
beſeech her only to change the Courſe 
of Providence and Deſtiny, for the 
fake of three or four weighty Lines. 


Loo down, bleſt Saint, with Pity then look down, 

Shed on this Land thy kinder Influence, 

And guide us through the Miſts of Provideice, mg 

Ia which we ſtray. of Queen 
; | Mary. 


Neither will he, if a goodly Simile 
come in his way, ſeruple to affirm hira- 
2 ſeit 


S . 
* 


os 


© Of the Art of SINKING | 


Fob. 0 


edit. duod. His Pencil, dipt: in heavenly Colour bright, 


ſelf an Eye-witneſs of things never yet 
beheld by Man, or never in ——_— 


Bur to convince you, that nothing 
is ſo great which a marvellous Genius, 
prompted by this laudable Zeal; is not 
able to leſſen ; hear how the moſt 
Sublime of all Beings is repreſented in 
the following Images. hs 


Firſt he is a PAINTER. 


Sometimes the Lord of Nature in the Air, 
| Spreads forth his Clouds, vis ſable Canvaſs, where 


Black. 


2 — Paints his fair Rain- bow, charming to the Sight. 
Now he is a CHYM1ST. 
Black. Pf. T Almighty Chymiſt does his Work prepare, 


263. p. Pours down his Waters on the thirſty Plain, 


Digeſts his Lightning, and diſtills his Rain. 
Now he i is a Wa ESTLER-. 


Pag. 77. Me in his griping Arms th Eternal took, 
And with ſuch mighty Force my Body ſhook, 


That the it rong Graſp my Members ſorely y 
bruis' d, 


Broke all my Bones, and all my Sinews loos'd. 
Now 


x Au 


— — — — — 
w PORFRY. 23 
Nowa REcauiTING Oxricen 
For Clouds the Sun- Beams levy freſh Supplies, Pag. 170. 
And raiſe Recruits of Vapours, which ariſe, 
Drawn from the Seas, to muſter in the Skies. 

Now a peaceable GuaRANTEE. 


In Leagues of Peace the Neighbours did agree, Pag. 70. 
And to maintain them, God was Guarantee. 


Then he is an ATTORNEY. 


Job, as a vile Offender, God indites, Pag.61. 
And terrible Decrees againſt me writes. 

God will not be my Advocate, 

My Cauſe to manage, or debate, 


In the following Lines he is a Gor p- 
BEATER. 


Who the rich Metal beats, and then, with Care pag. 18 1. 
Unfolds the Golden Leaves, 20 gild the Fields 


of Air. 
Then a Fur ER. 


—— * exhaling Reels that ſecret riſe, pag. 18 
Born on rebounding Sun-beams thro” the Skies ; + 
Are thicken'd, wrought, and whiten'd, 700 
they grow 

A Heavenly Fleece. 


C4 A 


24 Of the Art of SixxinG 
A MERCER, or PACKER. 


Didſt thoy one End of Ajr's wide Curtain hol, 
And help the Bales of Ether to unfold ; 
Bag. 174- Say, which cerulian Pile was by thy Hand un- 
roll'd? | 


A BUTLER. 
He meaſures all the Drops with wondrousSkill, 
nich the black Clouds, his floating Bortles, fill. 


And a BAK ER. 
Black. 


sorg of God in the Wilderneſs his Table ſpread, 
Moe. P. And in his Airy Ovens bak d their Bread. 


218. 


Page 131. 


CHAP. VI. 
Of the ſeveral Kinds of Genius in 
the Profund, and the Marks and 


Character. of each. 


Dou T not but the Reader, by this 
Cloud of Examples, begins to be con- 
vinc'd of the Truth of our Aſſertion, that 
the Bathos is an Art; and that the 
Genius of no Mortal whatever, fol- 
lowing the meer Ideas of Nature, and 


wnalfiſted with an habitual, nay la- 
borious 


bt 


- 
— ä 
* 
* 1 


8 * 
* - o We * 7 TE. * 
4 . 24 * O E T R Y " 8 
% . a 


26 


borious Peculiarity of thinking, could 
arrive at Images ſo wonderfully low 
and ungccountable. The great Author, 
from whoſe Treafury we have drawn 
all thefe Inſtances (the Father of the 
Nat bos, and indeed the Homer of it) 
has like that immortal Greek, confin'd 
his Labours to the Poetry, and 
thergby left room for others to acquire 
a due ſhare of Praife in inferiour kinds. 
Many Painters who could never hit 
a Noſe or an Eye, have with Felicity 
copied a Small-Pox, or been admirable 
at a Toad or a Red-Herring. And 
ſeldom are we without Genius for Srili 
Life, which they can work up and 
ſtiffen with incredible Accuracy. 

A x univerſal Genius rifes not in an 
Age; but when he rifes, Armies riſe 
in him! he pours forth five or fix 
Epick Poems with greater Facility 
than five or ſix Pages can be produc 
by an elaborate and ſervile Copyer 


after Nature or the Ancients. It is 


affirm d by Quintilian, that the fame 
Genius which made Germanicus fo 
great a General, would with equal 
Application have made him 'an ex- 
cellent Heroic Pact, In like manner, 

reaſoning 


— 


ity there ap- 


1 


its, might ſcyer: 
reſpective parts of the Bathos. 

I SHALL range theſe conſin d and leſs 
copious Genius s under proper Claſſes, 
and (the better to give their Pictures to 
the Reader) under the Names of Ani- 
mals of ſome ſort or other; whereby 
he will be enabled, at the firſt ſight of 
ſuch as ſhall daily come forth, to know 
to what Kind to refer, and with what 
Authors to compare. them. 

1. Tus Flying Fiſhes; theſe are 
Writers who now and then riſe upon 
their Fjns, and fly ont of the Pro- 
ſund; but their Wings are ſoon dry, 
and they drop down to the Bottom. 
G. §. 4. H. C. G. 

2. Tn Swallows are Authors that 
are eternally Jkimming and fluttering 
up and down, but all their 4 1s 


employ d to catch Flies. LT. VP. 
Lord R. 


3. Tun 


——— 8 


27 


n PaETRY. _ 


3. TRI OQfrridges are ſuch whoſe 
Hegvineſs rarely permits them to 
raife themſelves from the Ground ; 
their Wings are of no uſe to lift 
them up, and their Motion is be- 
they run very faſt. D. F. L. E. 
The Hon. E. H. 

4 Tx Parrots are they that re- 
peat another's Words, in ſuch a boarſe, 
odd Voice, that makes them ſeem their 
own. V. B. V. H. C. C. The Reve- 
rend D. D. 

F. Tus Didappers are Authors 
that keep themſelves long out of fiebr, 
under water, and come up now and 
then where you leaſt expefied them. 
L. J. —D. Eſq; The Hon. Sir V. 7. 
' 6. TRI Porpoiſes are unweildly 
and big ; they put all their Numbers into 
a great Turmoil and Tempeſt, but when- 
ever they appear in plain Light, (which 
is ſeldom) they are only ſbapeleſ and 
 wely Monfters. J. D. C. G. J. O. 

7. Tas Frogs are ſuch as can 
neither all nor fly, but can leap and 
bound to admiration : 'They live gene- 
rally in the Bottom of a Ditch, and 
make a great Noiſe whenever they 
Ag & oh. ”” ek 


vun. 


3g 


GY the Art of SmxiNG = 


i 


thruſt their Heads above Water. 
E. M. I. M. Eſq; T. D. Gent. 

8. Trax Eels are obſcure Authors, 
that wrap themſelves up in their oz! 
Mud, but are mighty nimble and perr. 
L. IV. I. J. P. N. General C. 

9. Tur Tortoiſes are [low and chill, 
and like Paſtoral Writers delight 
much in Gardens : they have for the 
moſt part a fine embroider d Shell, and 
underneath it, a heavy Lamp. A. P. 
IJ. B. IJ. E. The Rt. Hon. E. of S. 

Tusk are the chief Characteriſticks 
of the Bathos, and in cach of theſe 
Kinds we have the comfort - to be 
blefs'd with ſundry and manifold choice 
Spirits in this our Iſland. 


8 


— — — — 
— 


CHAP. VII. 


of the Profund, when it conſiſts m the 
Thought. 571 


J have already laid down the 
| Principles upon which our Au- 
thor is to procced, and the Manner 
of forming his Thoughts by familia- 
zing his Mind to the lowett Objects; 

0 


— 


* 


f 71 P GET R Tv. 


29 


to which it may be added, that oulgar 
Converſation will greatly contribute. 
There is no Queſtion but the Garret 
or the Printer's Boy may ofteri be di- 
ſcern'd in the Compoſitions made irt ſuch 
Scenes, and Company; and much of 
Mr. Curl himſelf has been inferifibly 
infuſed into the Works of his learned 
Writers, | | | 
Tx Phyſician, by the Study and In- 
ſpection of Urine and Ordure, approves 
himſelf in the Science ; and in like ſort 
ſhould our Author accuſtom and exerciſe 
his Imagination upon theDregs of Nature. 
T H1s will render his Thoughts truly 
and fundamentally Low, and carry him 
many fathoms beyond Mediocrity. For, 
certain it is, (tho' ſome lukewarm Heads 
imagine they may be ſafe by tempo- 
rizing between the Extreams) that where 
there is a Triticalneſs or Mediocrity in 
the Thong ht, it can never be ſunk into 
the genuine and perfect Bathos, by the 
moſt elaborate low Expreſſion : It can, 
at moſt, be only carefully obſcured, or 
metaphorically debaſed. But tis the 
Thought alone that ſtrikes, and gives 
the whole that Spirit, which we admire 


and ſtare at. For inſtance, in that in- 


genious 


idem. 


5 Of the Art me 


ious Piece on a Lady's drinking the 
B-Waters. . 


She drinks ! She drinks # Behold the matchleſs 
Dame ! | 

To her "tis Water, but to us "tis Flame : 

Thus Fire is Water, Water Fire, by turns, 

And the ſame Stream at once both cools and barns. 


WHAT can be more eaſy and af- 
feed than the Dien of theſe Verſes? 
"Tis the Turn of Thought alone, and 
the Varicty of Imagination, that charm 
and ſurprize us. And when the ſame 
Lady goes into-the Bath, the Thought 
(asin juſtneſs it ought) goes ſtill deeper. 
Venus beheld her, midſt her Crowd of Slaves, 
And thought Herſelf juſt riſen from the IVaves. 

How much out of the way of com- 
not knowing herſelf from the Lady ? : 
D AF On 

ce of a fri Stag in f | 
of which the Poet, — 
Hears his own Feet, and thinks they ſound like more; 
And fears the hind Feet will o'ertake the 1 


80 


1. * P OE T K T. * JT 


2} aſtoniſhing as theſe they 

14 to the following, which & Prof 
l 2 
None bur Himſelf can be bis Paritiet Thelald, 


unleſs it may ſeem borrow'd from the | 


the Pi eataſt ban in the 
World, neg EY 

Ling or _ N is cer 
tamiy an 8 a bean- 
a 


So fair thou art, that great Cupid be 
A Child, as Poets ſay, ſure thou art He. 
Fair Venus would miſtake thee for ber own, 
Did not thy Eyes proclaim thee not her Son. 
There all the Lightnings of thy Mother's ſhine, 
And with a fatal Brightneſs kill in thine. 


Fmsr he is Cupid, then he is not 
Cupid ; firſt Venus would miſtake him, 
then ſhe would not miſtake him ; next 
his Eyes are his Mother's; and laſtly 
they are not his Mother's, but his own. 


ANOTHER 


"Of the Art of S- 


ANornEx Author, deſcribing a Poet 
that ſhines forth amidſt a Circle of 
Criticks, 


Thus Phabus thro the Zodiack takes his way, 
And amid Monſters riſes into Day. 

WHarT a Peculiarity is here of In- 
vention e The Author's Pencil, like the 
Wand of Circe, turns all into Monſters 
a a _— A Ges takes 

in Lump, without 1 

at - Su Conſiderations: In 5 
the Ram, the Bull, the Goat, the Lion, 
the Crab, the Scorpion, the Fiſhes, 
all ſtand in his way, as mere natural An 
mals: much more might it be pleaded 
that a pair of Scales, an old Man, and two 
innocent Children, were no Monſters : 
There were only the Centatir and 
the Maid that could be eſteem'd out 
of Nature. - But what of that 2 with 
nf Boldneſs peculiar to theſe daring Ge- 
nius's, what he found not Monſters, 


he made ſo. 


— — ——— 


5 in POE TR X. 


— 


CHAP. vn. 

of the Profand conſiſting in the Cir- 

cum ſtances, and of Amplification 
and Periphraſe in general. 


HAT in a. great meaſure di- 
ſtinguiſhes other Writers from 
ours, is their chuſing and ſeparating 

ſuch Circumſtances in a Deſcription as 
illuſtrate or elevate the Subject. 
Taz Circumſtances which are moſt 
natural are obvious, therefore not 
_ aſtoniſhing or peculiar. But thoſe that 
are 3 Þo or 2 or hard- 
ly compatible, will ſurprize prodigi- 
* Theſe rake he 2 - — > 
cipally hunt out; but above all, pre- 
ſerve a laudable Prolixity ; preſenting 
the Whole and every Side at once of 
the Image to view. For Choice and 
Diſtinction are not only a Curb to the 
Spirit, and limit the Deſcriptive Fa- 
culty, but alſo leſſen the Book, which 
is frequently of the worſt conſequence 
of all to our Author. 


9 Wuzx 


34 Of the Art of SNN. 
Wrzx Fob ſays in ſhort, He waſh d 
his Feet in Butter, (a Circumſtance 


fome Poets would have ſoften'd, or paſt 


over) hear how it is ſpread out by the 
Great Genius. 


With Tears diftended with their milly Store 
Such num'rous lowing Herds, before my Door, 
Their painful Burden to unload did mett,, 
3 That we with Butter might heve wait ur 


Feet. 
Fob.p.133 
How cautious! and particular! 
He had (ſays our Author) ſo many 
Herds, which Herds thriv'd ſo well, 
and thriving ſo well, gave ſo much 
Milk, and that Milk produc d fo much 


Butter, that if he did not, he migbt 
have wafh'd his Feet in it. 


Tus enſaing Deſcription of Hell is 
no leſs remarkable in the Circum- 
ſtances. 


I flaming Heaps the raging Ocean rolls, 

Whoſe livid Waves involve deſpairing Souls ; 

The liquid Burnings dreadful Colours ſbeu, 
— — Some deeply red, and others faintly blue. 


Courp the moſt minute Dutch 
Painter have been more exact? How 
inimi- 


POETRY. <7... ns 
inimitably circumſtantial is this alſo of 
4 War-Horſe! 


His Eye-Balls burn, he wounds the ſmoaking 
Plain, 
And knots of ſcarlet Ribbond deck his Mane. Anon. 


Of certain Cudgel-Players: 
They brandifh high in Air their threataing Staves, 
Their Hands a woven Guard of Ozier ſaves, pr. art. 
Is which, they fix their hazel weapon s end. P-197+ 


Wo would not think the Poet 
had paſt his whole Life at Wakes in 
ſuch laudable Diverſions? He even 
teaches us how to hold, and to make, 
a Cudgel! 

Periphraſe is another great Aid 
to Prolixity; being a diffus d cir- 
cumlocutory Manner of expreſſing a 
known Idea, which ſhould be fo mi- 
ſteriouſly- couch d, as to give the Reader 
the Pleaſure of gueſſing what it is that 
the Author can poſſibly mean; and a 
Surprize when he finds it. 

Tus Poet I laſt mention'd is incom- 
parable in this Figure. 


A waving Sea of Heads was round me ſpread, 
And ftill freſh Streams the gazing Deluge fed. Fob p. 78, 


D 2 HRE 


36 | Of the Art of S. NC 


Here is a waving Sea of Heads, 
which by a freſh Stream of Heads, 
grows to be a gazing Deluge of Heads. 
You come at laſt to find it means a 

great Crowd. Fi 

How pretty and how genteel is the 
following. . 

Natures Confectioner,— 
Whoſe Suckets are moiſt Alchimy : 
The Still of his refining Mold, 
Minting the Garden into Gold. 
Whatis this, but a Bee gathering Honey ? 
Little Syren of the Sage 
Empty warbler, breathing Lyre, 
Wanton Gale of fond defire, 
Tuneful miſchief, vocal Spell. 


Who would think this was only a poor 

Gentlewoman that ſung finely 2 
We may define Amplification-to be 
making the moſt of a Thought; it is the 
ſpinning Wheel of the Bathos, which 
draws out and ſpreads it in the fineſt 
Thread. There are Amplifiers who can 
extend half a dozen thin Thoughts 
over a whole Folio ; but for which, the 
'Tale of many a vaſt Romance, and the 
Subſtance of many a fair. Volume 
might 


Cleveland. 


oil. 7 
might be reduced into the ſize of a 
Promer. - . : | 

Ix the Book of Job, are theſe 
Words, Haſt thou commanded the 
Morning, and cauſed the Day Spring 
to know his Place? How is this ex- 


tended by the moſt celebrated Amplifier 
of our Age ? 


Canſt thou ſet forth th etherial Mines on high, Fob p. 180. 
Which the refulgent Ore of Light ſupply ? 

I the Celeſtial Furnace to thee known, 

In which I melt the golden Metal down? 

Treaſures, from whence I deal out Light as faſt, 

As all my Stars and laviſh Suns can waſte. 


Tur ſame Author hath amplified 
a Paſlage in the 104th Pſalm; He 
looks on the Earth, and it trembles. 
He touches the Hills, and they ſmoke. 


The Hills forget they're fix d, and in their p. 265 
Fright, 
Caſt off their Weight, and eaſe themſelves 
for flight: 
The Woods, with Terror wing'd, our-fly the 
Wind, | 
And deave the heavy, panting Hills behind. 


You here 'fee the Hills not only 
trenÞling, but ſhaking off their Woods 
D 3 from 


tre 


38 Of the Art of SN 


from their Backs, to run the faſter : 
After this you are preſented with a 
Foot Race of Mountains and W 
where the Woods diſtance the Moun- 
tains, that like corpulent purſy Fellows, 
come puffing and panting a vaſt way 
behind them. | 


CHAP. E. 
Of Imitation, and the manner of Imir 
tating. 


HAT the true Authors of the 

Profund are to imitate dili- 
gently the Examples in their own 
Way, is not to be queſtiond, and 
that divers have by this Means attain'd 
to a Depth whereunto their wn 
Weight could not have carried them, 
is evident by ſundry Inſtances. Who 
1ecs not that DeF-- was the Poetical Son 


ot Ilithers, T--te of Ogilby, E. V ra 

of John Taylor, and E — n of B 

re? "Therefore when we fit down 

to write, let us bring ſome great: Au- 

thor to our Mind, and ask our ſelves 

this Queſtion; How would Sir 7 _ 
| ar 


bh ——_— 


— 


in POE TRV. 


— 


39 


ard have ſaid this? Do I expreſs 
myſelf” as ſimply as 4. PB? or flow 
my Numbers with the quiet thoughtleſs- 
neſs of Mr. W--ft--d? 

Bur it may ſeem ſomewhat ſtrange 
to aſſert, that our Proficient ſhould 
alſo read the Works of thoſe fa- 
mous Poets who have excell'd in the 
Sublime : Yet is not this a Pa- 
radox. As Virgil is ſaid to have read 
 Ennius, out of his Dunghil to draw 
Gold; ſo may our Author read Shake- 


ſpear, Milton, and Dryden, for the 


contrary End, to bury their Gold in 
his own Dunghil. A true Genius, 
when he finds any thing lofty or 
ſhining in them, will have the Skill to 
bring it down, take off the Gloſs, or 
quite diſcharge the Colour, by ſome 
ingenious Circumſtance, or Periphraſe, 
ſome Addition, or Diminution, or by 
ſome of thoſe Figures the uſe of which 

we ſhall ſhew in our next Chapter. 
Tux Book of Fob is acknowledg d 
to be infinitely ſublime, and yet has 
not our Father of the Zathos reduc'd 
it in every Page ? Is there a Paſſage in 
all Pireil more painted up and labour'd 
D 4 than 


"ey 


Of the Art of SINKING = 


Pr. Arth. 


Fag. 77. 


feriam |: 
era ver- 
ce. 


* Sublimi 


than the Deſcription of AÆAtna in the 
Third raid. a; le nt 


— Horrificis juxta tonat Etna ruinis, 
Interdumque atram prorumpit ad athera nubem, 
Turbine fumantem piceo, & candente favilla, 
Attollitque globos flammarum, & fidera lambit. 
Interdum ſcopulos avulſaque viſcera montis 
Erigit eruflans, liguefactaque ſaxa ſub auras 
Cum gemitu glomerat, fundoque exæſtuat imo. 


(I beg Pardon of the gentle Engliſb 
Reader, and ſuch of our Writers as un- 
derſtand not Latin) But lo! how this 
is taken down by our Britif Poet, by 
the ſingle happy Thought of throwing 
the Mountain into a Fit of the CHolic. 


Etna, and all the burning Mountains, find 

Their kindled Stores with inbred Storms of Wind 
Blown up to Rage, and roaring out, complain, 
As torn withinward Gripes, audtorturing Pain. 
Lab'ring, they caſt their dreadful Vomit round, 


And with their melted Bowels, ſpread the 
Ground, 


Horace, in ſearch of the Sub- 
lime, {truck his Head againſt the Stars; 
but Empelocler, to tathom the Pro- 
fund, threw himſelf into Ana: And 


who 


— - 


3 


in PoETR T. 


— 


who but would imagine our excel- 
lent Modern had alfo been there, from 
this Deſcription ? 

IMITATION is of two Sorts; the 
Firſt is when we force to our own 
Purpoſes the Thoughts of others ; 
The Second conſiſts in copying the 
Imperfections, or Blemiſhes of cele- 
brated Authors. I have ſeen a Play 
profeſſedly writ in the Stile of Shake- 
ſpear, wherein the greateſt Reſemblance 
lay in one ſingle Line, | 


And fo good Morrow t ye, good Ma- 
er Lieutenant. xi 


And ſundry Poems in Imitation of Mil- 
ton, where with the utmoſt Exactneſs, 
and not ſo much as one Exception, 
nevertheleſs was conſtantly nat hleſs, em- 
broider'd was broider d, Hermits were 
Er emites, diſdain'd was ſdeign d, ſhady 


umbrageous, Enterprize Emprize, Pa- 
gan Paynim, Pinions Pennons, ſweet 


dulcet, Orchards Orchats, Bridge-work 
Pontifical; nay, her was Bir, and their 
was thir thro the whole Poem. And in 
very Deed, there is no other Way by 
| | which 


Tf the Art of SNN 


wich the true modern Poet could read 
to any purpoſe the Works of ſuch 
N. as Ailton and Shakeſpear. 


r may be expected, that like other 
:"-+cicks, I ſhould next ſpeak of the 
P,gsr9ws ; But as the main End and 
pr ncipal Effect of the Barthes is to 
woduce Trangquillity of Mind, (and 
ge it I a better Deſign to pro- 
more Sicep than Madneſs) we have 
little to ſay on this Subject. Nor 
ei the ſhort Bounds of this Diſ- 
courſe allow us to treat at large of 
the Fmollients and Opiats of Poeſy, of 
the Ccol, and the Manner of producing 
it, or of the Methods usd by our 
Authors in e : the Paſſions. 
T ſhall hut tranſient y remark, that 
norhing contributes ſo much to the 
Ceol, as the Uſe of Vit in expreſſing 
Paſſion: The true Genius rarely fails 
of Poznts, Conceits, and proper Simi- 
lier on ſuch Occaſions : This we may 
term the Pathetic epigrammatical, in 
which even Puns are made uſe of 
with good Succeſs. Hereby our beſt 
Authors have avoided throwing them- 
ſelves or their Readers into any in- 
decent Tranſports. 


Bur 


2 g o CE _—__ ES SS 
* . 


m POET TJ. 


„ 


Bur foraſmuch as it is ſometimes 


needful ro excite the Paſſions of our 
Antagoniſt in the Polemic way, the 
true Students in the Lom have con- 
ſtantly taken their Methods from Lom - 
Life, where they obſerv'd, that to 
move Anger, uſe is made of ſcalaing 
and railing; to move Love, of Baum- 
; to beget Favour and Friendſhip, 
of groſs Hattery; and to produce 
Fear, by calumaiating an Adverſary 
with Crimes obnoxious to the State. 
As for Shame, it is a filly Paſſion, 
of which as our Authors are incapable 


themſelves, ſo they would not pro- 
duce it in others. 


CHAP. X. 
Of Tropes and Figures : and firft of 


the variegating, confuſing, and re- 
Ares. 


werfmg 


UT we proceed to the Figures. 
We cannot too earneſtly recom- 
mend to our Authors the Study of 
the Abuſe of Speech. They ought to 
lay it down as a Principle, to ſay no- 


thiog 


Of the Art of SINKING 


thing in the uſual way, but (if poſſible) 
in the direct contrary. Therefore 
the Figures muſt be ſo turn'd, as 
to miniſeſt that intricate and won- 
derful Ca? of Head, which diſ- 
tingu ſhes al! Writers of this Genius; 
or (as | tay ſay) to refer exactly the 
Mold in which they were form'd. in 
all us Inequalities, Cavities, Obliqui- 
ties, odd Crannies, and Diſtortions. 

I T would be endleſs, nay impoffible 
ro enumerate all ſuch Figures; bur we 
ſhall content ourſelves to range the 
Principal which moſt powerfully con- 
tribute to the Batbas, under three 
Claſſes. 


I. T n = Variegatmg; Confuſing, or 
Reverſing Tropes and Figures. 


II. TRE Magnifying, and 
III. TAE Diminiſhing. 


WE cannot avoid giving to theſe 
the Greek or Roman Names; but in 
Tenderneſs to dur Countrymen and 
fellow Writers, many of whom, how- 
ever « exquilite, are wholly ignorant 
ot thoſe Languages, we have allo ex- 
pla in d them in our Mother Tongue, 


Os 


— — Y 


in PorTay:. .. 45 


Or the Firſt Sort, nothing 5 much 
conduces to the Abuſe of Speech, as the 
CATACHRESIS, * +» 
A Mafter of this will ay, ' 
Mow the Beard, | 
Shave the Graſs, — 7 
Din the Plank; . ' © * 
Nai my Sleeve. 0 
From er reſults the ame kikd of 
Pleafure to the Mind, as doth to the 
Eye when we behold Harlequin trim- 
ming himſelf with à Hatcher, hewing 
down a Tree with a Raſor, making 
his Tea in a Cauldron, and brewing 
his Ale in a Tea-pot, to the incredible 
Satisfaction of the Pritiſh Spectator. 
Another Source of the Bat bos is 


- The ME TONYM Y, 


the - Inverſ jon of * Cauſes for Effects, 


of Inventors for Inventions, c. 
: ih; 4 


Lac 1 in her . Coſins new appear 'd the Bride, $ 


J4 


4 Hp 


A * Bubble-boy aud * Tompion at her Side, 
4 with an Air divine her Colmar ph d. 

And oh! ſhe cries, what Slaves I round me ſee ? 
Here a bright Redcoat, there a ſmart * Toupee. 


— 


* * * ** Stays. TweeZer-caſe, Watch, Fan, and 4 fort of 
Perriwig : All Words in uſe this preſent Year 1727. 


The 


46 Of the Art of Sixxrne © 


The -SYNECHDOCHE 


Which confifts, in the Uſe of a 
Part for the Mole; you may call a 
yn Woman ſometimes Pretty-face 
and Pigs-eyes, and ſometimes Snotty- 
noſe and Draggle tail. Or of Accidents 
for Perſons ; as a Lawyer is call'd 
Sphitzcauſe, a Taylor Prick-louſe, &c. 
r 


= 


Or of things belonging to a Man, for 
the Man hi I; 28 a Sword-Man, a 
Cam man, a T+m-T--d-man; 2 I hite- 
5 2 Turn- key, Oc. 


The Ar os 10 Es ts. 


An excellent Figure for the Ignorant, 
as, What ſball I ſay? when one has 
nothing to ſay; or I can no more, 
when one really can no more : Ex- 
preſſions which the gentle Reader is ſo/ 
good, as never to take in earneft. 


The Mr: TaPHoOR- 


The firſt Rule is to draw it from 
the loweſt things, which is a certa.ia 
way to fink the higheſt; as when 


you 


| 


in POETRT＋. 47 
you ſſ pelk of the Thunder of Heaven, 


3 9 


fay, 


Ir you would deſcribe a rich Man 
refunding his Treaſures, expreſs it 
thus, 


Tho he (as ſaid) may Riches gorge, the Spoil 
Painful in maſſy Vomit ſhall recoil. | Black. Job. 
Soon ſhall he periſh with a ſwift Decay, p. 91.93 
Like his own Ordure, caſt with Scorn away. 


THE Second, that whenever you 


ſtart a Metaphor, you muſt be ſure 


to Run it down, and purſue it as far 
as it can go, It you get the Scent of 


a a State Negotiation, follow it in this 


manner. 


The Stones and all the Elements with thee 
Shall ratify a ſtrict Confederacy ; FJob.p.22, 
Wild Beaſts their ſavage Temper ſhall forget, 
And for a firm Alliance with thee treat ; 
The finny Tyrant of the ſpacious Seas 

Shall ſend a ſcaly Embaſſy for Peace 
His plighted Faith the Crocodile ſpall keep, 
And ſeeing thee, for Foy fincerely weep. 


OR 


— 


* 


43 Tf the Are of ee 


Blackm 
faiah. chap 


40. 


; 


O if you repreſent the Cpeator de- 
nouncing War againſt the Wicked, be 
ſure not to omit one Circumſtance uſual 


in proclaiming and levying War. 
I. Envoys and Agen who by my Command 


Reſide in Paleſtina's Land, 
To whom Commiſſions I have given, 
To manage there the Intereſts of Heaven. 


| Te holy Heralds who proclaim 
Or War or Peace, in mine your Maſter's Name. 


Te Pioneers of Heaven, prepare a Road, 
Make it plain, direct and broad ;— 
For I in perſon will my People head ; 

For the divine Deliverer 

Wil on his March in Majeſty appear, 

And needs the Aid of no Confederate Pow'r. 


Ux DER the Article of the Confuſing, 
we rank 


The MixTuRE of FiGUREs, 


which raiſes ſo many Images, as to giye 
you no Image at all. But its principal 
Beauty is when it gives an Idea juſt 
oppoſite to what it ſeemd meant to 
deſcribe. Thus an ingenious Artiſt 
painting the Spring, talks of a Snozy of 
Bloſſoms, and thereby raiſes an un- 

| expected 


=, er & e 


5 I" — — 
in POERT RT. 49 
Picture of Miner. — 

Sort is the following : | 


The gaping Clouds pour Late of Sulphur doun Fr. Okay, 
Whoſe livid flaſhes fickning Sunbeams drown. OW" 


W 1 x a noble Confuſion ? Clouds, 


Lakes, Brimſtone, Flames, Sun-beams, 
gaping, pouring, fickning, drowning! 
; Lines. 


all in two 


"The Tan o N, 


Thy Head ſhall riſe, tho" buried in the Duſt, ee 
And midſt the Clouds his glittering Turrers thruſt. 


Ouere, what are the glittering Tur- 
rets of a Man's Head? 


Upon the Shore, as frequent as the Sand, Pr.Avebur, 
To meet the Prince, the glad Dimetians ſtand. P. 7. 
„ Where theſe Dimetians 
? and of what Size they were? 
Deſtruction Empire ſhall no longer laſt, 

And Deſolation he for ever waſte. 


Foo. p. 89: 


Bur for Variegation and Confuſion 


of Objects, nothing is more uſeful 
than 


E The 


— — ihe L SEN 


The — 515, or Sex-5aw, 


Whereby Contraries and Oppoſitions 
are ballane d in ſuch a way, as to cauſe 

_ © a Reader to remain ſuſpended between 
7984 to þ We de et Delight an 
creat ion. are theſe, on a La dy 
Weide elf a; out of fize „by k - 
ding a young Priricels under her Cloaths. 


Waller. JI hile the kind Nymph changing her faultleſs Shape 
Becomes unhandſome, handfomely to ſcape. 


On the Maids of Honour in Moutning ;: 


2” PTC 


S.. on QSadh they charm and diſmally a Morſe. 


2 —— His Eyes fo b 
Let in the Object; and ler out the Labs 


Lee Alex, The Gods bol pale to ſee u vob ſo red. 


Phil, Pa. — — The Fairies aud their Queen 
In Mantles blue came tripping o er the Green, 


Black. Job. All Nature felt a reverential Shock, 
p. 176. The Sea ſtood ſtill zo ſee the Mountains rock. 


© - 
— 1 * S . © — 


i Porter. © 57 


CHAP. XI. 


Fioures cotrianad : of the Mag- 
Hex and diminiſhing Figures. 


GENUINE Writer of the Pro- 
fund will take Care never to mag- 
nify any Object without clouding it at 
the bh time ; His Thought will ap- 


pear in 2 true Miſt, and very unlike 
what it is in Nature. It muſt always be 
remember d that Dar{reſs is an eſſential 
Quality of the Profund, or if there 
chance to be a Glimmering, it mult be 
as Milton expreſſes it, 


No Light, but rather Darkneſs viſible. 


The chief Figure of this ſort is, 
The HyrtaBort, or Impoſſible, 


The 


For Inſtance, of a Lion ; 


He roar'd fo loud, and look d ſo wondrous grim 


vet. Aut: 
His very Shadow durft not follow him. 


Of a Lady at Dinner. 


The filver WWhiteneſs that adorns thy N eck, 
Sallies the Plate, and makes the Napkin black. 
E 2 Of 


52 ff the Art of SinxInG 


Theob.— T obſcureneſs of ber Birth 
Double Di- Cannot eclipſe the Luſtre of her Eyes, 


frei. Which make her all one Light. 
Of a Bull-baiting, 


Up to the Stars the ſprawling Maſtives fy, 
And add new Monſters to the frighted Sky. 


Of a Scene of Miſery. 


Behold a Scene of Miſery and Moe! 

* Here Argus ſoon might weep himſelf quite blind, 
Ev'n tho he had Briareus hundred Hands 
To wipe thoſe hundred Eyes —= © 


And that modeſt Requeſt of two abſent 
| Lovers, 


Te Gods ! anni hilate but Space and Time, 
And make two Lovers happy. | 


The PERIRHRASIS, which the Mo- 
derns call the Circumbendibus, whereof 
we have given Examples in the ninth 
Chapter, and ſhall again in the twelfth. 

To the ſame Claſs of the Mag- 
nifying may be referr'd the following, 
which are fo excellently Modern, that 

we 


— — 


in 1 


we have yet no Name for them. In 


deſcribing a Country Proſpect 


I'd call them Mountains, but can't call them ©, hom 


For fear to wrong them with a Name too low; 
IWhile the fair Vales beneath fo humbly lie, 
That even humble ſeems a Term too high. 


III. Tur third Claſs remains, of the 

Diminiſhing Figures: And firſt, The 
AnTicLiMax, where the ſecond Line 
drops quite ſhort of the firſt, than which 
nothing creates greater Surprize. 


On the Extent of the Britiſh Arms. 
Under the Tropicks is our Language ſpoke, 


And Part of Flanders hath received our Toke. © 


On a Warrior. 


And thou Dalheuſfſy the great God of War, 
Lieutenant Colonel to the Earl of Mar. 


On the Valour of the Engliſh. 


Wall. 


Anon. 


Nor Death, nor Hell it ſelf can keep them out, _ * 


— Nor fortify'd Redoubt. 


AT other times this Figure operates 
in a larger Extent; and when the gen- 
_ tle Reader is in Expectation of ſome 
great Image, he either finds it ſurpriz- 
ingly imper fett, or is preſented with 

E 3 ſomc- 


54—Of the Art of SINKING 


- ſomething very bow, or quite ridiculous. 
A Surprize reſembling 


Tious s Perſon in a Cabinet of antique 


| Statues, who beholds on the Pedeſtal 


the Names of Homer, or Cato; but 
looking up, finds Homer without a 
Head, and nothing to be ſeen of Caro 
but his privy Member. Such are theſe 
Lines on a Leviathan at Sea. 


Placb. ob. His Motion works, and beats the oozy Mud, 


p. 197- 


Aad with its Slime incorporates the Flood, 
Till all ih encumber d, thick, fermenting Stream 
Does one vaſt Pot of boiling Ointment ſeem. 
l here er he ſuims, he leaves along the Lake 
Such frothy Furrotus, fuch a foamy Track, 
That all the Waters of the Deep appear 


Hoary -- with Age, or grey with ſudden Fear. 


Bur perhaps even theſe are ex- 
cell'd by the enſuing. 


Pr. Arthur, Nu the reſiſted Flames and fiery Store, 


75. 


By Winds aſſaulted, in wide Forges roar, ; 
And raging Seas flow down of melted Oar. 
Somet imes they hear long Iron Bars remov'd, 


Aud to aud fro huge Heaps of Cynders ſhov'd. 


The 


that of a cu- 


—— — —— _— 


WW 


— — —— — 


in POET RT. 65 


The Vurcan 
Is alſo a Species of the Diminiſhing ; 
By this a Spear flying in the Air is 


compar' to a Boy whiſtling as he goes 
Errand. 


The mighty Stuffa threw a maſſy Spear, 


Which, with its Errand pleas 'd ſung thro” the Air. Pr. Archie 


A Man raging with Grief to a 
Maſtiff Dog. | { loc 


1 cannot ſtifle this gigantic Me, 
Nor on my raging Grief a Muzzle ft — 00. P. 4t. 


And Clouds big with Water to 
a Woman in great Neceſſity. 


Diſtended with the Waters in em peut, 
The Clouds hang deep in Air, but hang unrent. 


The INFANTINE. 


THr71s is when a Poet grows ſo very 
ſimple, as to think and talk like a 
Child. I ſhall rake my Examples from 
the greateſt Maſter in this way. Hear 
how he fondles, like a meer Stammerer. 


Little Charm of placid Mien, A. POL. on 
Miniature of Beauty's Queen, Miis C— 


E 4 Fithes 


66 Of the Art of SixX NO 

Hither Britiſh Muſe of mine, 

Hither, all ye Grzcian Nine, 

With the lovely Graces Three, 
Aad your pretty Nurſeling ſee. 
I den the Meadows next are ſeen, 
Sweet Enamel, white and green. 
When agaia the Lambkins play, 
Pretty Sportlings ful of May. 
Then the Neck ſo white and round, 
(Little Neck with Brilliants bound.) 
And thy Gentleneſs of Mind, 
(Gentle from a gentle Kind) &c. 
Happy thrice, and thrice agen, 
Happieſt he of happy Men, &c. 


With the reſt of thoſe excellent Lu- 
{abies of his Compoſition, 


How prettily he asks the Sheep 
to teach him to bleat ? 


Phil. Paſt. Teach me to grieve with bleating Moan, my Sheep. 


Hcar how a Babe would reaſon on 
his Nurſe 's Death: 


l. Paſt. That ever ſbe could dye! Oh moſt unkind ! 
To die, and leave poor Colinet behind? 
And yet, — Why blame I ber? 
His Shepherd reafons as much like 
an Innocent, in Love: 


I leve 


2». 


in PoE TRT. 5 
- | Maar 
Ibid. 


1 love in ſecret all a beauteous Maid, 
And have my Love in ſecret all repay'd : 
This coming Night ſhe does reſerve for me. 


Tur Love of this Maiden to him 
appears by her allowing him the Re- 
ſerve of one Night from her other 
Lovers; which you ſee he takes ex- 
treamly kindly, 

Wir nu no leſs Simplicity does he 
ſuppoſe that Shepherdeſſes tear their 


Hair and beat their Breaſts, at their 
own Deaths : 


Ie brighter Maids, faint Emblems of my Fair, hid. 
With Looks caſt down, and with diſhevel'd Hair, 

In bitter Anguiſh beat your Breaſts, and moan 

Her Death untimely, as it were your own. 


The IN AN IT, or Nor HIN GN ESS. 


O x this the ſame Author furniſhes 
vs with moſt beautiful Inſtances : 


Ab fily J. more filly than my Sheep, 

(Which on the flow'ry Plain I once did keep.) 

To the grave Senate ſhe could Counſel give, 

(Which with Aſftouiſhmeat they did receive.) 

He whom loud Cannon could not terrify, | 

Falls (from the Grandeur of kis Majeſty.) id. 
The 


58 


Anon. 


Of the Art f SinxiNG 


The Noiſe returning with returning Light, 


What did it? 
— Diſpers'd the Silence, and diſpel d ile Night. 


Autor Vet. The Glories of proud London to ſurvey, 


(aun 


The Sun himſelf ſhall riſe — by break of Day. 
The ExrriErtive, 


admirably exemplified in the Epithets 
of many Authors. 


Th umbrageous Shadow, and the verdant Green, 
The running Current, and odorous Fragrance, 
Chear my lone Solitude with joyous Gladneſs. 


The Mc ROL OG and PLEONASM, 


are as generally coupled, as a lean Rab- 
bit with a fat one; nor is it a wonder, 
the. Superfluity of Words and Vacuity 
of Senſe, being juſt the ſame thing. 
am pleas d to ſee one of our greateſt 
Adverfaries employ this Figure. 


The Growth of Meadows, and the Pride of Fields. 
The Find of Armies and Support of Wars. 
Refuſe of Swords, and Gleanings of a Fight. 
Leſſeu bis Numbers, and contract his Hoſt. 

Il lere'er Lis Friends retire, or Fucs ſucceed. 
Cyrer'd with Tempeſts, and in Oceans drown'd, 


Of 


1 


— 


- 9D mas v' — 


FEE 355 
of al which the Perfeftion > 
The Tavroz0cr. Zonſ. Miſe. 


Break thro? the Billows, and — divide the Main.y. 291. 


hn ſmoother Numbers, and — in He Voſſe. Fourth Y 


Divide - and part - - the ſever'd World - in two. Ihid. vol. s. 


p. 121. 


Wir ten thouſand others equal ly 
muſi mot of or and plentifully flowing thro' 
our celebrate modern Poems. 


CHAP. XII. 
Of Expreſſion, and the ſeveral Sorts 
of Style of the preſent Age. 


"H E Expreſſion is adequate, when 
Wed N ably low to the Pro- 
the Thought. It muſt not 
we * Grammaticadl, leſt it appear 
pedantic and un gentlemanly ; ; Nor too 
clear, for fear it become vulgar ; for 
Obſcurity beſtows a Caſt of the Won 
derful, and throws an oracular Dignity 
upon a Piece which hath no meaning. 
FOR 


— — — — 


6 0% the Art 'of SinxING 


For example, ſometimes uſe the 
wrong Number ; The Sword and Peſ- 
tilence at once devours, inſtead of de- 

our. Sometimes the wrong Caſes 
Ti Hm. ind who more fit to ſooth-the G 
than thee, inſtead of thou : And rather 
than ſay, Thetis ſaw Achilles weep, 
ſhe heard him weep. 

We muſt be exceeding careful in 
two things ; firſt, in the Choice of lo 
Mords; ſecondly, in the ſober and 
erderiy way of ranging them. Many 
of our Poets are naturally bleſs'd with 
this Talent, inſomuch that they are in 
the Circumſtance of that honeſt Citizen, 
who had made Proſe all his Life without 
knowing it. Let Verſes run in $05 
manner, juſt to be a Vehicle 
Words. (I take them from my | F 
Author, who tho' otherwiſe bi no 
means of our Rank, ſeem'd one in 
his Life to have a mind to be ſimple.) 


iſ not, a Prize 1 will my ſelf decree, 
es: From him, or him, 07 elſe perhaps from thee. 


full of Days was he 
Tuo Ages paſt, ke liv'd the third to * 


Idem p.17. 


77 


in Pox TRT. 1 Od 
The King of forty Kings, aud honour'd more * 
By mighty Jove than e er u Ling before. - 
That I may know, if thou my Prayer dem, p. 34- 
The pu ⁰ Ge BAT 
Then let my Mother once be ruf d by me, p. 38. 
Tho' much more wiſe than ] pretend to ble. 
Or theſe of the ſame hand. : 
1 leave the Arts of Pretry-anil Vaſe | 2 
To them that practice them web ee faccghs >: 
Of greater Truths I nom prepare to tel, © 
And ſo at once, dear Friend and Muſe, — 
Sometimes a ſingle} Word will familia- 
rize a poetical Idea; as where a Ship 


ſet on fire owes all the Spirit of the 
Pathos to one choice Word that ends 
the Line. 


tis ſcorch'd Ribs the hot Contagion fry'd. 


And in that Deſcription of A 
World in Ruins. | 


Should the whole Frame of Nature nad break, 
He unconcern'd would hear the mighty Crack. 


So alſo in theſe : 


Pr. Arthur. 


P. 151. 


Tonſ. Miſc. 


vol.6. 119. 


Beaſts tame aud ſavage to the River's Brink Job. p. 263. 


Come from the Fields and wild Alodes = to drink. 
Fre- 


1 


62 Of the Art of Sinking 
Fxravextiytwo or three Words 
will do it effectually. 5 


14. Job. r. He from the Clouds Abs the ſweet Liquor ſqueeze, 
75 chears the Foreſt and the Garden Trees. 
; „„ 8 


Ir is alſo uſefal to employ Technical 
Terms, which eſtrange your Stile from 
the great and general Ideas of Na- 
ture: And the higher your Subject is, 
the lower ſhould you ſearch into Me- 
..  chanicks for your Expreſſion. If you 
pr. 4-4, deſeribe the Garment of an Angel; ſay 
wid. p. Bleach d on the happy Plains. Call 
239. . an Army of Angels, Angelic Cur aſſiers, 
and if you have Gccaſion to mention a 
Number of Misfortunes, ftile them 


Feb. p. 86. Freſh Troops of Pains, and regimented Wie,. 


Sri x is divided by the Rhetoricians 
into the Proper and the Figured. Of 
the Figurd we have already treated, 
and the is what our Authors 
have nothing to do with. Of Stiles 
we ſhall mention only the Principal, 
which owe to the Mogerns either their 
chief Improvement, or entire . 

1. Tux 


| 


25 un POET RX. N | 


1. The F o RID, | 


Than which none is more proper to 
the Bathos, as Flowers which are the 
Loweſt of vegetables are the moſt. 
Gaudy, and do many times grow in 
great . Plenty at the bottom of Ponds 
and T)itches. 

A fine Writer in this kind preſents 
you with the following Pokie 2 . -- 


The Groves appear all dreſs with Wreaths of Beis Po: 
Flowers, ems. p. 2. 

And from their Leaves drop aromatic Showers, 
Whoſe fragrant Heads in myſtic Tuines above, 

Exchang'd their Sweets, and mix d with . 
Kiſſes, 
4 if the willing Branches ſtroue 
To beautify and ſhade the Grobe. 


(Which indeed moſt Branches do) But 
this is. ſtill excell'd by our Laureat. 


Dian in Branches twin'd compoſe the Grove, Guardian. 
And ſhoot and ſpread, and blofſom into Love. 
The trembling Palms their mutual Vows repeat, 

And bending Poplars lending Poplars meet, 


he 


— 


64 Of the Art of SmrING | 


* — —_ 


The diftane Platanes ſeems to preſs more nigh, 
And to the Ming Alders, Alders figh. 


Hear alſo our Homer. 


His Robe of State is form'd of Light refin'd, 
An endleſs Train of Luſtre ſpreads behind. 
His Throne of bright compacted Glory made» 
With Pearl celeſtial, and with Gems inlaid : 
Whence Floods of Joy, and Seas of Splendor flow, 
On all th Angelic gazing Throng below. 


2. The PER T Ste. 


This does in as peculiar a manner 
become the low in Wit, as a Pert 
Air does the low in Stature. Mr. 
Thomas Brown, the Author of the 
London Spy, and all the Spies and 
Trips in general, are herein to be di- 
ligently ſtudy'd: In Verſe, Mr. Cibber's 
Prologues. 

But the Beauty and Energy of 
it is never ſo conſpi as when 
it is employd in Modernizing and A- 
dapting to the Taſte of the Times the 
Works of the Antients. This we right- 
ly phraſe Doing them into Eil, 
= 


—— a — - — 


—_ ] ᷣ 


in POETRY. 


and making them Engliſh; two Ex- 
preſſions 2 great Propriety, the one 
denoting our Neg/ef of the Manner 
how, the other the Force and Compul- 

with which, it is brought about. 
It is by Virtue of this Stile that Tacitus 
talks like a Coffee-Howſe Politician, 
Foſephus like theBritiſhG azeteer, Tul- 
ly is as ſhort and ſmart as Sexeca or 
Mr. Afeill, Marcus Aurelius is excel- 
lent at Snipſnap, and honeſt Thomas a 
Kempis as Prim and Polite as any 
Preacher at Court. 


3: TE ArAaMoDpe Stile, 


Which is fine by being new, and has 
this Happineſs attending it, that it is 
as durable and extenſive as the Poem 
itſelf, Take ſome Examples of it, in 
the Deſcription of the Sun in a 
Mourning Coach upon the Death of 
Q. Mary. 


See Phœbus now, as once for Phaeton, on; 


Has mask'd his Face; and put deep Mourning A. 


Dark Clouds his fable Chariot do ſurround, 


And the dull Steeds ſtalk o'er the melancholy 
Round. 


F 5 


65 


Pal, - 


66 Of the Art of SiyxinG 
Of Prince Arrbur's Soldiers drinking. 
While rich Burgundian Wine, and bright 


Pr. A. Champaign, 
p. 15. Chaſe from their Minds the Terrors of the Main. 


(Whence we alſo learn, that Bur- 


gundy and Champaign make a Man on 


Shore deſpiſe a Storm at Sea.) 


Of the Almighty encamping his Regi- 
| ments. 
Bla. He ſunk a vaſt capacious deep, 
oy be. 2k Wi here he bis liquid Regiments does keep. 
Thither the Waves file off, and make their way, 
To form the mighty Body of the Sea ; 
There they incamp, and in their Station ſtand, 


F.ntrench'd in Works of Rock, and Lines of 
Sand. | 


Of two Armies on the Point of engag- 


ing. 


. Armies ave the Cards which Loth muſt play; 

At leaſt come off a Saver if you may : 
Throw boidly at the Sum the Gods have fer , 
i veſe on your Side will all their Fortunes bet. 


All 


— DD : — — 


in POETRY. 


All perfectly agreeable to the pre- 
ſent — and beſt Faſhions of this 
| our Metropolis. 

| Bur the principal Branch of the 
Alamode is the PRURIENT, a Stile 


greatly advanc'd and honour'd of late 
by the practiſe of Perſons of the fir ff 
Quality, and by the encouragement of 
the Ladies not unſucceſsfully introduc'd 
even into the Drawing-Room. Indeed 
its incredible Progreſs and Congqueſts 
| may be compar'd to thoſe of the great Se- 
| ſoſtris, and are every where known by the 
ſame Marks, the Images of the Genital 
Parts of Men or Women. It conſiſts 
wholly of Metaphors drawn from two 
moſt fruitful Sources or Springs, the very 


Pathos of the human Body, that is to 


2 2 K X X *% % *% X* * 
ſa and * X XX XXX XXX 


jatus Magnus {achrymabilis. * * 


” DD WD THI DS DDS 6 


* * „„ „ A „ And 


ſelling of Bargains, and double En- 
tendre, and Kis ,,̈e, and 0agundicut : 
all derived from the ſaid Sources. 

4. Tu Finicar, which conſiſts of 
the moſt curious, affected, mincing Me- 
taphors, and partakes of the laſt 
mentioned. 


F 2 As 


th 


68 Ofthe A 


rt of SINKING 


As this, of a Brook dry'd by the Sun. 


Won by the Summer's importuning Ray. 


— Jeb. Ty eloping Stream did from her Channel 
p. 26. 


ay. 
And with enticing Sun-beams ſtole away. 
Of an eaſy Death, 


1p. 23. hen watchful Death ſhall on his Harveſt hok, 
And fee thee ripe with Age, invite the Hook ; 
He'll gently cut thy bending Stalk, and thee 
Lay kindly in the Grave, his Granary. 


Of Trees in a Storm. 


Dem. Oaks with extended Arms the Winds defy, 
The Tempeſt ſees their Strength, and fighs, 
and paſles by. 


Of Water ſimmering over the Fire. 


Ann. The ſparkling Flames raiſe Water to a Smile, 


in | 2 Tet the pleas d Liquur pines, aud leſſens all the 
C. r 


6. p. 224. 


white. 


5. LASTI V, I ſhall place the Cu u- 
BROUsS, Which moves heavily under a 
Load of Metaphors, and draus after it 
a long Train of Words. 

AND 


POETRY. 


AnD the Busxin, or Stately, 
frequently and with great Felici- 
ty mix'd with the Former. For as 
the firſt is the proper Engine to depreſs 
what is High, ſo is the ſecond to raiſe 
what is Baſe and Low to a ridiculous 
Viſibility : When both theſe can be 
done at once, then is the Bathos in 
Perfection; as when a Man is ſet with 
his Head downward, and his Breech 
upright, his Degradation is compleat : 
One End of him is as high as ever, only 
that End is the wrong one. Will not eve- 
ry true Lover of the Profund be delight- 
ed to behold the moſt vulgar and low 
Actions of Life exalted in this Manner ? 


Who knocks at the Door? 


For whom thus rudely pleads my loud-tongu'd Gate, 
That he may enter? 


See who is there ? 


Advance the fringed Curtain of thy Eyes, 
And tell me who comes yonder. 


Shut the Door. 


The woodden Guardian of our Privacy 
Quick on its Axle turn. 


F 3 ; Bring 


70 


— 


Theob 
Doub 
ſtreſs 


of the Art of SinxING 


Bring my Cloaths. 


Bring me what Nature, Taylor to the Bear, | 
To Man himſelf deny'd : She gave me Cold, | 
But would not give me Cloaths, = | 


Light the Fire, 


Bring forth ſome Remnant of Promethean Theft, 
Quick to expand th inclement Air congeal d 
By Boreas's rude Breath, —— 


Snuff the Candle. | 


Yon Luminary Amputation needs, | 
Thus ſhall you ſave its half-extingniſ#'d Life. | 


Open the Letter. 


leDi- Wax ! render up thy Truſt. — 
Uncork the Bottle, and chip the Bread. 


Apply thine Engine to the ſpungy Door, 
Set Bacchus from his glaſſy Priſon free, 
And ſtrip white Ceres of her nut-brown Coat. 


* — * 
* 


— 


APPEN DIVX. 


CHAP. MI. 
A Project for the Advancement of 
the Bathos. 
H US have I (my dear Country- 
| men) with incredible Pains and 
Diligence, diſcover'd the hidden Sources 
of the Bathos, or as I may ſay broke 
open the Abyfles of this Great Deep. 
And having now eſtabliſh'd the good 
and wholeſome Laws, what remains 
but that all true Moderns with their 
utmoſt Might do proceed to put the 
ſame in execution? In order whereto, L 
think I ſhall in the ſecond place highly 
deſerve of my Country, by propoſing 
ſuch a Scheme, as may facilitate this 
great End. 

As our Number is confeſſedly far 
ſuperior to that of the Enemy, there 
ſeems nothing wanting but Una- 
nimity among our ſelves. It is there- 
fore humbly offer'd, that all and every 
Individual of the Bathos do enter into 
a firm Aſſociation, and incorporate into 


4 ons 


— 


— 


Of the Art of SINKING 


one Regular Body, whereof every 
Member, even the meaneſt, will ſome 
way contribute to the Support of the 
whole; in like manner as the weakeſt 
Reeds when join'd in one Bundle, be- 
come infrangible. 'To which end ourArt 
ought to be put upon the ſame foot 
with other Arts of this Age. The 
vaſt Improvement of modern Manu- 
factures arifeth from their being di- 
vided into ſeveral Branches, and par- 
cel'd out to ſeveral Trades: For in- 
ſtance, in Clock-making, one Artiſt 
makes the Balance, another the Spring, 
another the Crown-Wheels, a fourth 

the Caſe, and the principal Workman 
| puts all together; To this OEconomy 
we owe the Perfection of our modern 
Watches; and doubtleſs we alſo might 
that of our modern Poetry and Rheto- 
Tic, were the ſeveral Parts branched 
out in the like manner. 

NoTHIiNG is more evident than 
that divers Perſons, no other way re- 
markable, have each a ſtrong Diſpoſiti- 
on to the Formation of ſome particular 
Trope or Figure. Ariſtotle faith, that 
the Hyperbole is an Ornament of Speech 
fit for jozmg Men of Quality ; ac- 

cord.ngly 


in PoE TRV. 

cordingly we find in thoſe Gentlemen a 
— P toward it, which 
is marvellouſly improv'd by travelling. 
Soldiers alſo and Seamen are very happy 
in the ſame Figure. The Perzphrafes 
or Circumiucution is the peculiar Talent 
of Country Farmers, the Proverb and 
Apologue of old Men at their Clubs, 
the Ellipſis or Speech by half-words 
of Miniſters and Politicians, the Apo- 
fiopeſis of Conrtiers, the Littole or 
Diminution of Ladies, Whiſperers and 
Backbiters ; and the Anadyploſis of 
Common Cryers and Hazwkers, who by 
redoubling the ſame Words, perſuade 
People to buy their Oyſters, green 
Haſtings, or new Ballads. Epithets may 
be found in great plenty at Billinſgate, 
Sarcaſm and Irony learn d upon the 
Vater, and the Epipbonema or Excla- 
mation frequently from the Bear- 
arden, and as frequently from the 

ear him of the Houſe of Commons. 

Noweach man applying his wholeTime 
and Genius upon his particular Figure, 
would doubtleſs attain to Perfection; and 
when each became incorporated and 
ſworn into the Society, (as hath been 
propos d;) a Poet or Orator would have 


no 


. 73 


74 Of the Art of SINKING . 


no more to do, but to ſend to the 
particular Traders in each Kind; to 
the Metaphorift for his Allegories, to 
the Similc-maker for his Compariſons, 
to the Troniſt for his Sarcaſmes, to the 
Apothegmatiſt for his Sentences, Oc. 
whereby a Dedication or Speech would 
be compos'd in a Moment, the ſuperior 
Artiſt baving nothing to do but to put 

I THEREFORE propoſe that there be 
contrived with all convenient Diſpatch, 
at the publick Expence, a Rhetorical 
Cheſt of Dratuers, conſiſting of three 
Stories, the higheſt for the De/aberative, 
the middle for the Demonſtrative, and 
the loweſt for the Judicial. Theſe 
ſhall be divided into Laci or Places, 
being Repoſitories for Matter and Ar- 
gument in the ſeveral Kinds of Oration 
or Writing; and every Drawer ſhall 
again be ſub-divided into Cells, re- 
ſembling thoſe of Cabinets for Rarities. 
The Apartment for Peace or Var, 
and that of the Liberty of the Preſs, 
may in a very few Days be fill'd with 
ſeveral Arguments perfeiZly new ; and 
the Vitwperative Partition will as cafily 


be 


in PoETRy. 


* 


be repleniſh'd with a moſt choice Col- 


le&ion, entirely of the Growth and 


Manufacture of the preſent Age. Every 
Compoſer will ſoon be ta 


ught the Uſe 
all 


of this Cabinet, and how to 
the Regiſters of it, which will be 
drawn out much in the Manner of thoſe 
of an Organ. 
Tus Keys of it muſt be kept in 
honeſt Hands, by ſome Reverend Pre- 
_ or oh yr Officer, of unqueſtion'd 
ty ion to ent 
— — 
v wi ent inſt an 
Miſchief which — otherwiſe be 
apprehended from it 


Ap being lodg'd in ſuch Hands, 
it may be at diſcretion er ous by 
the Day, to ſeveral great Orators in 
both Houſes ; from whence it is to be 
hopd much Profit or Gain will alſo 
accruet o our Society. 


CHAP. 


76 Of the Art of SINKING 8 


CHAP. XIV. 


How to make Dedications, Panegy- 
ricks or Satyrs, and of the Colours 
of Honourable and Diſhonourable. 


OW of what Neceſſity the fore- 
going Project may prove, will 
appear from this ſingle Conſideration, 
that nothing is of equal conſequence 
to the Succeſs of our Works, as Speed 
and Diſpatch. Great pity it is, that 
ſolid Brains are not, like other ſolid 
Bodies, conſtantly endow'd with a Fe- 
locity in ſinking, proportion d to their 
FHeavineſs : For it is with the Flowers 
of the Bat bos as with thoſe of Nature, 
which if the careful Gardener brings 
not haſtily to the Market in the Morning, 
muſt unproftably periſh and wither be- 
fore Night. And of all our Productions 
none is ſo ſhort-liv'd as the Dedication 
and Panegyric, which are often but 
the Praiſe of a Day, and become by 
the next, utterly uſeleſs, improper, in- 
decent and falfe. This is the more to 
be lamented, inaſmuch as they are the 


very 


W — 
— 
: 


in POETRY. 


— 


77 


depends that Gain or Profit, which 
muſt ſtill be remember'd to be the whole 
end of our Writers and Speakers. 

We ſhall therefore employ this 
Chapter in ſhewing the quickeſt Me- 
thod of compoſing them ; after which 
we will teach a ſhort Way to Epick 
Poetry. And theſe being confeſſedly the 
Works of moſt Importance and Difh- 
culty, it is preſum d we may leave the 
reſt to each Authors own Learning or 
Practice. 

FIRST of Panegyrick: Every Man 
is honourable, who is ſo by Law, 
Cuſtom or Title; The Publick are 
better Judges of what is honourable, 
than private Men. The Virtues of 
great Men, like thoſe of Plants, are 
inherent in them whether they are 
exerted or not ; and the more ſtrongly 
inherent the leſs they are exerted ; 
as a Man is the more rich the leſs he 
ſpends. 

ALI great Miniſters, without either 
private or ceconomical Virtue, are vir- 
tuous by their Poſts ; liberal and gene- 
rous upon the Publick Money, provident 
upon Parliamentary Supplies, juſt by 

paying 


very two Sorts whereon in a manner 


—— * 


8 


2 


—— 


Of the Art of SiNKING 


ing Publeck Intereſt, couragious 
—4 5 i by the Fleets and 
Armies, magnificent upon the Publick 
Expences, and prudent by Publick 
Sacceſs. They have by their Office, a 
Right to a ſhare of the Publick Stock of 
Virtues ; beſides they are by Preſcription 
immemorial inveſted in all the cele- 
brated Virtues of their Predeceſſors in 
the ſame Stations, eſpecially thoſe of 
their own Anceſtors. 

As to what are commonly call'd 
the Colours of Honourable and Diſ- 
honourable, they are various in different 
Countries: In this they are Blue, 
Green and Red. But foraſmuch as the 
Duty we owe to the Publick doth often 
require that we ſhould put ſome things 
in a ſtrong Light, aad throw a Shade 
over others, I ſhall explain the Method 
of turning a vicious Man into a Hero. 

Tur firft and chief Rule is he 
Golden Rule of Transformation, which 
confiſts in converting Vices into their 
borderiug Virtues. A man who is a 
Spendthrift and will not pay a juſt 


Debt, may have his Injuſtice ran 


form d into Liberality ; Cowardice may 
be metamorphos d into Prudence; In- 
| temperance 


” 


in POET KT. 79 
| —— into 4 — Nature and good 
Fellowſh Corruption into Patrio- 
| tiſm, 7 Lewdneſs into Tenderneſs 
| and Facili 
| THE Second is the Rule of Contra- 
ries : It is certain the leſs a Man is en- 
du'd with any Virtue, the more need 
he has to have it plentifully beſtow'd, 
eſpecially thoſe good Qualities of which 
the World generally believes he hath 
none at all: For he al hank a 
Man for giving him that which he has ? 
Tus Reverſe of theſe Precepts will 
ſerve for Satire, wherein we are ever 
to remark, that whoſo loſeth his Place, 
or becomes out of Favour with the Go- 
vernment, hath forfeited his Share of 
Publick Praiſe and Honour. Therefore 
the truly-publick-fpirited Writer ought 
in Duty to ſtrip him whom the Go- 
vernment — ſtripp d: Which is the real 
poetical Fuſtice 4; this A ge For a full 
Colle&ion of Topics and Epithets to 
be uſed in the Praiſe and Diſpraiſe of 
Miniſterial and Unminiſterial Perſons, I 
refer to our Rhetorical Cabinet ; con- 
cluding with an earneſt Exhortation to 
all my Brethren, to obſerve the O 
here laid down; the Neglect of _> 
hat 


3o 


Of the Art of SinKiNG 


— 


hath coſt ſome of them their Ears in a 


Pillory. 


— 


CHAPFP.:XV. 
A Receipt to make an Epic Poem. 


N Epic Poem, the Criticks agree, 

is the greateſt Work Human Na- 
ture is capable of. They have already 
laid down many mechanical Rules for 
Compoſitions of this Sort, but at the 
ſame time they cut off almoſt all Under- 
takers from the Poſſibility of ever per- 
forming them; for the firſt Qualifica- 


tion they unanimouſly require in a Poet, 


is a Genius. I ſhall here endeavour (for 
the Benefit of my Countrymen) to make 
it manifeſt, that Epick Poems may be 
made it hout a Genius, nay without 
Learning or much Reading. This muſt 
neceſſarily be of great Uſe to all thoſe 
who confeſs they never Read, and of 
whom the World is convinc'd they ne- 
ver Learn. What Moliere obſerves of 
making a Dinner, that any Man can do 
it with Money, and if a profeſs'd Cool: 
cannot do it without he has his Art 

tor 


| 1 ET — OF 
for nothing; the ſame may be ſaid of 
making a Poem, tis eaſily brought a- 

| bout by him that Har a Genfus, but the 
Skijl:lies in doing it without one. In 


parſunnee of this End, I fall preſent | 
the Reader with a plain and certain Re- 

cipe, by which any Author in the Ba- 
thur may be qualified for this grand 


Performance. 
$ | For the Fable. 
TAx out of any old Poem, Hiſto- 
» ry-book, Romance, or Legend, (for 
Inſtance Gefyy' of Monmouth or Don 
Belianis of Greece) thoſe Parts of Story 
which afford mioſt Scope for /ong De- 
ſcriptions : Put theſe Pieces together, 
and throw all the Adyentures you fancy 
into one Tak. Then take a Hero. 
| whom you may chufe for the Sound of 
baus Name, and put him into the midſt 
| of theſe Adventures: There let him 
work, for twelve Books ; at the end 
of Which you may take him out, ready, | 
p_—_ to conquer or to marry ; it ] 
eing neceflary that the Coticluſfion of 
an Epick Poem be” fortunate, 


| | „ 7 


* 
a —_ — 
— CG —-—-—-᷑—-— — — 2 —— . ' 
_ R 


Of the Art of SNG 


82 


To make an Epiſode. 


Taxz any remaining Adventure of 


your former Collection, in which you. 


could no way involve your Hero; or 
any unfortunate Accident that was too 
528 be thrown away; and it will 

of Uſe; apply d to any other Perſon; 
who may be loſt and evaporate in the 
Courſe of the Work, without the leaſt 
Damage to the Compoſition. 


For the Moral and Allegory. 


THest you may extract out of the 
Fable afterwards, at your leifure: Be 
ſure you ſtrain them ſufficiently, 


For the Manners. 
Fox thoſe of the Hero, take all the 


beſt Qualities. you can find in the 


moſt celebrated Heroes of Antiquity ; 
if they will not be reduced to a Con- 
faſtency, lay em all on a H. 


| eap upon 
him. But be ſure they are Qualities 
which your Patron would be thought 
to have; and to prevent any Miſtake 


which the World may be ſubje& to, 


ſelect from the Alphabet thoſe Capital 
Letters that compoſe his Name, and ſet 
them 


in POETRY. 


83 


them at the Head of a Dedication before 
your Poem. However, do not abſolutely 
obſerve the exact Quantity of theſt 
Virtues, it not being determin d whether 
or no it be neceſlary for the Hero of 
a Poem to be an honeſt Man. For 


theUnder-Charaters, gather them from 


Homer and Virgil, and change the 
Names as occaſion ſerves. 


For the Machines. 
Taxt of Deities, Male «ad Fe- 


male, as many as you can uſe. Separate 


them into two equal Parts, and keep 
Jupiter in the middle. Let Funo put 


him in a Ferment, and Venus mollify 
him. Remember on all occaſions to 


make uſe of Volatile Mercury. If you 
have need of Devils, draw them out of 
Milton's Paradiſe, and extract your 
Spirits from Taſſo. The Uſe of theſe 
Machines is evident; for fince no Epick 


Poem can poſſibly ſubſiſt without them, 


the wiſeſt way is to reſerve them for 
your greateſt Neceſſities, When you 
cannot extricate your Hero by any 
human means, or your ſelf by your 
own Wit, ſeek Relief from Heav en, 
and the Gods will do your buſineſs very 

G 2 readily, 


TY 


84 


Of the Art of SinxING 


readily. This is according to the di- 

rect Preſcription of Horace in his Art 

of Poetry. 

Nec Deus interfit, nifi dignus vindice Nodus 
Inciderit. 

That is to ſay, A Poet ſhould never 


call upon the Gods for their Aſſiſtance, 
but when he is in great Perplexity. 


For the Deſcriptions. 


For a Tempeſt. Take Eurus, Ze- 
phyr, Auſter and Boreas, and caſt them 
together in one Verſe: Add to theſe 
of Rain, Lightning and of Thunder 
(the loudeſt you can) quantum ſufficit. 
Mix your Clouds and Billows well 
together 'till they foam, and thicken 
your Deſcription here and there with a 
Quickſand. Brew your 'Tempeſt well 
in your Head, before you ſet it a 
blowing. 

Fok a Battle. Pick a large Quan- 
tity of Images and Deſcriptions from 
Homer's Iliads, with a Spice or two 
of Virgil, and if there remain any 
Overplus, you may lay them by for a 
Skirmiſh. Seaſon it well with Similes, 
and it will make an Excellent Battle. 


Fo 


- = * — — — — — 


- = a — —— ——— — — 


in POE TRV. 


Fox a Burning Town. If ſuch a 
Deſcription be neceſſary, (becauſe it is 
certain there is one in Firgil,) Old 
Troy is ready burnt to your Hands. 
But if you fear that would be thought 
borrow'd, A Chapter or two of the 
Theory of the Conflagration, well cir- 
cumſtanced, and done into Verſe, will 
be a good Succedaneum. 

As for Similes and Metaphors, they 
may be found all over the Creation ; 
the moſt ignorant may gather them, 
but the Danger is in appiying them. 
For this adviſe with your Bookſeller. 


C H A P. XVI. 


A Projeft for the Advancement of the 
Stage. 


T may be thought that we ſhould 
not wholly omit the Drama, which 
makes ſo great and ſo lucrative a Part 
of Poetry. But this Province is fo 
well taken care of, by the preſent Ma- 
nagers of the Theatre, that it is perfectly 
needleſs to ſuggeſt to them any other 


Me- 


G 3 


"Of the Art of SINKING ' 


Methods than they have already practis d 
for the Advancement of the Barhos. 

He Rx therefore, in the name of all 
our Brethren, let me return outSfincere 
and humble Thanks to the Moſt Auguſt 
Mr. B--t--n B—th, the Moſt Serene 
Mr. I--ll--m Menlzs, and the Moſt 
Undaunted Mr. C-//-g C-bb-r ; of whom, 
let it be known when the People of 
this Age ſhall be Anceſtors, and to all 
the . of our Succeſſors, that to 
this preſent day they continue to 
Ou. even their own Out-avines : 
And when the inevitable Hand of 
{weeping Time ſhall have bruſh'd off 
all the Works of To dar, may this 
Teſtimony of a Co-remporary Critick 
to their Fame, be extended as far as 
Te- morrotr 

Vr r, if to ſo wiſe an Adminiſtration 
it de poſſible any thing can be added, 
it is that more ample and comprehenſive 
Scheme which Xlr. Dun g and Mr. 
Gildor, (the two greateſt Criticks and 
Retormers then living) made publick 
in the Year 1720. in a Project fign'd 
with their Names, and dated the 2d 
4 February. I cannot better conclude 

an by preſenting the Reader with 
* Subſtance of :t 
| 1. Ir 


in PorTRY. © 


'87 


1. Ir is 'd that the two 
Theatres be in ted intoon: Com- 
pany ; that the Royal Academy of 
Mufick be added to them as an Or- 
cheftra ; and that Mr. Figg with his 
Prize-fighters, and Violante with the 
—_ be admitted in Part- 

ip. . 

2. Thar a ſpacious Building be 
erected at the Publick Expence, capable 
of containing at leaſt ten thouſand 
Spectators, which is become abſolutely 
neceſſary by the great addition of 
Children and Nurſes to the Au- 
dience, ſince the new Entertainments. 
That there be a Stage as large as 
the Athenian, which was near ninety 
thouſand Geometrical Paces ſquare, and 
—_ Diviſions for the two Houſes 

Parliament, my Lords the Fudges, 
the honourable the Directors of the 
Academy, and the Court of Aldermen, 
who ſhall all have their Places frank. 


3. Ir Weſtminſter Hall be not al- 


lotted to this Service, (which by reaſon 
of its Proximity to the two Chambers 
of Parliament above mention'd, ſeems 
not altogether improper ; ) it is left to 
the Wiſdom of the Nation whetker 
Somerſet Houſe may not be demol ſh d. 

64 and 


3 Of the Art of Bugs [SINKING 


and a Theatre built upon Ie ,upon that Scite, 
which lies convenient. to receive Spec- 
tators from the County of Surrey, who 
may be wafted thither by Water-Car- 
Triage, d by all Projectors the 
whatſoever. To this may be 
added, that the River Thames 2 
in the readieſt manner convey 
eminent Perſonages from Courts be- 
vond the Seas, who may be drayn either 
5 Curioſity to behold ſome of our 
moſt — th Pieces, or by Affection 
to ſee their Countrymen the Harlequins 
and Eunuchs; Of which convenient 
notice may be given for two or three 
Months before, in the Publick Prints. 
4. LRH Ar the Theatre aboveſaid 
be 2 —— with a- fair Quadrangle 
of Buildings, fitted for the Accom- 
modation of decay d Critics and 
Poets ; out of whom Six of the moſt 
Aged (their Age to be computed from 
th: Year-wherein their firſt Work was 
publiſfid) ſhall be elected to manage the 
Afairs of the Seciety, provided never- 
theleſs that the Laureus for the time 
being, may be always one. The Head 
or Preſident over all, (to prevent Diſ- 
putes, but too frequent, among the 
Learned) ſha!! de the o/deft Poet and 
Critick 


, 


— — 


n PopTEY.: 


. 
- 
* 


K«„—Tä ——— , 

_ be found in the whole 
und. * 

5: Tus F 

odd in 2 of the 

drangle, and to attend the Perfors 

the Poets, dwelling under 


their Shoes, and he Ike. 
reſſes are to make their Beds, 


their Linnen. - 
6. A LARGE Room ſhall 


- 
o x K ? 
* 


this Room ſhall be a round Table for the 
Conncil of . ſit . deliberate 
on the Merits Ss ajority 
ſhall determine: the Diſpute ; 2 if it 
ſhould happen that three and three 
ſhould be of each Side, the Preſident 
ſhall have a caſting Voice, unleſs where 
the Contention may run fo high as to 
_— a Deciſion by Single Combat: © 
Ir may be convenient to place 

. Council of $1x in ſome conſpicuous 
Situation in the where after 
the manner uſually practiſed by Com- 
poſers in Muſick, they may give Sigur 
(before ſettled and agreed upon) of 
Diſlike or Approbation. In 2 


90 Of the-Art of :SinxING 


F ——_— 


— 


of theſe S Signs the whole ole Audience ſhall 

be requir clap or 4 that the 

11 ought to be pl ery 2a 
to p eas | 

8. Iris ſuhmitted whether it would 
not be proper to the Council 
of S1x;by ſome particular Habit or 
Gown of an honourable Shape and 
Colour, to which might be added a 
ſquare Cap and a white Wand. 

9. T Har to prevent — Ad- 
reſſes making away with their 

a competent Proviſion be allow d for 
the Nurture of them, who ſhall for that 
reaſon be deem d the Children of the 
Society; and that they may be educated 
2 to the Genius of their Parents, 
the Actreſſes ſhall declare upon 
Oath * far as their Memory will allow) 
the true Names and Qualities of their 
ſeveral Fathers. A private Gentleman? 
Son ſhall at the Publick Expence be 
brought up a Page to attend the Council 
of SIX. A more ample Proviſion ſhall 
be made for the Son of a Poet ; and a 
greater ſtill for the Son of a Critick. 

10. Is it be diſcover d that any 
Actreſs is got with Child, during the 
Interludes' of any Play, wherein ſhe 
Lath a part, it ſhall be reckon'd a neg- 


lea 


—— —äöͥ—̃— — — — 


. POET 
lect of ber Buſineſs, and the ſhall forfeit 
accordingly. If any Actor for the future 
ſhall commit Murder, except upon the 
Stage, he ſhall be left to the Laws of 
the Land ; the like is to be underſtood 
of Robbery and Theft. In all other 
Caſes, particularly in thoſe of Debt, it 
is propos d that this, like the other 
Courts of Whitehall and St. Fames's, 
may be held. a Place of Priviledge 
And whereas © hos been found, hs an 
Obligation to ſatisfy pauitry Credjtors 
has been a 3 to Men of 
Letters, if any Perſon of Quality or 
others ſhall ſend for any Poet or Critick 
of this Society to any remote Quarter of 
the Town, the ſaid Poet or Critick 
ſhall freely paſs and repaſs without 
being liable to an Arraſt. 71 
11. Tur fore- mention d Scheme in 
its ſeveral Regulations may be ſupported 
by Profits ariſing from every third 
Night throughout the Lear. And as 
it would be hard to ſuppoſe that ſo 
many Perſons could live without any 
Food (tho from the former Courſe of 
their Lives, a gery little will be ſuf- 
ficient) the Maſters of Calculation will, 
we believe, agree, that out of thoſe 
8 . Pro- 


#_Oſtte o+ Of the Arte Stain, © Se. 


Profits, the ſkid Perſons in 
Ly in a ſober and manner. 
We * venture to 2 that 
y the proper azines o 
Thunder and 1 Bit but Paint 
Diet-Drinks, Spit ng Bus, and all 
other Neceſſaries 2 , may in like 
manner be "ded for. 

12. 1x ſome the Articles may at 
bt view ſeem liable to Objections, 
particularly thoſe that give ſo vaſt a 
Power to the Council of Stx (which 
is indeed larger than any intruſted to 
the Great Officers of State) this may 
be -obviated, by ſwearing thoſe Six 
Perſons of his Majeſty s Privy Council, 


kt be ſub- 


and obliging them to every thing 
of Moment previ at that moſt 
honourable Board. 


Vale & Fruere. 


MAR. SCRIB. 


CONTENTS 


10 rn e 


B A TH 0 8. 


HA 7 the Bathos, or Profund, 

is the natural 1 of Man, 
and in particular, of he hd 
of the Bathos, 0s, phy fal, 


— — 


That there is an Art of the Dan 5 
Profunß td. — 

Of the true Genius for the muted 
and by what it ir conftituted. 17 

Of the ſeveral Kinds of Genius's in 
the Profund, aud the Marks a 
Charatter of each. 


Of the Pros when it conſt in the 


| Of the — confetti in in the Giro: 
 fRtances, and of 0 e on 


Periphraſe in generai. 


of 


r 


The CONTENTS. 


of Imitation, and the manner 4 
imitating. | 
Of Tropes and Figures ; and firſt 1 
the variegatine, confuſing, and re- 
cer ig Figures. , — — 43 
The Figures continued : Of the Mag- 
nifyi ing and we Figures. 51 
and the ſeveral Sorts 

of Style of the preſent Age. 59 
A Project for the 1 of ” 

Bathos. — — 

= to make Dedications, Panegy ries 
or Satyrs, and of the Colours of 
Honourable and Diſhonourable. 76 
A Receipt to make an Epick Poem. $0 
A Projef for the Advancement of the 
Stage. — — 85 


WIS 7 V 
55 — 2 


wt 


— 


2328080606 are * 


CAD E N U 


AND 


N 


f | — 


Written Anno 1713. 


T HE Shepherds and the Nymphs were ſeen 
Pleading before the Cyprian Queen. 


The Council for the Fair began, 
Accuſing that falſe Creature, Man. 


The Brief with weighty Crimes was charg d, 


On which the Pleader much enlarg d; 
{ 


| That 


- << 


2 Cadenus and Vane ſſa. 


— 


That Cupid now has loſt his Art, 
Or blunts the Point of ev'ry Dart; 
His Altar now no longer ſmokes, 
His Mother's Aid no Vouth invokes: | 
This tempts Free-thinkers to refine, 

And bring in doubt their Pow'r divine ; 

Now Love is dwindled to Intrigue, 

And Marriage grown a Money-League. 

Which Crimes aforeſaid (with her Leave) 

Were (as he humbly did concei ve) 

Againſt our Sov'reign Lady's Peace, 

Againſt the Statutes in that Caſe, 

Againſt her Dignity and Crown : 


Then pray d an Anſwer, and fat down, | 


The Nymphs with Scorn beheld their Focs : 


When the Defendant's Council role. 


And, 


K II 


— — — 


Cadenus and V aneſſa. 3 


6— 


And, what no Lawyer ever lack'd, 
With Impudence own'd all the Fact. 
| But, what the gentleſt Heart would Ver, 
Laid all the Fault on t'other Sex. 
That modern Love is no ſuch Thing 
As what thoſe antient Poets fing ; 
A Fire celeſtial, chaſte, refin'd, 
Concety'd and kindled in the Mind, 
Which having found an equal Flame, 


Unites, and both become the fame, 


In different Breaſts together burn, 
Together both to Aſhes turn. 

But Women now feel no ſuch Fire, 
And only know the groſs Defire; 
Their Paſſions move in lower Spheres, 
Where-c'er Caprice or Folly ſtœers. 

A Dog, a Parrot, or an Ape, 

Or tome woric Brute in human Shape, 


Engroſs 


— 


4 | Cadenus and V aneſſa. 


Engroſs the Fancies of the Fair, 
'The few ſoft Moments they can ſpare, 


From Viſits to receive and pay, 

From Scandal, Politicks, and Play, 
From Fans, and Flounces, and Brocades, 
From Equipage and Park-Paradc- 
From all the thouſand Female Toys, 
From every Trifle that employs 

The out or inſide of their Heads, 


Between their Toylets and their Beds. 


In a dull Stream, which moving ſlow 
You hardly ſee the Current flow, 
If a finall Breeze obſtructs the Courſe, 


It whirls about for Want of Force, 


And in its narrow Circle gathers 


Nothing but Chaff, and Straws, and Feathers : 


The | 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 5 


The Current of a Female Mind 
Stops thus, and turns with ev*ry Wind; 


«+ 7 8 
2 
. 
2 
* 


Thus whirling round, together draws 


Fools, Fops, and Rakes, for Chaff and Straws. 


Hence we conclude, no Women's Hearts 
Are won by Virtue, Wit, and Parts; 
Nor are the Men of Senſe to blame, 

For Breaſts inca pable of Flame; 


The Fault muſt on the Nymphs be plac'd, 


Grown ſo corrupted in their Taſte. 


The Pleader having ſpoke his beſt, 
Had Witneſs ready to atteſt, 


Who fairly could on Oath depoſe, 
When Queitions on the Fact aroſe, 


That ey'ry Article was true; 


Mer further thoſe Deponents knew - 


Therefore 


_—_— — — 


6 Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


— 


Therefore he humbly would inſiſt, 
The Bill might be with Coſts diſmiſt. 


The Cauſe appear'd of fo much Weight, 


That Venus, from the Judgment-Seat, 
Deſir'd them not to talk ſo loud, 


Elfe ſhe muſt interpoſe a Cloud: 
For if the Heav'nly Folk ſhould know 


Theſe Pleadings in the Courts below, 
That Mortals here difdain to love; 


She ne'er could thew her Face above. 

For Gods, their Betters, are too wile 

To value that which Men deſpiſe. 

And then, ſaid ſhe, my Son and 1 

Muſt ſtrole in Air *twixt Earth and Sky; 
Or elſe, ſhut out from Heaven and Earth, 


Fly to the Sea, my Place of Birth; 


There 


— — 


-- 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 7 
425 | 


RA 


There live with daggl'd Mermazds pent, 
And keep on Fiſh perpetual Lenz. 


But ſince the Caſe appear'd ſo nice, 
She thought it beſt to take Advice. 
The Muſes, by their King's Permiſſion, 
Tho' Foes to Love, attend the Seſſion, 
| And on the Right Hand took their Places 
In Order; on the Left, the Graces : 
To whom ſhe might her Doubts propoſe 
On all Emergencics that roſe. 
The Muſes oft were ſeen to frown ; 
The Graces half aſham'd look'd down; 
And twas obſery'd, there were but few 
Of cither Sex, among the Crew, 
Whom ſhe or her Aſſeſſors knew. 
The Goddeſs ſoon began to ſec 


—— —— 


Things were not ripe for a Decree, 
gere 


And 


* - 
* 


Vaneſſa. 


Cadenu and 


| 
4 
| 
l 


And ſaid ſhe muſt conſult her Books, 
The Lovers Fleta's, Brattons, Cotes. 
Firſt to a dapper Clerk ſhe beckon*d, 
To turn to Ovid, Book the Second; 
She then referr'd them to a Place 

In Virgil (vide Dido's Cale: ) 

As for Tibullus's Reports, 

They never paſs'd for Law in Courts; 


— 


For Cowley's Briefs, and Pleas of Waller, 


Still their Authority was ſmaller, 


There was on both Sides much to ſay: 
She'd hear the Cauſe another Day, 
And ſo ſhe did, and then a Third, 


She heard it — there ſhe kept her Word 
But with Rejoinders and Replies, 


7 


Long Bills, and Anſwers, ſtuff d with Lies, 


Demur, 


— ä ——— — 


Cadenus and V. aneſſa. 


2 C 


Demur, Imparlance, and Eſſoign, 
The Parties ne'er could Iſſue join: 
For Sixteen Years the Cauſe was ſpun, 
And then ſtood where it firſt begun. 


Now, gentle Clio, ſing or ſay, 
What Yenus meant by this Delay. 
The Goddeſs much perplex'd in Mind, 
To ſee her Empire thus declin*d, 
When firſt this grand Debate aroſe 
Above her Wiſdom to compoſe, 
Conceiv'd a Project in her Head, 

To work her Ends; which if it ſped, 
Wou'd ſhew the Merits of the Cauſe, 


Far better than conſulting Laws. 


In a glad Hour Lucina's Aid 


Produc'd on Farth a wond'rous Maid, 


" Bhs On 


— —_— 
* — 


18 Cadennus and Vaneſſa. 


km 


On whom the Queen of Love was bent 
To try a new Experiment : 

She threw her Law-books on the Shelf, 
And thus debated with herſelf. 


7 _—_ — — — — ͤ— 


Since Men alledge they nc'er can find 
Thoſe Beauties in a Female Mind, 
Which raiſe a Flame that will endure 
For ever, uncorrupt and pure; 
If 'tis with Realon they complain, | 
This Infant ſhall reſtore my Reign. 
I'll fearch where cy*ry Virtue dwells, 
From Courts incluitve, down to Cells, 
What Preachers talk, or Sagcs write, 
Theſe I will gather and unite, 
And repreſent them to Mankind 


Collected in that Intant's Mind. 


This 


— —— — — 


— 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 19 


7 — — 


This ſaid, ſhe plucks in Heay'ns high Bow'rs 
A Sprig of Amaranthine Flow'rs, 
In Nectar thrice infuſes Bays, 
Three times refin'd in Titan's Rays: 
Then calls the G aces to her Aid, 
And ſprinkles thrice the new-born Maid. 
From whence the tender Skin aſſumes 
A Sweetneſs above all Perfumes ; 
From whence a Cleanlineſs remains, - 
Incapable of outward Stains ; 
From whence that Decency of Mind, 
So lovely in the Female Kind, 
Where not one careleſs Thought intrudes, 
Leſs modeſt than the Speech of Prudes; 
Where never Bluſh was call'd in Aid, 


That ſpurious Virtue in a Maid, 
A Virtue but at ſecond-hand ; 
They bluſh becauſe they underſtand. 


a 2 | The 


| 


11 


— h 


20 Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


_— 


The Graces next wou'd act their Part, 
And ſhew'd but little of their Art; 
Their Work was half already done, | 
The Child with native Beauty ſhone, 


— — — 


The outward Form no Help requir'd: 
Each breathing on her thrice, inſpir'd 
That gentle, ſoft, engaging Air, 
Which in old Times adorn'd the Fair ; 
And ſaid, © Vaneſſa be the Name, | 
« By which thou ſhalt be known to Fame: 

« Vaneſſa, by the Gods enroll'd : 


« Her Name on Earth ---- ſhall not be told. 


But ſtill the Work was not compleat, 
hen Venus thought on a Deceit : 
Drawn by her Doves, away ſhe flies, 


And finds out Pallas in the Skies : 


Dear 


— CO OOOOOOOETm—m—m—m—_ 


* — — — — — — 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


21 


Dear Pallas, I have been this Morn 
To ſee a loyely Infant born : 

A Boy in yonder Ile below, 

So like my own, without his Bow, 
By Beauty cou'd your Heart be won, 
You'd ſwear it is Apollo's Son; 

But it ſhall ne'er be ſaid, a Child 

So hopeful, has by me been ſpoil'd; 
I have enough beſides to ſpare, 


And give him wholly to your Care. 


Vi ſdum's above ſuſpecting Wiles : 
The Queen of Learning gravely ſmiles, 
Down from Olympus comes with Joy, 
Miſtakes Vaneſſa for a Boy; 


Then ſows within her tender Mind 


Seeds long unknown to Womankind, 


2 3 


For 


. h — 


— —Pä—-ẽ — 9k᷑ 
— — . 


22 Cadenus and Faneſſa. 


— — 


— 


—— 


For man!y Boſ:ms chiefly fit, 
The Sceds of Knowledge, Judgment, Wit. | 
Her Sou! was 1ſ.:d:lenly endu'd 

With Juic.c:, Luch and Fortitude ; | 
With Honour, which no Breath can ſtain, | 
Which Malice muſt attack in vain ; | 
With open Heart and bountcous Hand- 
But Pallas here was at a Stand ; | 
She knew in our degen'rate Days 

Bare Virtue could not live on Praiſe, 

That Meat muſt be with Money bought, 

She therefore, upon ſecond Thought, 

Infus'd, yet as it were by Stealth, 

Some {mall Regard for State and Wealth: 

Of which, as ſhe grew up, there ſtay'd 

A Tincture in the prudent Maid : 

She manag'd her Eftate with Care, 


Yet lik'd three Footmen to ker Chair. 


But 


a= 


[ 


Cadenus and Vane fa. 2 


L 


9 


__— — 


— 


But leſt he ſhou'd neglect his Studies 
Like a young Heir, the thrifty Goddeſs 
(For fear young Maſter ſhou'd be ſpoil'd,) a 


Wou'd uſe him like a younger Child; 
And, after long computing, found 
Twou'd come to juſt Five Thouſand Pound. 


Thc Queen of Love was pleas'd, and proud, 
To fee Vaneſſa thus endow'd; 
She doubted not but fuch a Dame 
Thro' ev'ry Breaſt wou'd dart a Flame; 
That ev*ry rich and lordly Swain 
Wich Pride wow'd drag about her Chain; 
That Scholars wou'd forfake their Books 
To ſtudy bright Vaneſſa's Looks: 
As ſhe ad vanc'd, that Womankind 
Wou'd by her Model form their Mind, 


a 4 And 


„% : „%.ꝗ, ß Ut 


— —  — — 


I 


24 Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


— — 


And all their Conduct wouꝰd be try'd 5 
By her, as an unerring Guide. 

Offending Daughters oft wou'd heat 
LVaneſſa's Praiſe rung in their Ear: | 
Miſs Betty, when ſhe does a Fault, | 
Lets falls her Knife, or ſpills the Salt, 
Will thus be by her Mother chid, 


« *Tis what Vaneſſa never did. 


Thus by the Nymphs and Swains ador'd, 
My Pow'r ſhall be again reſtor'd, 


And happy Lovers bleſs my Reign---- 
So Venus hop'd, but hop*'d in vain. 


For when in time the Martial Maid 
Found out the Trick that Venus play d, 
She ſhakes her Helm, ſhe knits her Brows, 
And fir'd with Indignation vows, 
To-morrow, ere the ſetting Sun, 


She'd all undo, that ſhe had done, But 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


25 


But in the Poets we may find, 
A wholeſome Law, Time out of mind, 
Had been confirm'd by Fate's Decree ; 
That Gods, of whatſoc'er Degree, 
Reſume not what themſelves have giv'n, 
Or any Brother-God in Heav'n: 
Which keeps the Peace among the Gods, 
Or they muſt always be at Odds. 
And Pallas, if ſhe broke the Laws, 
Muſt yield her Foe the ſtronger Cauſe; 
A Shame to one ſo much ador'd 
For Wiſdom, at ov e s Council-Board. 
Beſides, ſhe fear'd the Queen of Love 
Wou'd meet with better Friends above. 
And tho? ſhe muſt with Grief reflect, 
To ſee a Mortal Virgin deck'd 


With Graces, hitherto unknown 


To Female Breaſts, except her own ; 


Yet 


— 


26 Cadenur and Vaneſſa. 


- — —— 


3 


Yet ſhe wou'd act as beſt became 

A Goddeſs of unſpotted Fame: 

She knew, by Augury Divine, 

Venus wou'd fail in her Deſign: 

She ſtudy'd well the Point, and found 


, ; 
Her Foe?'s Concluſions were not ſo nd. 


From Premiſes erroneous br: ug! 
And therefore the Deductions nonght, | 


And muſt have cortia ; | © &s 


To what ti treach'ruus Fo. exre.ls, 


In proper Seaſon Pallat meets 
The Queen of Love, whom thus te greets, 
(For Gods, we 'are by [Tomer told, 
Can in Celeſtial Language tcold) 
Perfidious Goddets ! but in vain 


You form''d this Project in your Brain, | 


3 


— — © a 
py 1 . 


. — .. 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


Ir 


A Project for thy Talents fit, 

With much Deceit and little Wit ; 
Thou haſt, as thou ſhalt quickly ſee, 
Decciv'd thy ſelf, inſtead of me; 

For how can Heay'nly Wiſdom prove 
An Iaitrument to earthly Love? 
Know'ſt thou not yet that Men commence 
Thy Votarics, for Want of Senſe ? 

Nor ſhall Yaneſfſa be the Theme 

To manage thy abortive Scheme ; 

She'll prove the greateſt of thy Foes: 


And yet I ſcorn to interpoſe, 
But uſing neither Skill, nor Force, 


Leave all Things to their Nat'ral Courſe. 


The Goddeſs thus pronounc'd her Doom: 


When, lo! FLaneſſa in her Bloom. 
Advanc'd like Atalanta's Star, 


But rarely ſeen, and ſcen from far 


In 


28 


— 


Cadenu and Vaneſſa. 


In a new World with Caution ſtept, 

l! Watch'd all the Company ſhe kept, 

| Well knowing from the Books ſhe read 
What dangerous Paths young Virgins tread ; 


— 


— __ —„- 


[ Wou'd ſeldom at the Park appcar, 


+. 
— —— * 


Nor ſaw the Play-Houſe twice a Year ; 
f . . . . 
Yet not incurious, was inclin'd 
| 


To know the Converſe of Mankind. 


—— 


Firſt iſſu'd from Perfumers Shops 
A Croud of faſhionable Fops ; 
They ask'd her, how ſhe lik'd the Play. 
| Then told the Tattle of the Day, 
| A Duel tought laſt Night at Two, 
About a Lady ----- You know who ; 


— — — =_z — — — — — 


Mention'd a new Italian, come 
+ 

| Either from MXx/couy or Rome ; 
| 


Gave Hints of who and who's together ; | 


| 
| Then fell to talking of the Weather : Laſt 
| 


Cadenus and 


Vaneſſa. 


Laſt Night was ſo extremely fine, 


The Ladies walk'd till after Nine. 
Then 1a foft Voice and Speech abſurd, 
| With Nonſenſe ev'ry ſecond Word, 
With Fuſtian from exploded Plays, 


— 


| They celebrate her Beauty's Praiſe, 
ERun ofer their Cant of ſtupid Lies, 
And tcll the Murders of her Eyes. 


With ſilent Scorn Faneſſa ſat, 
Scarce liſt'ning to their idle Chat; 


Further than ſometimes by a Frown, 


When they grew pert, to pull them down. 


At laſt ſhe ſpitefully was bent 
To try their Wiſdom's full Extent ; 
And aid, ſhe valu'd nothing leſs 
Than Titles, Figure, Shape, and Dreis; 
| aat, Merit ſhould be chiefly plac'd 
In Judgment, Knowledge, Wit, and Taſte; And 


" 


— — 
——ñů—ę —— ee es 
— — — — — 
_— 
— : — — — 


68 


30 Cadenus and Vaxeſſa 


And theſe, ſhe offer d to diſpute, 

Alone diſtiaguiſh'd Man from Brute; 
That, preſent Times have no Pretence 
To Virtue, in the Nobleſt S nſe, 

By Greeks and Romans underſtood, 

To periſh for our Country's Good. 

She nam'd the antient Heroes round, 
Explain'd for what they were renown'd; 
Then ſpoke with Cenſure, or Applauſe, 
Of foreign Cuſtoms, Rites, and Laws; 
Throꝰ Nature, and thro' Art ſhe rang'd, 
And gracefully her Subject chang'd: 


In vain: her Hearers had no Share 


In all ſhe ſpoke, except to ſtare. 


＋ heir Judgment was upon the Whole, 
— 

—— That Lady is the dulleſt Soul —— 

Then tipt their Forehcad in a Jeer, 


As who ſhould fay —— ſhe wants it here; 


— 


She | 


Cadets and Faneſſa. 31 


* — 5 i. — 


— 


S. may be handſome, young and rich, 


Rat zone will burn her for a Witch. 
| A Porty next of glitt'ring Dames, 


From round the Puilicus cf Sr. James, 
| Came ea:ly, out of pure Good-will, 


To ſce the Girl in Deſhabille. 
| Their Clamour lighting from their Chairs, 
Grew :ouder, all the Way up Stairs; 


At Entrance loudeſt, where they found 


The Room with Volumes litter'd round 
Vaneſſa held Moutaigue, and read, 
Whilit Are. Suan comb'd her Head : 
They call'd for Tea and Chocolate, 
And fell into their uſual Chat, 
Difcourling with important Face, 


On Ribvons, Fans, and Gloves and Lace; 


he 


Shew'd 


Vaneſſa. 


— 0 


32 


— a rey 


Cadenus and 


— 


Shew'd Patterns juſt from India brought, 
And gravely ask'd her what ſhe thought, 
Whether the Red or Green were beſt, 
And what they coſt ? Yaneſſa gueſs d, 
As came into her Fancy firſt, | 


I} Nam'd half the Rates, and lik'd the worſt. 
| To Scandal next ----- What aukward Thing 

| | Was that, laſt Sunday in the Ring? 

| 


------ Pm ſorry Mopſa breaks ſo faſt ; 
1 I faid her Face would never laſt. 


Corinna with that youthful Air, 
Is thirty, and a Bit to ſpare. 


Her Fondneſs for a certain Earl 
Began, when I was but a Girl. 
Phyllis, who but a Month ago 

Was marry'd to the Tunbridge Beau, 
I ſaw coquetting Yother Night 

In publick with that odious Knight. 


They 


oY 


88 i 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa» 33 


They railly'd next Yaneſſa's Dreſs; 
That Gown was made for Old Queen Beſs. 
Dear Madam, Let me ſet your Head: 
Don't you intend to put on Red ? 

A Pettycoat without a Hoop! 
Sure, you are not aſham*d to ſtoop ; 
With handſome Garters at your Knees, 


No matter what a Fellow ſees. 


Fill'd with Diſdain, with Rage inflam'd, 
Both of her ſelf and Sex aſham'd, 


The Nymph ftood ſilent out of ſpight, 
Nor wou'd vouchſafe to ſet them right. 
Away the fair Detractors went, 

And gave, by turns, their Cenſures Vent. 


& 


She's not ſo handſome, in my Eyes: 


For Wit, I wonder where it lies. 


h She's 


24 Cadenus nnd Vane ſſa. | 


She's fair and clean, and that's the moſt ; | 
| But why proclaim her for a Toaſt? 

1 A Baby Face, no Life, no Airs, 

} But what ſhe learnt at Country Fairs ; 

| | Scarce knows what Diff 'Tence is between 

| | Rich Flanders Lace, and Colberteen. 

] | I'll undertake my little Nancy 


In Flounces has a better Fancy. 


| 
5 
| 

| | 


(T3 


Her Judgment, how to buy a Mask. 
We begg'd her but to patch her Face, 


She never hit one proper Place ; 


| 

1 

L ; 

| With all her Wit, I wou'd not ask 


Which every Girl at five Years old 


Can do as ſoon as ſhe 1s told. 
I own, that out-of-faſhion Stuff 


Becomes the Creature well enough. 


The Girl might pats, if we cou'd get her 


To know the World a little better. 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 35 


—— 


70 


(To know the World ! a modern Phraſe, 
For Viſits, Ombre, Balls and Plays.) 


Thus, to the World's perpetual Shame, 
The Oueen of Beauty loſt her Aim. 
Too late with Grief ſhe underſtood, 
Pallas had done more Harm than Good ; 
For great Examples are but vain, 
Where Ignorance begets Diſdain. 
Both Sexes, arm'd with Guilt and Spite, 
Againſt Vaneſſas Pow'r unite ; 
To copy her, few Nymphs aſpir'd; 
Her Virtues fewer Swains admir'd : 
So Stars beyond a certain Height 


Giye Mortals neither Heat nor Light. 


Yet ſome of either Sex, endow'd 


With Gifts ſuperior to the Crowd, 


b 2 With 


— 


36 Cadenus and Vaneſſa 


With Virtue, Knowledge, Taſte and Wit, 
She condeſcended to admit: 


With pleaſing Arts ſhe could reduce 
Mens Talents to their proper Uſe; 
And with Addreſs each Genius held | 


To that wherein it moſt excell'd; 


— 


Thus making others Wiſdom known, | 


Cou'd pleaſe them, and improve her own. 


A modeſt Youth ſaid ſomething new, 


She plac'd it in the ſtrongeſt View. 
All humble Worth ſhe ſtrove to raiſe ; 


Would not be prais'd, yet lov'd to praiſe. 
The Learned met with free Approach, 


Although they came not in a Coach. , 


Some Clergy too ſhe wou'd allow, 


Nor quarrelPd at their auk ward Bow. 


Bu: this was for Cadenus ſake; 


| A Gownman of a diff ' rent Nlake 
| | Whom 


— ——_—_—_— 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


37 


Whom Pallas, once Vaneſſa's Tutor, 
Had fix*d on for her Coadjutor. 


But Cupid, full of Miſchief, longs 
To vindicate his Mother's Wrongs. 
On Pallas all Attempts are vain ; 

One way he knows to give her Pain : 
Vows, on Yaneſſa's Heart to take 

Due Vengeance, for her Patron's ſake. 
Thoſe early Seeds by Venus ſown, 

In ſpight of Pallas, now were grown ; 
And Cupid hop*d they wou'd improve 


By Time, and ripen into Love. 


The Boy made uſe of all his Craft, 


In vain diſcharging many a Shaft, 
Pointed at Col'nels, Lords, and Beaux ; 


Cadenus warded off the Blows: 


b 3 


For 


38 Cadenus and V. aneſſa. 


— 


—  — 


For placing ſtill ſome Book bet wixt, 
The Darts were in the Cover fix'd, 
Or often blunted and recoil'd, 


On Plutarch's Morals ſtruck, were ſpoil'd. 


The Queen of Wiſdom cou'd foreſee, 


But not prevent the Fates Decree ; 
And human Caution tries in vain 

To break that Adamantine Chain. 
Vaneſſa, tho? by Pallas taught, 

By Love invulnerable thought, 
Searching in Books for Wiſdom's Aid, 


Was, in the very Search, betray d. 


Cupid, tho' all his Darts were loft. 
Yet ſtill refolv'd to ſpare no Coſt; 


He could not anfyger to his Fame 


The Triumphs of that ſtubborn Dame. 


— 


— 


Cadenus and Faneſſa. 39 


— _—_ 


A Nymph ſo hard to be ſubdu'd, 
Who neither was Coquette nor Prude. 
J find, ſays he, ſhe wants a Doctor, 


Both to adore her and inſtruct her; 
Pll give her what ſhe moſt admires, 


Among thoſe venerable Sires. 

Cadenus is a Subject fit, 

Grown old in Politicks and Wit; 
Careſs'd by Minifters of State, 

Of half Mankind the Dread and Hate. 
Whate'er Vexations Love attend, 

She need no Rivals apprehend. 

Her Sex, with univerſal Voice, 


Muſt laugh at her capricious Choice. 


Cadenus many things had writ ; 
Vaueſſa much eſteem'd his Wit, 


b 4 And 


— 


40 Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


1 EET 


And calPd for his Poetick Works; 

Mean time the Boy in ſecret lurks, 

And while the Book was in her Hand, 
'The Urchin from his private Stand 

Took Aim, and ſhot with all his Strength 
A Dart of ſuch prodigious Length, 

It pierc'd the feeble Volume thro?, 

And deep transfix'd her Boſom too. 

Some Lines, more moving than the reſt, 
Stuck to the Point that pierc'd her Breaſt ; 
And, born dire&ly to the Heart, . 


With Pains unknown increas'd her Smart. | 


Vaneſſa, not in Years a Score, 


Dreams of a Gown of forty-four ; 
Imaginary Charms can find, 


In Eyes with Reading almoſt blind ; 


Cadenus 


Cadenus and V aneſſa. 41 


ä 


Cadenus now no more appears 

Declin'd in Health, advanc'd in Years. 
She fancies Muſick in his Tongue, 

Nor further looks, but thinks him young. 
What Mariner is not afraid, 


To venture in a Ship decay'd ? 


What Planter will attempt to yoke 
A Sapling with a falling Oak ? 
As Years increaſe, ſhe brighter ſhines, 
Cadenus with each Day declines, 

And he muſt fall a Prey to Time, 


While ſhe continues in her Prime. 


Cadenus, common Forms apart, 
In eyery Scene had kept his Heart ; 
Had ſigh'd and languiſh'd, vow'd, and writ, 


For Paſtime, or to ſhew his Wit ; 


But 


42 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


_ 


But Time, and Books, and State Affairs 
Had ſpoil'd his faſhionable Airs; 


He now cou'd praiſe, eſteem, approve, 


But underſtood not what was Love. 

His Conduct might have made him ſty1l'd 
A Father, and the Nymph his Child. 
That innocent Delight he took 

To fee the Virgin mind her Book, 

Was but the Maſter's ſecret Joy 

In School to hear the fineſt Boy. 

Her Knowledge with her Fancy grew ; 
She hourly preſs d for ſomething new; 


Ideas came into her Mind 


So faſt, his Leſſons lagg'd behind : 
She reaſon'd, without plodding long, 


Nor ever gave her Judgment wrong. 
But now a ſudden Change was wrought, 


She minds no longer what he taught. 


— — 


Cadenus 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 43 


—— * . 
— 


Cadenus was amaz'd to find 
Such Marks of a diſtracted Mind; 


For tho” ſhe ſeem'd to liſten more 


| To all he ſpoke, than cer before; 

He found her Thoughts would abſent range, 

Yet gueſsꝰd not whence could ſpring the Change. 
And firſt he modeſtly conje&ures 

His Pupil might be tir'd with Lectures; 

Which help'd to mortify his Pride, 


Yet gave him not the Heart to chide ; 


But in a mild dejected Strain, 

At laſt he ventur'd to complain: 

Said, ſhe ſhou'd be no longer teiz'd ; 
Might have her Freedom when ſhe pleas'd : 


Was now convinc'd he acted wrong, 
To hide her from the World fo long ; 


And in dull Studies to engage 


One of her tender Sex and Age. 


That 


44 © Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


That ev'ry Nymph with Envy own'd, 
How ihe might ſhine in the Grand- Monde, 
And ev'ry Shepherd was undone 


To ſec her cloiſter'd like a Nun. 
This was a viſionary Scheme, 


He wak'd, and found it but a Dream ; 


A Project far above his Skill, 
For Nature muſt be Nature ftill. 


If he was bolder than became 

A Scholar to a Courtly Dame, 

She might nfs a Man of Letters ; 
Thus Tutors often treat their Betters. 
And ſince his Talk offenſive grew, 
He came to take his laſt Adieu. 


Hane ſſa, filld with juſt Diſdain, 
Wou'd ſtill her Dignity maintain, 


8 
> - 
— 


— —— 1—k— 


Inftruc- 


—_ ln. I dit 


—, 


Nur inmoſt Secrets to our Foes : 


— 


— rm ns 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


Inſtructed from her early Years 
To ſcorn the Art of Female Tears. 


Had he employ'd his Time fo long, 
To teach her what was Right or Wrong, 
Yet cou'd ſuch Notions entertain, 


That all his Lectures were in yain ? 


She own'd the wand”ring of her Thoughts, 


But he muſt anſwer for her Faults. 


She well remember d to her Coſt, 
That all his Leſſons were not loſt. 
Two Maxims ſhe could ſtill produce, 


And tad Experience taught her Uſe: 


That Virtue, pleas'd by being ſhown, 


Knows nothing which it dare not own; 


Can make us without Fear diſcloſe 


III 


46 Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


That common Forms were not deſign'd 
Directors to a noble Mind. 

Now, ſaid the Nymph, I'll let you ſee 
My Actions with your Rules agree, 


That I can vulgar Forms deſpiſe, 

And have no Secrets to diſguiſe. 

I knew by what you ſaid and writ, 

How dang*rous Things were Men of Wit, 


You caution'd me againſt their Charms, 
But never gave me equal Arms : 

Your Leſſons found the weakeſt Part, 
Aim'd at the Head, but reach'd the Heart. 


Cadeuus felt within him riſe 


Shame, Ditappointment, Guile, Surprize. 


He knew not how to reconcile 


Such Language, with her uſual Style 


•m̃ ß — 7 


Cadenus and V. aneſſa. 47 


And yet her Words were ſo expreſt, 

He cou'd not hope ſhe ſpoke in Jeſt. 

His Thoughts had wholly been confin'd 
To form and cultivate her Mind. 

He hardly knew, till he was told, 
Whether the Nymph were Young or Old; 
Had met her in a publick Place, 

Without diſtinguiſhing her Face. 

Much lets could his declining Age 
Vaneſſa's earlieſt Thoughts engage. 

And if her Youth Indifference met, 

His Perſon muſt Contempt beget. 

Or grant her Paſſion be ſincere, 

How ſhall his Innocence be clear ? 
Appearances were all ſo ſtrong, 

The World muſt think him in the Wrong ; 
Wou'd ſay, He made a treach'rous Uſe 


Of Wit, to flatter and ſeduce : 


1 


48 Cudenut and Vaneſſa 


— — — — — 


| The Town wou'd ſwear he had betray'd, 
| By Magick Spells, the harmleſs Maid ; 
| And ev'ry Beau wou'd have his Jokes, 


That Scholars were like other Folks : 
That when Platonick Flights were over, 


The Tutor turn'd a mortal Lover. 


* So tender of the Young and Fair ? 
It ſhew'd a true Paternal Care — 
Five thouſand Guineas in her Purſe ? 


The Doctor might have fancy'd worſe.—— 


Hardly at length he Silence broke, 
And faulter'd ey'ry Word he ſpoke ; 
Interpreting her Complaiſance, 


Juſt as a Man ſans Conſequence. 


She railly'd well, he always knew, 


Her Manner now was ſomething new; 


And 


— — 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


And what ſhe ſpoke was in an Air, 
As ſerious as a Tragick Play”r. 
But thoſe who aim at Ridicule 


Shou'd fix upon ſome certain Rule, 


Which fairly hints they are in jeſt, 


Elſe he muſt enter his Proteſt: 


For, let a Man be ne'er fo wiſe, 


He may be caught with ſober Lies; 
A Science which he never taught, 
And, to be free, was dearly bought : 
For, take it in its proper Light, 

Tis juſt what Coxcombs call, 4 Bite. 


But not to dwell on Things minute, 


Vaneſſa finiſh'd the Diſpute, 


Brought 


- EEFEOPF=— ul . ñ—xñßxññxñx.t,ñũ%ń TE — CI — — 


50 Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


Brought weighty Arguments to prove 


That Reaſon was her Guide in Love. 
She thought he had himſelf deſcrib'd, 


His Doctrines when ſhe firſt imbib'd ; 
What he had planted, now was grown 


His Virtues ſhe might call her own; 
As he approves, as he diſlikes, 

Love or Contempt, her Fancy ſtrikes. 
Self-Love, in Nature rooted faſt, 
Attends us firſt, and leaves us laſt : 
Why ſhe likes him, admire not at her, 
She loves herſelf, and that's the Matter. 
How was her Tutor wont to praiſe 
The Genins's of ancient Days ! 

(Thoſe Authors he fo oft had nam'd 
For Learning, Wit, and Wiſdom fam'd 2 


— — _ — 


—— 


- * 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 81 


— — 


— 


Was ftruck with Love, Eſteem, and Awe, 
For Perſons whom he never ſaw. 

Suppole Cadenus flouriſh'd then, 

He muſt adore ſuch God-like Men. 

If one ſhort Volume cou'd compriſe 

All that was witty, learn'd, and wiſe, 
How wou'd it be eſteem'd, and read, 
Altho' the Writer long were dead? 


If ſuch an Author were alive, 
How all wou'd for his Friendſhip ftriye ; 


And come in Crowds to ſee his Face: 


And this ſhe takes to be her Caſe. 


Cadenus anſwers every End, 


The Book, the Author, and the Friend. 


C3 1 


„ 


532 Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


The utmoſt her Deſires will reach, 
Is but to learn what he can teach; 
His Converfe is a Syſtem, fit 


Alone to fill up all her Wit; 
While ev*ry Paſſion of her Mind 


In him is center'd and confin'd. 


Love can with Speech inſpire a Mute, 
And taught Yareſſa to diſpute. 
This Topick, never touch'd before, 
Diſplay'd her Eloquence the more: 
Her Knowledge, with ſuch Pains acquir'd, 
By this new Paſſion grew inſpir'd. 
Thro' this ſhe made all Objects pats, 


Which gave a TinQure o'er the Mats : 


As 


— 


Cadem and . ane ſſa. 53 


As Rivers, tho' they bend and twine, 
Still to the Sea their Courſe incline ; 
Or, as Philoſophers, who find 

Some fay*rite Syſtem to their Mind, 
In ev'ry Point to make it fit, 

Will force all Nature to ſubmit. 


Cadenus, who cou'd neꝰ er ſuſpect 
His Leſſons wou'd have ſuch Effect, 
Or be fo artfully apply'd, 
Inſenſibly came on her Side ; 
It was an unforeſeen Event, 
Things took a Turn he never meant. 
Whoe'er excels in what we prize, 
Appears a Hero to our Eyes; 
Each Girl when pleas'd with what is taught, 
Will have the Teacher in her Thought. 

e-3 When 


— — — ꝗ—— 


54 Cadenus and Vaneſſa 


— 


When Miſs delights in her Spinnet, 


A Fidler may a Fortune get ; 
A Blockhead with melodious Voice 
In Boarding-Schools can have his Choice 


And oft” the Dancing-Maſter's Art 


Climbs from the Toe to touch the Heart, 
In Learning let a Nymph delight, 
The Pedant gets a Miſtreſs by't. | | 


Cadenus, «© ff and Shame, 


Cou'd ſcarce y. Vaneſſa's Flame; 
But tho' her Arguments were ſtrong, 
At leaſt, cou'd hardly wiſh them wrong. 


Howe'er it came, he cou'd not tell, 


But, ſure, ſhe never talk'd ſo well. 
His Pride began to interpoſe, 


Preferr'd before a Crowd of Beaux, 


DOOR cat | 
Cadenus and V aneſſa. 56 


— 


So bright a Nymph to come unſought, 
Such Wonder by his Merit wrought ; 
Tis Merit muſt with her prevail, 

He never knew her Judgment fail. 


She noted all ſne ever read, 


And had a moſt diſcerning Head. 


"Tis an old Maxim in the Schools, 


That Vanity's the Focd of Fools ; 


Yet now and then your Men of Wit 


Will condeſcend to take a Bit. 


So when Cadenus could not hide, 


He choſe to juſtify his Pride; 
Conſtring the Paſſion ſhe had ſhown, 


Much to her Praiſe, more to his Own. 


C-'4 Nature 


— 


— 


— 2 — ——  c - 


} 


EE 


- ug, au« —— — " - * —4 


56 Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


1 


Nature in him had Merit plac'd, 
In her, a moſt judicious Taſte. 
Love, hitherto a tranſient Gueſt, 


Ne'er held Poſſeſſion of his Breaft ; 


„ 


So, long attending at the Gate, 

Diſdain'd to enter in ſo late. 

Love, why do we one Paſſion call? 
When *tis a Compound of them all ; 
Where hot and cold, where ſharp and ſweet, 
In all their Equipages meet; 

Where Pleaſures mix'd with Pains appear, 
Sorrow with Joy, and Hope with Fear. 
Wherein his Dignity and Age 

Forbid Cadeuus to engage. 

But Friendſhip in its greateſt Height, 


A conſtant, rational Delight, 


On 


- 
— — ——U — 


—— 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 57 


by 


On Virtue's Baſis fix'd to laſt, 

When Love's Allurements long are paſt ; 
Which gently warms, but cannot burn; 
He gladly offers in return : 

His Want of Paſſion will redeem, 

With Gratitude, Reſpect, Eſteem : 


With that Devotion we beſtow, 


| When Goddeſſes appear below. 


While thus Cadeuus entertains 


Vaneſſa in exalted Strains, 


* 
— _, I OD _ — 


The Nymph in ſober Words intreats 


A Truce with all ſublime Conceits. 


| For why ſuch Raptures, Flights, and Fancies, 


I0o her, who durſt not read Romances ; 
In lofty Style to make Replies, 
Which he had taught her to deſpiſe. 


But 


63 Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


pO CEEEEY 


But when her Tutor will affect 
Devotion, Duty, and Reſpect, 

He fairly abdicates his Throne, 
The Government is now her own : 
He has a Forfeiture incurr'd, 


She vows to take him at his Word, 


And hopes he will not think it ſtrange 


If both ſhou'd now their Stations change. 


The Nymph will have her Turn, to be 
The Tutor; and the Pupil, he: 

Tho' ſhe already can diſcern, 

Her Scholar is not apt to learn; 

Or wants Capacity to reach 

The Science ſhe deſigns to teach: 


Whaerein his Genius was below 


The Skill of ev'ry common Beau: 


Who, 


CE — 
- 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 59 


„„ 


Who, tho? he cannot ſpell, is wife 
Enough to read a Lady's Eyes; 
And will each accidental Glance 


Interpret for a kind Advance. 


But what Succeſs Vaueſſa met, 
Is to the World a Secret yet : 
Whether the Nymph, to pleaſe her Swain, 


Talks in a high Romantick Strain ; 
Or whether he at laſt deſcends 
To like with leſs Seraphick Ends; 


Or, to compound the Buſineſs, whether 


They temper Love and Books together; 


Muſt never to Mankind be told, 
Nor ſhall the conſcious Muſe unfold. 


Mean 


n 


60 Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


Mean time the mournful Queen f Love 
Led but a weary Life above. 
She ventures now to leave the Skies, 
Grown by Yaneſſa's Conduct wile. 
For tho' by one perverſe Event 
Pallas had croſs'd her firſt Intent, 
Tho' her Deſign was not obtain'd, 
Yet had ſhe much Experience gain'd ; 
And, by the Project vainly try'd, 
Cou'd bar now the Carn/ſe decide. 


She gave duc Notice, that both Partics, 
Coram Regina prox? die Martis, 
Should at their Peril without fail 


Come and appear, and ſave their Bail. 


Al 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


— 


All met, and Silence thrice proclaim'd, 
One Lawyer to cach Side was nam'd. 
The Judge diſcover'd in her Face 
Reſentments for her late Diſgrace; 
And, full of Anger, Shame, and Gricf, 
Directed them to mind their Brief; 

Nor ſpend their Time to ſhew their Reading; 
She'd have a ſummary Procceding. 

She gather*d, under ev'ry Head, 

The Sum of what each Lawyer taid ; 
Gave her own Reaſons laſt; and then 


Decreed the Cauſe againſt the Men. 


But, in a weighty Caſe like this, 
To ſhew ſhe did not judge amiſs, 


Which 


— 


62 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


n ———————_ 


Which evil Tongues might elſe report, 
She made a Speech in open Court; 
Wherein ſhe grievouſly complains, 

« How ſhe was cheated by the Swains : 
On whoſe Petition (humbly ſhewing 
That Women were not worth the wooing, 
And that unleſs the Sex would mend, 
The Race of Lovers ſoon muſt end } 

© She was at Lord knows what Expence, 
« To form a Nymph of Wit and Senſe; 
« A Model for her Sex deſign'd, 
Who never cou'd one Lover find. 

« She ſaw her Favour was miſplac'd; 

« The Fellows had a wretched Taſte ; 

*« dhe needs muſt tell them to their Face, 


«© They were a ſenſeleſs, ſtupid Race: 


grammar Oc RCR— Rs 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


« And were ſhe to begin agen, 

« She'd ſtudy to reform the Men ; 

« Or add ſome Grains of Folly more 
* To Women than they had before, 
« To put them on an equal Foot; 


« And this, or nothing elſe, wou'd do't. 


cc This might their mutual Fancy ftrike, 


Since ev'ry Being loves its Like. 


© But now, repenting what was done, 


« She left all Buſineſs to her Son: 
* She puts the World in his Poſſeſſion, 


« And let him uſe it at Diſcretion. 


The Cry'r was order'd to diſmiſs 
The Court, fo made his laſt O yes / 


— 


3 


64 


Cadenus and Vaneſſa. 


The Goddeſs wou'd no longer wait; 
But riſing from her Chair of State, 
Left all below at Six and Sev'n, 


Harneſs'd her Doves, and flew to Heay®n. 


BAUCIS 


BAU CIS 


| AND 


PHILEMO N. 


Imitated from the Eighth Book of O V 1D. 


The Saints would often leave their Cells, 


I N Antient Times, as Story tells, 


And ſtrole about, but hide their Quality, 
To try good People's Hoſpitality. 


It happen'd on a Winter Night, 
As Authors of the Legend write, 
3 Two 


| 


2 FBavcis aud PHILEMON. 


—— — — — 8 — — 


Two Brother Hermits, Saints by Trade, 
Taking their Tour in Maſquerade, 
Diſguis'd in tatter'd Habits, went 

To a ſmall Village down in Kent; 


Where, in the Strolers canting Strain, 


They begg'd from Door to Door in yain ; 
Try'd ev'ry Tone might Pity win, 
But not a Soul would let them in. 


Our wand'ring Saints in woful State, 
Treated at this ungodly Rate; 
Having thro? all the Village paſs'd, 
To a ſmall Cottage came at laſt; 


Where dwelt a good honeſt old Yeoman, 
Call'd in the Neighbourhood, Philemon. 


Who kindly did theſe Saints invite 
In his poor Hut to pats the Night : 
Rog 


And 


Bavcis and PHILEMON. 


— — 


— — * 
5 


And then the hoſpitable Sire 

Bid Goody Baucis mend the Fire; 
While he from out the Chimney took 
A Flitch of Bacon off the Hook; 
And freely from the fatteſt Side 

Cut out large Slices to be fry'd: 
Then ſtept aſide to fetch em Drink, 
Fill'd a large Jug up to the Brink; 
And ſaw it fairly twice go round: 
Yet (what is wonderful) they found 
"Twas ſtill repleniſh'd to the Top, 
As if they ne'er had touch'd a Drop. 


The good old Couple was amaz'd, 


And often on each other gaz'd: 


For both were frighted to the Heart, 
And juſt began to cry, -- What art! 
Then ſoftly turn'd aſide to view, 
Whether the Lights were burning blue. 


B 2 


4 Bavcs and PatLeNON. 


— — 


2 — 


The gentle Pilgrims ſoon aware on't, 
Told em their Calling, and their Errant: 
Good Folks, you need not be afraid, 

We are but Saints, the Hermits ſaid : 


No Hurt ſhall come to you, or yours; 
But, for that Pack of churliſh Boors, 


Not fit to live on Chriſtian Ground, 
They and their Houſes ſhall be drown'd : 


Whilſt you ſhall fee your Cottage rife, 
And grow a Church before your Eyes. 


They ſcarce had ſpoke ; when fair and ſoft, 
The Roof began to mount aloft ; 
Aloft roſe cv'ry Beam and Rafter, 
The heavy Wall climb'd ſlowly after. 


The Chimney widen'd, and grew Wer. A 
Recame a Stceple with a Spire. 


The 


es” — 


> YE 
Bavcis and PHiLEMON. 5 


— 


| The Kettle to the Top was hoiſt, 

| And there ſtood faſt ned to a Joiſt; 
But with the Upſide down, to ſhow 

| Its Inclination for below : 

In vain; for a ſuperior Force 

Apply'd at Bottom, ſtops its Courſe, 


Doom'd ever in Suſpence to dwell, 
*Tis now no Kettle, but a Bell. 


| A wooden Jack, which had almoſt 
= Loft, by Diſuſe, the Art to roaſt, 


| A ſudden Alteration feels, 
Increas'd by new Inteſtine Wheels: 


| And what exalts the Wonder more, 
The Number made the Motion flow?r. 
The Flyer, tho't had Leaden Feer, 


Turn'd round ſo quick, you ſcarce could ſec't; 


„ «‚—/F— ũ „„ ww -. ĩ ——U— 
» 


| B ; Rut 


* 


6 Ba vucts and PHILRMON. 


nnn. 


— 


But flacken'd by ſome ſecret Power, 
Now hardly moves an Inch an Hour, 
The Jack and Chimney near ally'd, 
Had never left each other's Side ; 
The Chimney to a Steeple grown, 
The Jack would not be left alone; 
But up againſt the Steeple rear'd, 


Became a Clock, and ſtill adher'd : 
And ſtill its T.ove to Houſhold Cares. 


By a ſhrill Voice at Noon declares, 
Warning the Cook-Maid, not to burn 
That Roaſt Meat which it cannot turn, 


The groaniag Chair began to crawl 
Like an huge Snail along the Wall ; 
There ſtuck aloft in publick View; 
And with ſmall change, a Pulpit grew. 


The 


Bavcis*and PHILEMoN. 7 


* 


— 


The Porringers, that in a Row . 
Hung high, and made a glitt'ring Show, 
To a leſs noble Subſtance chang'd, 


Were now but Leathern Buckets rang'd. 


The Ballads paſted on the Wall, 
Of Foan of France, and Engliſh Moll, 
Fair Roſamond, and Robin Hood, 

The Little Children in the Wood ; 


Now ſeem'd to look abundance better, 


Improv'd in Picture, Size, and Letter; 
And high in order plac'd, deſcribe 
The Heraldry of ev'ry Tribe. 


A Bedſtead of the Antique Mode, 0 
Compact of Timber many a Load, 
Such as our Anceſtors did uſe, 
Was Metamorphos'd into Pews ; 
B 4 Which 


dj 


8 Bavas and PHiLEMON. 


Which ſtill their antient Nature keep, 
By lodging Fol ks diſpos'd to Sleep. 


The Cottage, by ſuch Feats as theſe, 
Grown to a Church by juſt Degrees, 
The Hermits then deſir d their Hoſt 
To ask for what he fancy'd molt. 
Philemon having paus'd a while, 
Return'd em Thanks in homely Style; 
Then ſaid, My Houſe is grown fo fine, 
Methinks I ſtill would call it mine: 
I'm old, and fain would live at Eaſe, 


Make me the Parſon, if you pleaſe. 


He tpoke, and preſently he feels 
His Grazier's Coat fall down his Heels: 
He ſees, yet hardly can believe, 
About each Arm a Pudding Sleeve: 


His 


1 


— — 


Baucis and PHLEMoN. 9 


— 


His Waſtcoat to a Caſſock grew, 
And both aſſum'd a fable Hue; 

But being old, continu'd juſt 

As thread-bare, and as full of Duft. 


His Talk was now of Tythes and Dues ; 
He ſmok'd his Pipe, and read the News; 
Knew how to preach old Sermons next, 
Vamp'd in the Preface and the Text ; 


At Chriſt'nings well could act his Part, 
And had the Service all by Heart: 
Wiſh'd Women might have Children faſt, 


And thought whoſe Sow had farrow'd laſt : 
Againſt Diſſenters would repine, 

And ſtood up firm for Right Divine. 
Found his Head fill'd with many a Syſtem, 


But Claſſickx Authors, -- - he ne'er miſt 'em. 


Thus 


* = — — 
1 — 


to Bavcis and PHILEMON. 


a 


Thus having furbiſh'd up a Parſon, 


Dame Baucis next they play'd their Farce on: 


Inſtead of Home- ſpun Coifs were teen 
Good Pinners edg'd with Colberteen : 
Her Petticoat transform*d apace, 
Became black Sattin flounc'd with Lace. 
Plain Goody would no longer down, 
"Twas Madam, in her Grogram Gown. 
Philemon was in great Surprize, 

And hardly could believe his Eyes, 
Amaz'd to ſee her look ſo prim; 

And ſhe admir'd as much at Him. 


Thus, happy in their Change of Life, 
Were ſeveral Years this Man and Wife: 
When on a Day, which proy'd their laſt, 
Diſcourſing o'er old Stories paſt, 


They 


On —— —— 


Bavcis and PHILEMON. 11 


1 


1 


— —— 


They went by chance, amidſt their Talk, 
To the Church-Vard to take a Walk: 
When Baucis haſtily cry'd out, 

My Dear, I ſee your Forehead ſprout! 


Sprout, quoth the Man, What's this you tell us? 
I hope you don't believe me Jealous : | 


But yer, methinks, I feel it true ; 
And really, Yours is budding too 
Nay, -- - now I cannot ſtir my Foot: 


It feels as if *twere taking Roor. 


3 


Deſcription would but tire my Muſe: 
In ſhort, they both were turn'd to Zeus. 


Old Goodman Dobſon of the Green 

| Remembers he the Trees has ſeen ; 
Hell talk of them from Noon to N ight, 
And goes with Folks to ſhew the Sight; 


On 


— ö 


— 


Bavcis and PHILEMON. 


— — 


On Sundays, after Evening Prayer, 
He gathers all the Pariſh there; | 
Points out the Place of either Tru 5 


Here Baucis, there Philemon grew. 
Till once, a Parſon of our Town 


I2 


To mend his Barn, cut Bauc:s down; 
At which, *tis hard to be beliey'd, 
How much the other Tree was griey'd, 
Grew ſcrubby, dy d a-top, was ſtunted : 
So, the next Parſon ftubb'd and burnt it. 


r 


"3 


0 


DESCRIPTION 


OF A 


CITY SHOWER. 


—__— — — 


In Imitation of Vircir's Georg. 


CTY 
ms 


AR EFUI Obſervers may foretel the 

( | Hour 
(By ſure Prognoſticks) when to dread 
| a Shower. 
While Rain depends, the penſive Cat gives 


o'er 


IO 


Her Frolicks, and purſues her Tail no more. 


Re- 


. Let 22H 


| 5 4 A Deſcription of 


— 


Returning home at Night, you'll find the Sink 

Strike your offended Senſe with double Stink. 

If you be wiſe, then go not far to dine, 

You'll ſpend in Coach hire more than fave in 
Wine. 

A coming Show'r your ſhooting Corns preſage, 

Old Aches throb, your hollow Tooth will 
rage. 

Saunt' ring in Coffee-Houſe is Dulman ſeen; 


He damns the Climate, and complains of Spleen. 


Mean while the South, riſing with dabbled 
Wings, | 
A Sable Cloud athwart the Welkin flings, 
That ſwill'd more Liquor than it could contain, 
And like a Drunkard gives it up again. 
Brisk Suſan whips her Linnen from the Rope, 
While the frſt drizzling Show'r is born allope, 


Such 


a City SHowER 15 


— 


Such is that Sprinkling which ſome careleſs 
-n 

Flirts on you from her Mop, but not ſo clean. 

You fly, invoke the Gods; then turning, ſtop 

To rail; ſhe ſinging, ſtill whirls on her Mop. 

Not yet the Duſt had ſhunn'd th unequal Strife, 

But aided by the Wind, fought ſtill for Life, 

And wafted with its Foe by violent Guſt, 

T was doubtful which was Rain, and which was 
Duſt. 

Ah! where muſt needy Poet ſeek for Aid, 


When Duſt and Rain at once his Coat invade ? 


His only Coat, where Duſt confus'd with Rain 
Roughen the Nap, and leave a mingled Stain. 


Now in contiguous Drops the Flood comes 


down, 


Threat'ning with Deluge this devoted Town. 
3 | To 


| 
| 


16 A 


ſcription of 


— 


To Shops in Crowds the daggled Females fly, 

Pretend to cheapen Goods, but nothing buy. 

The Templer ſpruce, while ey'ry Spout's a- 

broach, 

Stays till tis fair, yet ſeems to call a Coach. 

The tuck'd-up Sempſtreſs walks with haſty 
Strides, 

While Streams run down her oil'd Umbrella's 
Sides. 

Here various Kinds by various Fortunes led, 

Commence Acquaintance underneath a Shed. 

Triumphant Tories, and deſponding Whigs, 

Forget their Feuds, and join to ſave their Wigs. 

Box'd in a Chair the Beau impatient ſits, 

While Spouts run clatt'ring o'er the Roof by 
Fits ; 

And ever and anon, with frightful Din 


The Leather ſounds; he trembles from within. 
3 86. 


a City Shower. 17 


— — 


So when Troy Chair-Men bore the wooden Steed, 
Pregnant with Greeks, impatient to be freed ; 
(Thoſe Bully Greeks, who, as the Moderns do, 
Inſtead of paying Chair-Men, run them thro'.) 
Laocoon ſtruck the Outſide with his Spear, 

And each impriſon'd Hero quak'd for Fear. 


Now from all Parts the ſwelling Kennels flow, 


And bear their Trophies with them as they go : 
Filths of all Hues and Odours, feem to tell 


What Street they 1a1ld from, by their Sight and Smell. 
They, as cach Torrent drives, with rapid Force 
From Smithfield, or St. Pulchre's, ſhape their Courſe, 
And in huge Confluent join at Szowwhill Ridge, 


C Swcepings 


1 


18 A Deſcription, Sc. 


nm 


Sweepings from Butchers Stalls, Dung, Guts, andy 
Blood, 
Drown'd Puppies, ſtinking Sprats, all drench'd in 
Mud, 

Dead Cats, and TurnipTops, come tumbling down 
the Flood. ; 


e 


g 


19 


DESCRIPTION 


MORNING. 


Appearing, ſhow'd the ruddy Morn's Approach.” 
Now Betty from her Maſter's Bcd had flown, 


OW hardly, here and there an Hackney 
Coach 


And toftly ſtole to diſcompoſe her own. 

The Slipſnod Prentice from his Maſter's Door 

Had par'd the Dirt, and ſprinkled round the Floor. 
Now Moll had whirl'd her Mop with dext'rous Airs, 


 Prepar'd to ſcrub the Entry and the Stairs. 


(3 The 


— 


20 A Deſcription of the Morning. 


The Youth with Broomy Stumps began to trace 

The Kennel-Edge, where Wheels had worn the Place. 
The Small-coal Man was heard with Cadence deep, 
Till drown'd in ſhriller Notes of Chimney-Sweep. 
Duns at his Lordſhip's Gate began to meet; 

And Brick-Duſt Aloll had ſcream'd thro? half the 


Street. 

The Turnkey now his Flock returning ſecs, 
Duly let out a-nigits to ſteal for Fees. 

The watchful Bailiffs take their filent Stands; 


And School-Boys lag with Satchels in their Hands. 


H O- 


— 13 


— — 


21 


HORACE 


EpisrTLE. VII. Book 1. 


Imitated and Addreſſed to the 


Earl of OXFORD, 
In the YEAR 1713. 


N ARLEY, the Nation's great Support, 1 


Returning home one Day from Court, 


(His Mind with publick Cares poſſeſt, 
All Europe's Bus' neſs in his Breaſt.) 


83 All 


I. Streauus & fortis, canſjiſq ue Philippus ageudis 


Clarus, ab officus oct adam circiter horam 
Dum redit. --- -- | 


An Addreſs to the 


22 


— 


Obſerv'd a Parſon near Whitehall, 5 
Cheap*ning old Authors on a Stall. 

The Prieft was pretty well in Caſe, 

And ſhew'd ſome Humour in his Face; 

Look'd with an caſy, careleſs Mien, 

A perfect Stranger to the Spleen, 10 
Of Size that might a Pulpit fill, 

But more inclining to ſit ſtill. 

My Lord, who (if a Man may ſay't) 

Loves Miſchief better than his Meat, 

Was now diſpos'd to crack a Jeſt; 15 


And bid Friend Lewzs go in queſt, 


(This 


J 49 ＋ . Contpexit, ut 6:2, 
4 8 0 0 . . 
Adraſitin qut adam vacud f?onuſunts in um. ra 
' Cel: 1 70, pargantem ſeniter ung nec. 
IF emetri (aer b:c non he Te 12 {ja Philippi 


Acciyiehat) abi, qrare, S rijer: Cade domo, gu: 
Cu; arts e, FLY fit Pare,” gude Patrons ? 


| Earl of Oxford. 


bm 


(This Lewis is a cunning Shaver, 


And very much in Haxrty's Fayour; ) 
In queſt, who might this Parſon be, 
What was his Name, of what Degree, 
If poſſible, to learn his Story, 

And whether he were H/hig or Tory? 


| Lewis his Patron's Humour knows, 


Away upon his Errand goes, 
| And quickly did the Matter ſift, 25 


Found out that it was Dr. Swaft : 


A Clergyman of ſpecial Nate, 


For ſhunning thoſe of his own Coat; 


Which made his Brethren of the Gown 


| Take Care betimes to run him down. 30 


C4 No 


23, 25. Ie, redit, I aarrat, Volteium aomiue Manam. 


— 
* 


24 Au Addreſs to the 


_ 


No Libertine, nor oyer-nice, 


Addicted to no Sort of Vice, 


Went where he pleas'd, ſaid what he thought, 


Not rich, but ow'd no Man a Groat : 
In State Opinions à la Mode, 

He hatcd h- like a Toad, 

Had giv'n the Faction many a Wound, 
And libell'd all the Zanto round; 

Kept Company with Men of Wit, 
Who often father'd what he writ ; 

His Works were hawk'd in ev'ry Street, 
But ſeldom roſe aboye a Sheet: 

Of late indeed the Paper Stamp 


Did very much his Genius cramp 3; 


35 


49 


And 


21. Terri cenſu, ſiue crimie notum, 


* ö r a | 
Jie properare loco, I ceſſare, & querere, & uti, 
Cgzut atem. 


— oe 


Earl of Oxford. 


— 


And ſince he could not ſpend his Fire, 


He now intended to retire. 


Said HARLEY, I deſire to know 
From his own Mouth, if this be ſo? 
Step to the Doctor ſtraight, and ſay, 
I'd have him dine with me to Day. 
Swift ſeem'd to wonder what he meant, 
Nor would believe My Lord had ſent ; 
So never offerꝰd once to ſtir; 

But coldly ſaid, Pour Servant, Sir. 
Does he refuſe me? HARLEX cry'd: 


He does, with Infolence and Pride. 


— — 


„» 


50 


Some 


47. Scitari libet ex ipſo quodennque refers. Dic 
Ad canam deniat. Non ſane credere Mæna; 
Mirari ſecam tacitus. | 

54. Benigue, Reſpondet. 

55. Negat ille mibi? 

56. ----- Negat improbus, & te 
Negligit, ant horret. 


5 — — —__ 


26 An Addreſs to the 


Some few Days after, HARLEx ſpies 

The Doctor faſten'd by the Eyes 

At Charing-Croſ5, among the Rout, 

Where painted Monſters are hung out. = 
He pulPd the String, and ſtopt his Coach, 
Beck*ning the Doctor to approach. 


Swift, who cou'd neither fly nor hide, 
Came ſneaking to the Chariot Side, 
And offer'd many a lame Excuſe; 65 
He never meant the Haſt Abuſe - - - 
My Lord The Honour on deſign'd - F 
Extremely proud butt I had din d- 


In 


7. Volteium mane Philippus, 
Vila dendente m tunicato ſcruta popello, 
Occupat, WT ſalvere ſubet prior. > ai 

65. —— Ille Philippo 
Exc uſare laborem 


ME. Earl of Oxtord. 


3 


Im ſure I never ſhowd neglett - - - 
No Man alive has more Reſpect- - 70 
« Well, I ſhall think of that no more, 


« If you'll be ſure to come at Four. 

The Doctor now obeys the Summons, 

Likes both his Company, and Commons ; 

Diſplays his Talent, fits till Ten; 75 
| Next Day invited, comes again; 

Soon grows Domeſtick, ſeldom fails 

Either at Morning, or at Meals; 

Came early, and departed late: 


In ſhort, the Gudgeon took the Bait. 80 


71. Sic ignoviſſe putato 
Me tibi, ſi canas hodie mec um. Ut libet. Ergo 
Poſt nonam ve nie: 


74. Ut ventum ad canam eſt, dicenda, tacenda locutas, 
andem dormitum dimittitur. Hic ubi ſepe 
Oecaltum viſus decurrere piſcis ad hamnin, 
Mane cliens, & jam certus conviva --= 


— 


28 An Addreſs to the 


Mr Lord wou'd carry on the Jeſt, 
And down to ind ſor takes his Gueſt, 
Swift much admires the Place and Air, 
And longs to be a Canon there; 
In Summer, round the Park to ride, 
In Winter, never to reſide. 
A Canon! That's a Place too mean: 
No, Doctor, you ſhall be a Dean, 
Two dozen Canons round your Stall, 
And you the Tyrant o'er them all : 
You need but croſs the [rijþ Seas, 
To hve in Plenty, Power, and Eaſe. 
Poor Sift departs ; and, what is worte, 


With borrow'd Money in his Purſe ; 


90 


Travels 


81. ——— Fubetur 
Ruraà ſuburbana indidtis comes ire Latinis. 
Impoſutt's mannis arvum caluiaque Sabinain 
A's: ceſſat laudare. 

d7. Hidet, ridetgue Philippus: 


— 


* — —— — — — — 


en e 
— — —— ——— 


Earl of Oxford. 29 


— 


Travels at leaſt a hundred Leagues, 95 
And ſuffers numberleſs Fatigues. 


Suppoſe him, now, 2 Dean complcat, 
Devoutly lolling in his Scat; 
The Silver Verge, with decent Pride, 
Stuck underneath his Cuſhion Side; roo 
Suppoſe him gone through all Vexations, 
Patents, Inſtalments, Abjurations, 
Firſt-Fruits and Tenths, and Chapter-Treats, 


Dues, Pay ments, Fees, Demands, and - Cheats. 


(The wicked Laity's contriving, 


105 
To hinder Clergymen from thriving) 
Now all the Doctor's Money's ſpent, 
His Tenants wrong him in his Rent; 
The 


pe - Oves furto, morbo periere capelle; 
peia mentita ſeges, bus eſt enedtus arando; 


— 


A An Addreſs to the 


PIR 


he 


The Farmers, ſpightfully combin'd, 


Force him to take his Tythes in Kind ; 
And Parviſol diſcounts Arrears, 
By Bills, for Taxes and Repairs. 


Poor Swift, with all his Loſſes vext, 
Not knowing where to turn him next, 
Aboye a thouſand Pounds in Debt, 
Takes Horſe, and in a mighty Fret, 
Rides Day and Night at ſuch a Rate, 
He ſoon arrives at HARTEx's Gate; 
But was fo dirty, pale, and thin, 

Old Read + would hardly let him in. 


110 


115 


* The Deau' Agent, a Frenchman. 

It3. Offenſus damair, media de nocte cabalinyx 
Arripit, tratuſque Philippi tendit ad des. 

t The Lard Treaſurer's Porter, 


x 


” 


Earl of Oxford. 


31 


— 


Said HARLEY, welcome Rey'rend Dean; 
What makes your Worſhip look ſo lean ? 
Why ſure you won't appear in Town, 

In that old Wig, and ruſty Gown ? 
I doubt your Heart is ſet on Pelf 
So much, that you neglect your ſelf. 


What! I ſuppoſe now Stocks are high, 
You've ſome good Purchaſe in your Eye; 
Or is your Money out at Ulſe ? --- 
Truce, good my Lox, I beg a Truce. 
(The Doctor in a Paſſion cry'd, ) 

Your Raillery is mifapply*d : 

I have Experience dearly hought, 


You know I am not worth a Groat: 


. ——— 


— — 


125 


130 


But 


121. Quem funul aſpexit ſcabrum intonſiimque Philippus; 


Dur try, Voltei, mms attentuſane wicerts 
mihi. 


—v—y— 


AC 


32 An Addreſs, &c. 


— 


But you reſolv'd to have your Jeſt, 
And *twas a Folly to conteſt: 
Then ſince you now have done your worſt, 


Pray leave me where you found me firft. 


—_——  .. 


— 


136. Quod te per Genium dextramque Deoſque Penates 
Obſecro, 12 obteſtor; vitæ me 2 | 


HORACE 


—— —˙ — — ———— — -— = 


1 ** 


— ——U— — — — — — — — m 


33 


HORACE, Lib. 2. Sat. 6. 


PART of it imitated. 


Often wiſh'd, that I had clear 
I For Life, ſix hundred Pounds a Year, 
A handſome Houſe to lodge a Friend, 
A River at my Garden's End, 
A Terras Walk, and half a Rood 
Of Land ſet out to plant a Wood. 


Well, now I have all this and more, 


I ask not to increaſe my Store, 


D 


1 


But | 


I. Hoc erat in votis: modus agri nm ita mag uns 
Hortus ubi, & tecto vicinus jugis aquæ fons . 
Et paulum ſilvæ ſuper his foret. : 

7. „ Auactius atque 
Di melius fecere -= 


——_— — 


34 Horace, Lib. 2. 


But ſhould be perfectly content, 
Could I but live on this ſide Trent; 
Nor croſs the Channel twice a Year, 


To ſpend fix Months with $ tateſmen here. 


I muſt by all means come to Town, 
Tis for the Service of the Crown. 
a 1; the Dean will be of Uſe, 
Send for him up, take no Excuſe. 
The Toil, the Danger of the Seas; 
Great Miniſters ne'er think of theſe; 
Or let it coſt Five hundred Pound, 
No matter where the Money's found; 
It is but fo much more in Debt, 


And that they nc'er conſider'd yet. 


10 


15 


© —_— ww RR, - 


— 


20 | 


17. Side aquilg radit terras, ſer bruma nivalem 
Interiore diem gyro trahit, ire neceſſe eſt, 


0” ʒ 2 —— . ” 


— —— ———— — — — 


— 


Fat. 6. Imitated. 


— — 


« Good Mr. Dean go change your Gown, 


« Let my Lord know you're come to Town. 


I hurry me in haſte away, 

Not thinking it is Levee-Day; 

And find his Honour in a Pound, 

Hemnr'd by a triple Circle round, 
Chequer'd with Ribbons blew and green ; 
How ſhould I thruſt my ſelf between? 
Some Wag obſerves me thus perplext, 
And ſmiling, whiſpers to the next, 


I thought the D-- - had been too proud, 


Jo juſtle here among a Crowd. 


Another in a ſurly Fit, 


Tells me I have more Zeal than Wit, 


D 2 


*Y 


30 


143 
MN 


It Quid is inſuue, IT quas res agis? imiprobus arget, 
Iratis prectbas, tu palſes « omae qu A. ae, 
Ad Mecænatem memori ft mente recarras. 
Illic ju vat, & melli eft, non mentiar.— 


he — 


36 Horace, Lib. ii. | 


« So eager to expreſs your Love, | 


« You ne'er conſider whom you ſhove, 

« But rudely preſs before a Duke. 

I own, Pm pleas'd with this Rebuke, 49 
And take it kindly meant to ſhow 


What I deſire the World ſhould know. 


I get a Whiſper, and withdraw, 


When twenty Fools I never ſaw 


Come with Petitions fairly pen'd, 45 
Deſiring I would ſtand their Friend. 


This, humbly offers me his Caſe -- | 
That, begs my Intereſt for a Place - -- 
A hundred other Men's Affairs 
Like Becs, are humming in my Ears. 50 | 


cc To 


Alien negotia ceutum, 
Per caput, I circa fatiunt latus. 


_ — 


Sat. 6. Imitated. 


| — Pg” 


« To morrow my Appeal comes on, 

« Without your Help the Cauſe is gone - - 
The Duke expects my Lord and you, 
About tome great Affair, at Two - -- 
Put my Lord Bolrngbroke in Mind, 

« To get my Warrant quickly ſign'd: 

*© Conſider, tis my firſt Requeſt, - - - 

Be ſatisfy d, I'll do my beſt : - - - 


Then preſently he falls to teize, 

« You may for certain, if you pleaſe ; 60 
4 doubt not, if his Lordſhip knew - - - 

* And Mr. Dean, one Word from you - - - 


'Tis (let me ſee) three Years and more, 


(October next, it will be four) 
D 3 Since 


60. ---- Si vis, potes, addit & mſtat. 

63. Septimus octado proprior jam ſugerit anus, 
Ex quo {Hecenas me cepit habere ſuoram 
In numero; duntaxat ad hoc, quem tvilere rhedd, 
Vellet iter faciens, & cui concredere nugas. 


38 Horace, Lib. 2. 


— — 2 


—B 


Since HARL xx bid me firſt attend, 65 
And choſe me for an humble Friend; 

Would take me in his Coach to chat, 

And queſtion me of this and that; 

As, What's a-Clock? And, © How's the Wind? 


Whoſe Chariot's that we left behind? 70 


Or gravely try to read the Lines 
Writ underncath the Country Sigus; 
Or, „Have you nothing new to day 


From Pope, from Parnel, or from Gay? 


Such Tattlc often entertains 77 


My Lord and me as far as rains, 
As once a Week we travel down 
To iudſor, and again to Town, 
Where all that paſſes, inter mos, 


Miglit be proclaim'd at Charing-Cro/s. 80 


Vet 


— uy — 


— 11 —— m__ 


” uy —_ 


* —_— — _ _ 


— —-— @ 


Sat. 6. Imitated. 39 


Yet ſome I know with Envy ſwell, 


Becauſe they ſee me us'd fo well : 
« How think you of our Friend the Dean? 


« wonder what ſome People mean; 

« My Lord and he are grown ſo great, 85 
« Always together, tete à tete 

„What, they admire him for his Jokes - 

* See but the Fortune of ſome Folks ! 

There flies about a ſtrange Report 


Of ſome Exprets arriv*d at Court; 90 
Pm ſtopt by all the Fools I meet, 


And catechis'd in ev Ty Street. 


* You, Mr. Dean frequent the Great ; 


Inform us, will the Emp'ror treat? 


D 4 « Or 


81 Sab fectior in diem & Haram 

Iavidig. -- . | g 
89. Frigidus a Roſtris manat per compita rumor; 
ic unque obvius eſt, me conſulit. 


mn. 
—y— 


40 Horace, Lib. 2. 


« Or do the Prints and Papers lye ? 95 
Faith Sir, you know as much as J. 

« Ah Doctor, how you love to jeſt ? 

« *Tis now no Secret - - I proteſt 


"Tis one to me. - - © Then, tell us, pray 


« When are the Troops to have their Pay? 100 


And, though I ſolemnly declare 
I know no more than my Lord Mayer, 
They ſtand amaz'd, and think me grown 


The cloſeſt Mortal ever known. 


Thus in a Sea of Folly toſt, 105 
My choiceſt Hours of Life are loſt; 
Yet always wiſhing to retreat; 
Oh, could I fee my Country Scat! 
There 


101. Jurautem me ſcire nibil, mirantur, ut uu 
Sc:l.cet egregii mortale;a, altique ſilenti. 

108. O Ras, quando ego te aſpiciam, quandogue licebit 
Nuac veterum libris, nunc ſomno, & inertibus ; 
Ducere ſollicite jucunda ablivia wit? 


7, 


— 


Fat. 6. Iyitated. 


— 


| There leaning near a gentle Brook, 
| Sleep, or peruſe ſome antient Book ; 110 
And there in ſweet Oblivion drown 


Thoſe Cares that haunt the Court and Town. 


„ r Wo is — 


THE 


42 RAY 


—— 


THE 


HAPPY LIFE | 


OF A | 


= 
- 
mn. 


Country PARSON. 


In Imitation of MARTIAI. 


Þ ARsoO N, theſe Things in thy poſſeſſing 
Arc better than the Biſhop's Bleſſing. 


A IVife that makes Conſerves; a Steed 

That carries double when there's need : 

October, ſtorc, and beſt Virginia, 

Tythe-Pig, and mortuary Guinea: | 
Gazettes {ent Gratis down, and frank'd, 


For which thy Patron's weekly thank'd: 


— 


Happy Life of aCountry Parſon. 4.3 


A large Concordance, (bound long ſince,) 
Sermons to Charles the Firſt, when Prince; 

A Chronicle of antient ſtanding ; 

A Chryſoſtom to ſmooth thy Band in: 

The Polyglott three Parts, --- my Text, 
Howbeit, -- - ikewiſe - - - now to my next, 
Lo here the Septuagmt, --- and Paul, 

To ſum the hole, - == the Cloſe of all, 


He that has theſe, may paſs his Life, 
Drink with the ?Squire, and kiſs his Wife; 
On Sundays preach, and eat, his Fill ; 

And faſt * Fridays, if he will; 

Toaſt Church and Queen, explain the News, 
Talk with Church-Wardens about Pews, 
Pray heartily for ſome new Gift, 


And ſhake his Head at Doctor F- r. 


A 


TALE of Cnavcrs. 


Lately found in an old Manuſcript. 


V ED , tho? nat ſans Leacherie, 
Ne ſwinken but with Secrecie: 

This in our Tale is plain y-fond, 

Of Clerk, that wonneth in Irelond : 

Which to the Fennes hath him betake, 


To filch the gray Ducke fro the Lake. 
Right then, there paſſen by the Way, 


His Aunt, and eke her Daughters tway : 
Ducke in his Trowzes hath he hent, 
Not to be ſpied of Ladies gent. 

% But ho! our Nephew, (crieth one,) 


* Ho! quoth another, Cozen John 


And 


+ # 
: 
' 
' 
* 


—— 


* 


A Tale of CH auc. 45 


—_— 


nn 


And ſtoppen, and lough, and callen out, - - - 
This ſely Clerk full low doth lout : 

They asken that, and talken this, 

« Lo here is Coz. and here is Miſs. 

But, as he glozeth with Speeches ſoote, 

The Ducke fore tickleth his Erſe Roote: 
Fore- piece and Buttons all- to- breſt, 

Forth thruſt a white Neck, and red Creſt. 
Te- be cry*d Ladies: Clerke nought ſpake: 
Miſs ſtar d; and gray Ducke crieth Quaale. 
« O Moder, Moder, (quoth the Daughter, 
« Be thilke ſame Thing Maids longen a'ter? 
« Bette is to pyne on Coals and Chalke, 


*© Than truſt on Mon, whoſe yerde can talle. 


THE 


1 


THE 


1 A L L E. 1 # 


— 


An Imitation of SYH N SER. 


I. 


N ev'ry Town, where Thamzs rolls his Tyde, 
1 A narrow Paſs there is, with Houſes low; 
Where ever and anon, the Stream is ey'd, 

And many a Boat ſoft fliding to and fro. 

There oft? are heard the Notes of Infant Woe, 
The ſhort thick Sob, loud Scream, and ne Squaw]: 
How cn ye, Mothers, ves your Children 0; 
Some play, ſome eat, tome cack againit the Wall, 


And as they crouchen low, for Bread and Butter call. 


II. 


— 


| 


o 
| 


* 
* 
| | 


* 
* 


Imitation of SyENSER. 47 


II. 


And on the broken Pavement here and there, 
Doth many a ſtinking Sprat and Herring lie; 

A Brandy and Tobacco Shop is near, 

And Hens, and Dogs, and Hogs are feeding by ; 
And here a Sailor's Jacket hangs to dry : 


At ev'ry Door are Sun-burnt Matrons ſeen, 


Mending old Nets to catch the ſcaly Fry; 


Now ſinging ſhrill, and ſcolding eft between, 
Scolds anſwer ioul-mouth'd Scolds; bad Neighbour- 


hood I ween. 


III. 


The tnappiſh Cur, (the Paſſengers annoy ) 

Cloſe at my Heel with yelping Treble flies; 

The whimp'ring Girl, and hoarſer-ſcreaming Boy, 
Join to the yelping Treble ſhiilling Cries ; 


The 


4 


48 The ALLEr. 


The ſcolding Quean to louder Notes doth riſe, 

And her full Pipes thoſe ſhrilling Cries confound : 
To her full Pipes the grunting Hog replies ; 

* he grunting Hogs alarm the Neighbours round, 
And Curs, Girls, Boys, and Scolds, in the deep Baſe 


are drown'd. 


IV. 


Hard by a Sty, beneath a Roof of Thatch, 
Dwelt Ob/oguy, who in her carly Days ' 
Baskets of Fiſh at Billing ſgate did watch, 


Cod, Whiting, Oyiter, Mackrel, Sprat, or Plaice: | 

There learn'd ſhe Speech from Tongues that never 
ceaſe. 

Slander beſide her, like a Magpyc, chatters, 

With Ezvy, (ſpitting Cat,) dread Foe to Peace: 


Like a curſt Cur, Malice before her clatters, 


— _— * 


And vexing ev'ry Wight, tears Cloaths and all to | 
Tatters, V. | 


—— — 


— 9 tn te. Y — 


— 


Imitation of SYEN SER. 49 


—— 


Ne CO EI I 
— 


V. 


Her Dugs were mark'd by ey'ry Collier's Hand, 
Her Mouth was black as Bull-Dog's at the Stall : 


She ſcratched, bit, and ſpar d nor Lace and Band, 
And Bitch and Rogue her Anſwer was at all ; 
Nay, ev'n the Parts of Shame by Name would call 
Whene'er ſhe paſſed by or Lane or Nook, 


Would greet the Man who turn'd him to the Wall, 


And by his Hand obſcene the Porter took, 


Nor ever did askance like modeft Virgin look. 
VI. 


ouch Place hath Deptford, Navy- building Town, 
FYookwich and Ir apping, tmelling ſtrong of Pitch; 
Such Lambeth, Enyy of cach Band and Gown, 


And Twick'nam ſuch, which fairer Scenes enrich, 
Grots, Statues, Urns, and Jo- s Dog and Bitch : 
E. Ne 


- 
A 


50 The ALLE. g 


— 


Ne Village is without, on either ſide, 

All up the ſilver Thames, or all a down; 

Ne Richmond's telf, from whoſe tall Front is ey'd 
Vales, Spires, meandring Streams, and Wind ſor's 


tow'ry Pride. 


THE 


TT OT OO m—_— 
WY 


51 


THE 


Carons TALE: 


TO 4 


Lapy who father'd her Lampaono 


upon her Acquaintance. 


N 7orkſhire dwelt a ſober Yeoman, 
Whoſe Wife, a clean, pains-taking Woman, 


Fed num'rous Poultry in her Pens, 


And ſaw her Cocks well ſerve her Hens. 


A Hen ſhe had, whoſe tuneful Clocks 
Drew after her a Train of Cocks 
With Eyes fo piercing, yet fo pleaſant, 
You would have ſworn this Hen a Pheaſant. 


E 2 


All 


n 


32 The Capon's Tale. 


— 


All the plum'd Beau- monde round her gathers ; 
Lord! what a Bruſtling up of Feathers ! 


Morning from Noon there was no knowing, 


There was ſuch Flutt'ring, Chuckling, Crowing 


Each forward Bird muſt thruſt his head in, 
And not a Cock but would be treading. 


Yet tender was this Hen fo fair, 
And hatch'd more Chicks than ſhe could recai. 


Our prudent Dame bethought her then 
Of tome Dry-Nurte to fave her Hen 5 
She made a Capon drunk: In fine 
He cat the Sops, ſhe Hpp'd the Wine: 
lis Rump well pluck'd with Nettles ſtings, 
And claps the Brood beneath his Wings. 


The 


* 
; 


335³⁵ —ůꝛ K — 


— . rr, od 
cr 


ä 


The Capon's Tale. 53 


The feather'd Dupe awakes content, 
O'erjoy'd to ſee what God had ſent. 
Thinks he's the Hen, clocks, keeps a Pother, 
A fooliſh Foſter-Father-Mother. 


Such, Lady Mary, are your Tricks; 
But fince you hatch, pray own your Chicks : 
You ſhould be better skill'd in Nocks, 
Nor like your Capons, ſerve your Cocks. 


E 3 VERSES 


VERSE S 


Lapy's Ivory Table-Book. 


ERUSE my Leaves thro? ev'ry Part, 
; ' And think thou ſeeſt my Owner's Heart, 


ScrawPd o'er with Trifles thus, and quite 


As hard, as ſenſeleſs, and as light; 
Expoſed to every Coxcomb?s Eyes, 
But hid with Caution from the Wie. 


Here you may read (Dear charming Saint) 


Beneath (A new Recerpt for Paint) 


Here in Beau-ſpelling (ru tel Deth,) 
There in her own ( far an el breth.) | 
Here (/vely Nymph pronounce my Doom,) 
There (a /afe I/ay to uſe Perfume; $ 

| Here 


RT” ———_—— 


Verſes on a Lady's T able-Book. 


55 


AY 


— 


Here a Page fill'd with Billet- Doux; 

On t'other Side (aid out for Shoes : ) 
(Madam, I die without your Grace,) 
(Item, for half a Tard of Lace.) 

Who that had Wit would place it here, 
For every peeping Fop to jeer * 

In Power of Spittle, and a Clout, 
Whene'er he pleaſe to blot it out; 

And then, to heighten the Diſgracc, 
Clap his own Nonſenſe in the Place. 

W hoe?er expects to hold his Part 

In ſuch a Book and ſuch a Heart, 

If he be wealthy, and a Fool, 

Is in all Points the fitteſt Tool; 

Of whom it may be juſtly ſaid, 

He's a Golden Pencil tipp'd with Lead. 


E 4 


1 0 


TQ TFHELR 


EXCELLENCIES 


IHE 


Loxps Jus Ticks of Ireland. | 


The Humble Petition of Frances Harris, 1 
Who muſt ſtarve, and die a Maid if it mi ſcarries. 


Flumbly ſheweth, 


HAT I went to warm myſelf in Lady 
Betty's Chamber becaute I was cold, 


And I had in a Purſe Seven Pound, Four Shillings - | 
and Six Pence, beſides Farthings, in Moncy and 


Gold; 


80 


— — 


Mrs. Harris's Petition. 57 


— 


"—_— 


So becauſe I had been buying Things for my Lady 
laſt Night, 

I was reſolved to tell my Money, to ſee if it was 
right : 

Now you muſt know, becauſe my Trunk has a 
very bad Lock, 


Therefore all the Money I have, which, God 
knows, 1s a very ſmall Stock, 

I keep in my Pocket, ty*'d about my Middle, next 
my Smock. 


So when I went to put up my Purſe, as God would 
have 1t, my Smock was unript, 


4 


And inſtead of putting it into my Pocket, down it 
ſlipt: 

Then the Bell rung, and I went down to put my 
Lady to Bed, 


And, God knows, I thought my Money was as ſafe 
as my Maidenhead. 


— 


Mrs. Harris's Petition. 


2 ů — 


» So when I came up again, I found my Pocket feel 
very light, 
But when I ſearch'd, and miſs'd my Purſe, Lord 
[ thought I ſhould have ſunk outright: 


Lord! Madam, ſays Mary, how d'ye do? Indeed, 
fays I, never worle : 


But pray, Mary, can you ** what I have done 
with my Purſc! 


Lord help me, ſaid Mary, I never ſtur'd out of this 
Place: 


Nay, faid I, I had it in Lady Berty's Chamber, 
tliat's a plain Caſe: 


So Mary got me to Bed, and cover'd me up warm; 


However ſhe ſtole away my Garters, that I might 
do myſelf no Harm: 


So I tumbl'd and toſs'd all Night, as you may very 
well think, 


But hardly cver let my Eyes rogether, or flept 2 
Wink. a 


$9 


* 


| 


— 


— CC_— 


' Mrs. Harris's Petition. 59 


80 I was a-dream'd, methought, that VW went and 


ſearch'd the Folks round, 


And in a Corner of Mrs. Dukes's Box, ty'd in a Rag, 
the Money was found. 


So next Morning we told Jhittle, and he fell a 
Swearing ; 


Then my Dame Waagar came, and ſhe, you know, 
is thick of Hearing : | 


Dame, ſaid I, as loud as I could bawl, Do you 
know what a Loſs I have had? 

Nay, ſaid ſhe, my Lord “ Colluays Folks are all 
very ſad; 

For my Lord t Dromedary comes a Tueſday with- 


out fail; 
Pugh ! faid I, but that's not the Buſineſs that J ail. 


Says Cary, ſays he, I have been a Servant this Five 
and twenty Years, come Spring, 


And in all the Places I liv'd, I never heard of ſuch 
a Thing, 
Yes, 


— 


* Gallway, + Drogheda. 


60 Mrs. Harris's Petition. 


Yes, ſays de Steward, I remember when I was at 


my Lady Shrewsbury's, 


Such a Thing as this happen'd, juſt about the Time 
of Goosberries. 


So I went to the Party ſuſpected, and I found her 
full of Grief; 


(Now you muſt know, of all Things in the World, 
L hate a Thief.) 


However, I was refoly'd to bring the Diſcourſe flily 
about ; 


Mrs. Dukes, ſaid I, here's an ugly Accident has 
happen*d out: 


Tis not that I value the Money three Skips of a 
Louſe; 


But the Thing I ſtand upon is, the Credit of the 
Houle : | 


"Tis true, Seven Pounds, four Shillings, and Six 
Pence, makes a great Hole in my Wages; 


Beſides, as they ſay, Service is no Inheritance in 


theſe Ages. 


Now, 


Vs 


mi. — ˙˙ r — —_— I th 8 


Mrs. Harris's Petition. 61 


— 


— 


Now, Mrs. Dukes, you know, and every Body un- 
derſtands, 

That tho” tis hard to judge, yet Money can't go 
without Hands. 


The Devil take me, ſaid ſhe (bleſſing herſelf,) if 
ever I ſaw't! 


So ſhe roar'd like a Bedlam, as tho? I had call'd her 
all to naught : 


So you know, what could I fay to her any more; 


I &en left her, and came away as wiſe as I was be- 
fore. 


Well : But then they would haye had me gone to 
the Cunning Man ; 
No, ſaid I, tis the fame Thing, the Chaplain will 


be here anon. 


So the Chaplain came in: Now the Seryants fay 
he is my Sweetheart, 


Becauſe he's always in my Chamber, and I always 
take his Part; 


62 Mrs. Harris's Petition. 


em 


So, as the Devil would have it, before I was aware, 
out I blunder'd, 


Parſon, ſaid I, can you caſt a Nativity, when a " 
Body's plunder'd ? 


(Now you muſt know, he hates to be call'd Parſon 
like the Devil.) 


Truly, ſays he, Mrs. Nab, it might become you 
to be more civil: 


If your Money be gone, as a learned Divine ſays, | 
d'ye ſee, 


You are no Text for my Handling, 1o take that 
from me : 


I was never taken for a Conjurer before, I'd have 
you to know : 


Lord, ſaid I, don't be angry, I am ture I never 
thought you 1o : 


You know, I honour the Cloth, I defign to be 2 
Par ſou's Wife, 


L never took one in your Coat for a Conßurer in all 
my Life. | 


With 


: 
U 


1 


—— . — 
a 


* | * 


Mrs. Harris's Petition. 63 


— — 


— 


Wich that, he twiſted his Girdle at me like a Rope, 
as who ſhould ſay, 


Now you may go hang yourſelf for me, and ſo 
went away. 

Well, I thought I ſhould have ſwoon'd; Lord, 
ſaid I, what ſhall I do? 


I have loſt my Money, and ſhall loſe my True-Love 
00. 


Then my Lord call'd me; Harry, ſaid my Lord, 
don't cry, 


III give ſomething towards thy Loſs; and ſays my 
Lady, fo will I. 


Oh! but faid I, what if after all my Chaplain 
won't come to? 


For that, he faid, (an't pleaſe your Excellencies,) 
I muſt petition You. 


The Premiſes tenderly conſiderꝰd, I defire your Ex- 
cellencies Protection, 


And that I may haye a Share in next Sunday's Col 
lection: And 


— 


rris's Petition. 


1 


64 Mrs. Ha 


lencies Letter, 


With an Order for the Chaplain aforeſaid ; or in- 
ſtead of him, a better: 


And then your poor Petitioner, both Night and Day, 


Or the Chaplain (for 'tis his Trade) as in Duty 
bound, ſhall eyer Pray. 


| 


— — 


And over and above, that I may have your Excel. 


; 


* 


Lady 


| 65 


Lady) B--- B--- finding in the Au- 
by 4 s Room ſome V mA unſiniſped, 

mderwrit a Stanza of ber own, 
with Raillery upon him, which 


| gave Occaſion to this Ballad. 


| To the Tune of the Cutpur ſe. 


O 


1 Latin; 


I. 
NC E on a Time, as old Stories rehearſe, 


A Friar would needs ſhew his Talent in 


But was ſorely put to't in the midſt of a Verſe, 


Becauſe he could find no Word to come pat in. 


Then at the Place 
He left a void Space, 
And fo went to Bed in a deſperate Caſe. 


F When 


ad. 
— SS 


66 Ballad to the Lady B B. 


” 


When behold, the next Morning, a wonderful Riddle, 
He found it was ſtrangely fill'd up in the Middle. 


Cho. Let Cenſuring Criticks then think| what they 
lift ont, 
Who would not write Verſes with ſuch an 
Aſſiſtant * 


II. | 


This put me the Friar into an Amazement, 

For he wiſely conſider'd it muſt be a Sprite, 
That came through the Key-Hole, or in at the Caſe- 
ment, 


And it needs muſt be one that could both Read 
and Write: 
Yet he did not know 


If it were Friend or Foe, 


Or wherher it came from aboye or below. 


Howe'er 


Ballad to the Lady B. B. 67 


On —_— 


Haowe'er it was civil, in Angel or Elf, 


For he neer could have fill'd it io well of himſelf. 


Cho. Let Ceuſuring, XC. 
III. 


Even ſo Maſter Doctor had puzzled his Erains 
In making a Ballad, but was at a Stand; 
He had mix*d little Wit with a great deal of Pains, 


When he found a new Help from inviſible Hand. 
Then good Dr. 5- - - - 


Pay Thanks for the Gift, 
For you freely muſt own you were at a dead Litt : 
And tho* ſome malicious young Spirit did do't, 


You may know by the Hand it had no Cloyen Foot. 


Cho. Let Cenſurimg, &c. 


„ HOUSE. 


Built from the Ruins of Whitehall 
that was Burnt. 


I N Times of Old, when Time was Toung, | 
And Poets their own Verſes ſung, | 


A Verſe could draw a Stone or Beam 
That now would over-load a Team ; 
Lead 'em a Dance of many a Mile, 

Then rear em to a goodly Pile. 

Each Number had its difffrent Pow'r; 
Heroick Strains could build a Tow?r ; 
Sonnets, or Elegies to Chloris 

Might raiſe a Houſe about two Stories; 
A Lyrick Ode would ſlate; a Catch 
Would tile, an Epigram would thatch. 


But 


1 


2 Houſe. 69 


—— 


— 


But to their own, or Landlord's Coſt, 
Now Poets feel this Art is loſt; 
Not one of all our tuneful Throng 
Can raiſe a Lodging for a Hong. 
For Fove conſider'd well the Caſe, 
Obſerv'd they grew a num*rous Race, 
And ſhould they Build as faſt as JF7te, 
*T would ruin Undertakers quite. 
This Evil therefore to prevent, 
He wiſely chang'd their Element: 
On Earth the God of Wealth was made 
Sole Patron of the Building Trade, 
Leaving the Wits the ſpacious Air 
With Licence to build Caſtles there: 


And 'tis conceiy'd their old Pretence 


To lodge in Garrets, comes from thence. 


F ; Pre- 


70 WV ——s Houſe. 


LA 


Premiſing thus in modern Way 


The better Half we have to ſay; 
Sing Muſe the Houſe of Poet 


a * 


In higher Strains than we began. 


LY - -- - (for tis fit the Reader know it, 


\4 


Is both a Herald and a Poct : | 


No wonder then, if nicely skill'd 


ht. 


In both Capacities to build. 

As Herald, he can in a Day, 

Repair a Hlonſe gone to Decay; 

Or by Archievement, Arms, Device, 
Erect a new one in a Tricc. 

And as a Poct he has Skill 

To build in Speculation ſtill. 

Great 7ote he cry'd, the Art reſtore 


|. 1 1 3 6 j e 3 1 0 7 2 
10 bull; NY \ Elle 23 [YCICTOTOTC : 


And 


—ͤ —U—m—— 


2 


5s Houſe. 


| And make my Muſe the Architect; 

| What Palaces ſhall we erect! 

No longer ſhall forſaken Thames 

| Lament his old //h:tehall in Flames: 
A Pile ſhall from its Aſhes rife, 


Fit to invade, or prop the Skies. 


Fove ſmil'd, and like a gentle God, 
Conſenting with the uſual Nod, 

Told - he knew his Talent belt, 
And left the Choice to his own Breaft. 
So Y---- retoly'd to write a Farce; 
But well perceiving Wit was tcarce, 
With Cunning that Defect ſupplies; 
Takes a French Play as lawful Prize ; 
Steals thence his-Plot, and ev*ry Joke, 


Not once ſuſpecting Jove would Smoke ; 


H 4 And 


a — 
— 


72 — Houſe. 


And (like a Wag) fat down to write, 
Would whiſper to himſelf, a Bite. 
Then from the motly, mingled Style 
Proceeded to erect his Pile. 
So Men of old, to gain Renown, did | 
Build Babel with their Tongues confounded. 
Joxe ſaw the Cheat, but thought it beſt 


To turn the Matter to a Jeſt : 


Down from Olympus Top he ſlides, 

Laughing as if he'd burſt his Sides: 

Ay, thought the God, are theſe your Tricks? 
Why then o Plays deſerve old Bricks 

And ſince you're ſparing of your Stuff, 

Your Building ſhall be ſmall cnough. 

He tpake, and grudging, lent his Aid; 

Th experienc'd Bricks that knew their Trade, 


(As being Bricks at ſecond Hand,) 


Now move, and now in Order ſtand. 


JV ——'s Honſe. 73 


— —_ 


The Building, as the Poet writ, 
Roſe in Proportion to his Wit: 
And firſt the Prologue built a Wall, 
So wide as to encompaſs all. 
The Scene, a Wood, produc'd no more 
Than a few ſcrubby Trees before. 
The Plot as yet lay deep, and ſo 


A Cellar next was dug below : 
But this a Work 1o hard was found, 


Two Acts it coſt him under Ground. 
Two other Acts we may preſume 
Were ſpent in building each a Room: 
Thus far advanc' d, he made a Shift 
To raiſe a Roof with Act the Fifth. 
The Epilogue behind, did frame 


A Place not decent here to name. 


Now 


74 s Houſe. 


Now Pocts from all Quarters ran 


To ſce the Houte of Brother: 


Look'd high and low, walk*d often round, 


But no ſucli Houſe was to be found: 
One asks the V/ atermen hard by, 
M here may the Poets Palace lie? 
Another of the Thames enquires, 

If he has tcen its gilded Spires? 

At length they in the Rubbiſh ſpy 
A Thing retembling a Gooſe-Pye: 
Farther in haſte the Poets throng, 
And gaze in filent Wonder long, 


Till one in Raptures thus began 


To praiſe the Pile and Builder 


Thrice happy Poct, who may trail 


Thy Houtc about thee like a Snatl ; 


Or 


6 — —— 


_—— — 


2 ——s Houſe. 75 


Or harneſs'd to a Nag, at Eaſe 

Take Journeys in it like a Chaiſe; 

Or in a Boat, whene*er thou wilt, 

Can't make it ſerve thee for a Tilt. 
Capacious Houſe ! 'tis own'd by all, 
Thou'rt well contriy'd, tho” thou art ſmall ; 
For ev'ry Wit in Britain's Iſle 

May lodge within thy ſpacious Pile. 

Like Bacchus thou, as Poets feign, 

Thy Mother burnt, art born again; 

Born like a Phenix from the Flame, 

But neither Bulk nor Hape the tame; 

As Animals of largeſt . 

Corrupt to Maggots, Worms, and Flies; 

A Type of Moderu Wit and Style, 

The Rubbiſh of an antient Pile - 
So Chymi/ts boaſt they have a Pow'r / 
From the dead Aſhes of a Flow'r, os 


Some. 


n 


76 V——s Houſe. 


— 


Some faint Reſemblance to produce, 
But not the Virtue, Taſte, or Juice. 
So modern Rhymers witely blaſt 
The Poetry of Ages paſt, 

Which after they have overthrown, 


They krom its Ruins build their own. 


5 i 


HE 


WA 


„„ —— 


The Hiftory of V—'s Houſe. 77 


THE 


SEES ET S&T RE 


F 


V8 H O 8 E. 


W HEN Mother Clud had roſe from Play 
And call'd to take the Cards away, 


L.--- taw, but icem'd not to regard, 
How Mzſs pick'd ev'ry painted Card; 
And buſy both with Hand and Eyc, 
Soon rear'd a Houſe two Stories high; 
s Genius, without Thought or Lecture, 
Is hugely turn'd to Architecture: 
He view'd the Edifice and ſmil'd, 
Vow'd it was pretty for a Child: 
It 


e 
1 


58 The Hiſtory of V- Houſe. 


It was ſo perfect in its Kind, 
He kept the Model in his Mind. 


But when he found the Boys at Play, 
And ſaw them dabbling in their Clay, 
He ſtood behind a Stall to lurk, 


And mark the Progreſs of their Work; 
With truc Delight obſerv'd em all 
Raking up Aud to build a Wall! 
The Plan he much admir'd, and took 
The Model in his Table-Book; 
Thought himſelf now exactly skill'd, 
And to retoly'd a Houſe to build; 

A real Houſe, and Rooms, and Stairs. 
Five Times at leaſt as big as theirs ; 
Taller than Miſe's by two Yards, 
Not a tham Thing of Clay or Cards: 


And 


„ #8 . * — — 


— 


The Hiftory of V---'s Houſe. 79 


TITTIES 


And fo he did ; for in a while 

He built up ſuch a monſtrons Pile, 
That no two Chairmen could be found 
Able to lift it from the Ground: 
Still at Mhiteball it ſtands in View, 


Juſt in the Place where firſt it grew: 
There all the little School-Boys run, 


Envying to fee themſelves out-done. 


From ſuch deep Rudiments as theſe, 
is become by due Degrecs; 
For building fam'd, and juſtly reckon'd 
At Court, Titruviuc the Serond. 
No wonder, ſince wiſe Authors ſhow, 
That beſt Foundations muſt be lou; 
And now the Dake has wiſely ta%en him 


To be his Architef at Blemheim : 


But 


* 


6 


80 The Hiftory of V— 7 Houſe. 


But Raillery for once apart, 
If this Rule holds in ev'ry Art; 


Or if his Grace were no more skill'd in 


The Art of Battering Walls than Building; 


We might expect to ſee next Year, 
A Mouſe-Trap Man chief Engineer. 


X 


— 


VIRTUES 


SID HAMET 


THE 


81 


| 


Magicians Ro p. 


HE Rod was but a harmleſs Wand, 
While Moſes held it in his Hand; 


But ſoon as c'er he laid it down, 


"Twas a deyouring Serpent grown. 


| Our great Magician, Flamet Sid, 
| Reverſes what the Prophet did: | 
8 His 


82 SD Hamer. 


His Rod was honeſt Eugliſb Wood, 
That ſenſeleſs in a Corner ſtood, 
Till metamorphos'd by his Graſp, 
It grew an all-deyouring Aſp; 
Would hiſs, and fting, and roll, and twiſt, | 
By the mere Virtue of his Fiſt : 
But when he laid it down, as quick 
Reſum'd the Figure of a Stick. 


So to her Midnight Feaſts the Hag 
Rides on a Broomſtick for a Nag, 
That rais'd by Magick of her Breech, 
O'er Sea and Land conveys the Witch : 


But with the Morning Dawn, reſumes 


The peaceful State of common Brooms. 


They tell us ſomething ſtrange and odd, 


About a certain Magick Rod, 
That, 


_— 
8 


Sip HAMExr. 83 


That, bending down its Top, divines 
Whene'er the Soil has golden Mines : 
Where there are none, it ſtands erect, 
Scorning to ſhew the leaſt Reſpect. 
As ready was the Wand of Sid 

To bend where Golden Mines were hid ; 
In Scottzh Hills found precious Ore, 
Where none c'er look'd for it before: 
And by a gentle Bow divin'd 

How well a Cullh's Purſe was lin'd : 
To a forlorn and broken Rake, 

Stood without Motion, like a Stake. 


The Rod of Hermes was renown'd 
For Charms above and under Ground ; 
To fleep could mortal Eye-lids fix, 
And driye departed Souls to Styx. 


G 2 That 


— 


84 Sip HAMET. 


hs ett 


That Rod was juſt a Type of Sid's, 
Which o'er a Britiſh Senate's Lids 


Could ſcatter Opium full as well, 


And drive as many Souls to Hell. 


$:4's Rod was ſender, white, and tall. 
Which oft he us'd to h withal: 
A Pract was faſten'd to the Hook, 


And many Score of Guageons took; 
Yet ſtill fo happy was his Fate, 


He caught his Fiſb, and ſav'd his Bait. 


| 
| Sid's Brethren of the conj'ring Tribe 
| | A Circle with their Rod deſcribe; 
| 
| 


Which proves a magical Redoubt 


To keep iſehievous Spirits out: 


$:4's Rod was of a larger Stride, 
And made a Circle thrice as wide, 


W here 


StD HAMET. 35 


Where Spirits throng'd with hideous Din, 
And he ſtood there to take them in. 
But when th' enchanted Rod was broke, 


They vaniſh'd in a ſtinking Smoke. 


Achilles Scepter was of Wood, 
Like Sid's, but nothing near ſo good: 
That down from Anceſtors divine, 


Tranſmitted to the Heroes Line, 


Thence thro? a long Deſcent of Kings, 
Came an Veit loom, as Homer ings : 
Tho? this Deſcription looks ſo big, 
That Scepter was a ſapleſs Twig ; 
Which, from the fatal Day, when firſt 
It left the Foreſt where *twas nurs'd, 
As Homer tells us o'er and o'er, 


7 | . | 
Nor Leaf, nor Fruit, nor Bloſſom bore. 


(G2 $1d's 


86 Sip HAaMET. 


— 


Sid's Scepter, full of Juice, did ſhoot 
In Golden Boughs, and Golden Fruit; 
And he, the Dragon never ſleeping, 
Guarded each fair Heſperian Pippin. 
No Hobby Horſe, with gorgeous Top, 
The deareft in Charles Mather's Shop, 
Or glitt'ring Tinſel of May-Farr, 
Could with this Rod of $:4 compare. 


Dear Sid, then why wer't thou ſo mad, 
To break thy Rod like naughty Lad * 
You ſhould have kiſs'd it in your Diſtreſs, 
And then return'd it to your Miſtreſs ; 
Or made it a Newmarket Switch, 

And not a Rod for thy own Breech. 
For ſince old Sid has broken this, 
His next will be a Rod in P2{s. 


ATLAS: | 


87 


— 


k T1 4A 


OR, THE 


Miniſter of STATE. 
TO THE 


Lord Treafurer OXFORD. 


A T LAS, we read in antient Song, 


Was 1o exceeding tall and ftrong, 
He bore the Skics upon his Back, 


Juſt as a Pedlar does his Pack: 
But, as a Pedlar overpreſt, 
Unloads upon a Stall to reſt; 
Or, when he can no longer ſtand, 


Deſires a Friend to lend a Hand; 


G 4 = 


1 


— 


88 ATLAS. 


— — 


So Atlas, left the pond'rous Spheres 
Should fink, and fall about his Ears, 
Got Hercules to bear the Pile, 


That he might ſit and reſt a while. 


Yet Hercules was not ſo ſtrong, 


Nor could have born it half fo long. 


Great Stateſmen are in this Condition, 
And Atlas is a Politician, 
A premier Miniſter of State; 
_ Alcides one of ſecond Rate. 
Suppoſe then Atlas ne'er ſo wile, 
Yet when the Weight of Kingdoms lies 
Too long, upon his ſingle Shoulders, 


Sink down he muſt, or find Upholders. 


THE 


1 


DESCRIPTION 


OF 4: 


bd. 
SALAMANDER. 


— 


Out of Pliny's Nat. Hift. ib.1o. c. 67. © lib. 29. c. 4. 
S Maſtive Dogs in modern Phraſe are 


A Call'd Pompey, Scipio, and Ceſar; 
As Pyes and Daus are often ſtyPd 

With Chriſtian Nick-names like a Child; 
As we ſay Monſieur to an Ape, 


Without Offence to human Shape : 
So Men have got from Bird and Brute 
Names that would beſt their Natures ſuit, 
KO The 


. 
* 


90 The SaLAMAN DER. 


The Lion, Eagle, Fox, and Boar 


Were Heroes Titles heretofore, 
Beſtow'd as Hi'roglyphicks fit | 


T' expreſs their Valour, Strength, or Wit. 
For what is underſtood by Fame 


Beſides the getting of a Name? 


I 1 2 


But e' er ſince Men invented Guns, 


A different Way their Fancy runs 


To paint a Hero, we enquire 

For ſomething that will conquer Fire. 

Would you deſcribe Turenne or Trump, 
Think of a Bucket, or a Pump. 

Are theſe too low ? --- then find out grander, 
Call my Lord C- a Salamander. 

'Tis well: ---- But ſince we live among 


Detractors with an evil Tongue, 


Who may object againſt the Term ; 
Pliny ſhall proyc what we affirm : 
Oo Pliny | 


The SALAMANDER. 91 


Pliny ſhall prove, and we'll apply, 
And I'll be judg'd by Standers-by. 


Firſt then, our Author has defin'd 
This Reptil of the Serpent Kind, 
With gaudy Coat and ſhining Train, 
But loathſome Spots his Body ftain : 
Out from ſome Hole obſcure he flies, 
When Rains deſcend, and 'Tempeſts riſe, 
Till the Sun clears the Air ; and then 


Crawls back neglected to his Den. 


So when the War has rais'd a Storm, 
I've ſeen a Snake in human Form, 
All ſtain'd with Infamy and Vice, 
Leap from the Dunghill in a Trice, - 
Burniſh, and make a gaudy Show, 
Become a General, Peer, and Beau; 


Till 


— — 


92 The SALAMAN DER. 


— 


Till Peace hath made the Sky ſerene, 
Then ſhrink into its Hole again RE. 


All this we grant -- - why then look youder. 


Sure that muſt be à Salamander | 


Farther we are by Pliny told, 


This Serpent is extreamly cold. 


So cold, that put it in the Fire, 

"Twill make the very Flames expire: 
Beſide, it 1pews a filthy Froth, 

(Whether thro' Rage, or Love, or both, 
Of Matter purulent and white, 

Which happen'd on the Skin to light, 
And there corrupting to a Wound, 


Spreads Leproſy and Baldneſs round. T 


— 


— 


The SALAMANDER. 93 


nn 
— 


So have J ſeen a batter'd Beau, 

By Age and Claps grown cold as Snow, 

Whoſe Breath or Touch, where'er he came, 

Blew out Love's Torch, or chilPd the Flame. 
And ſhould ſome Nymph who nCer was crucl, 
Like Carleton cheap, or fam'd Du-Nuel, 
Receive the Filth which he ejeds ; 
She toon would find the ſame Effects 


Her tainted Carcais to purſue, 

As from the Salamauder's Spue : 
A ditmal Shedding of her Locks, 
And, if no Leproſy, a Pox. 


Then Pl appeal to each By-Stander, 


I's not this ſame a Salamander * 


THE 


HE 


E LE PH ANT: 


Ok IHE 


PaRLIAMENT MAN. 


Written many Years ſince. 


Taken from Coke*s Inſtitutes. 


ER Bribes convince you whom to chulc, 
E. The Precepts of Lord Coke peruſe. 
Obſerve an Elephant, lays he. 

And let like him your Member be: 


Firit take a Man that's free from Gall; 


For Elephants have none at all: 


In . 


T he Parliament Man. 95 


— 


In Flocks or Parties he muſt keep; 
For Elephants live juſt like Sheep: 
|  Stubborn in Honour he muſt be; 


For Elephants cer bend the Knee : 
Laſt let his Memory be ſound, 

In which your Elephant's profound 
That o Examples from the Wife 


May prompt him in his No's and Fs. 


Thus the Lord Coke hath gravely writ. 
In all the Form of Lawyers Wit; 


And then with Latin, and all that, 


Shews the Compariſon is pat. 


Yet in ſome Points my Lord is wrong ; 


One's Teeth are ſold, and t'other's 7 ongue : 


Now Men of Parliament, God knows, 


Are more like Elephants of Shocws : 


W hoſe 


The Parliament Man. | 


— — 


— 


* 


96 


Whoſe docile Memory and Senſe 
Are turn'd to Trick, to gather Pence. 
To get their Maſter half a Crown, 


They ſpread the Flag, or lay it down : 

'Thoſe who bore Bulwarks on their Backs, | 
And guarded Nations from Attacks, 

Now practice cy'ry pliant Geſture 


Opning their Trunk for ev'ry Teſter. 


iam, for Elephants ſo fam'd, 

Is not with England to be nam'd: 
Their Elephants by Men are ſold; | 
Ours tcl] themſelves, and take the Gold. 


AN 
ELEGY 
On the ſuppoſed Death of 
PARTRIGE | 


Almanack - Maker. 


W E LL, tis as Bzcker/taff has gueſt, 
Tho' we all took it for a Jeſt: 


Partrige is dead, nay more, he died 

E'er he could prove the good *Squzrre ly*d. 
Strange, an Aſtrologer ſhould die, 

| Without one Wonder in the Sky! 


H Not 


__ 


98 An Elegy on Partrige. 


Not one of all his Crony Stars 

To pay their Duty at his Herſe? 
No Meteor, no Eclipſe appear'd ? 
No Comet with: a flaming Beard ? 


The Sun has roſe, and gone to Bed, 
Juſt as if Partrige were not dead: 

Nor hid tnmſelf behind the Moon, 

To make a dreadful Night at Noon. 
He at fit Periods walks through Ares, 
Howe'cr ous earthly Motion varies ; 
And tice a Year he'll cut the Equator, 
As if there had been no ſuch Matter. 


* —— ———— — cw — ® +4 


Some Wits have wonder'd what Analogy 
There i; 'twixt * Cibbling and Aſtrology: 


Patti c was a Crbbler, 


— _ 


An Elegy on Partrige. 99 


* — 


How Partrige made his Opticłs rife, 
From a Jhoe-Sole to reach the Skies. 


A Liſt the Cobbler's Temples tics, 
{ To keep the Hair out of their Eyes; 


From whence *tis plain the Diadem 


That Princes wear derives from them. 


And therefore Crowns are now a-days 
Adorn'd with Golden Stars and Rays, 
Which plainly ſhews the near Alliance 


Twixt Cobbling and the Planets Science. 


Beſides, that flow-pac'd Sign Bootes, 


3 - 4 — w-—— a — ” & * 4 


As tis miſcall'd, we know not who 'tis ? 
But Partrige ended all Diſputes, 


He knew his Trade, and call'd it f Boots. 
y | H.2 | The 


——————5ßi1ꝙ 


+ See bis Almanack. 


— —— — — — 


| 100 An Elegy on Partrige. | 


The Horned Moon, which heretofore 
Upon their Shoes the Romans wore, 


Whoſe Wideneſs kept their Toes from Corns, 


And whence we claim our Jhoozng-Horns ; 
Shews how the Art of Cobbling bears 
A near Reſemblance to the Spheres. 


A Scrap of Parchment hung by Geometry, 
(A great Refinement in Barometry) 
Can like the Stars foretel the Weather ; 
And what is Parchment elſe but Leather ? 
Which an Aſtrologer might uſe, | 
Either for Almanacks or Shoes, 


Thus Partrige, by his Wit and Parts, 
At once did practiſe both theſe Arts: 
And as the boading Owl (or rather 


The Bat, becauſe her Wings are Leather) 


Steals 


CCC 


An Elegy on Partrige. 101 


"In nn 


Steals from her private Cell by Night, 
And flies about the Candle-Light; 
So Learned Partrige could as well 


Creep in the Dark from Leathern Cell, 
And in his F ancy fly as far, 
To peep upon a twinkling Star. 


Beſides, he could confound the Spheres, 


And ſet the Planets by the cars: 
To ſhew his Skill, he Mars could join 


To Venus in Aspect Malin; 
Then call in Mercury for Aid, 


| And cure the Wounds that Venus made. 


Great Scholars have in Lucian read, 
When Philip King of Greece was dead, 
His Soul and Spirit did divide, 

And cach Part took a diff*rent Side 


H 3 One 


\ 


102 


An Elegy on Partrige. 


One roſe a Star, the other fell 
Beneath, and mended Shoes in Hell. 


Thus Partrige ſtill ſhines in each Art, 
The Cobbling and Star-gazing Part, 
And is inftalPd as good a Star 
As any of the Cæſars are. 


Triumphant Star! ſome Pity ſhew 
On Cobblers militant below, 
Whom roguiſh Boys in ftormy N ights 
Torment, by piſſing out their Lights; 


5 
Or thro” a Chink convey their Smoke, 
Inclos'd Artificers to choke. 


Thou, high-exalted in thy Sphere, 
May'ſt follow ſtill thy Calling there. 


— 


An Elegy on Partrige. 103 


— 


To thee the Bull will lend his Hide, 
By Phebus newly tann'd and dry'd. 
For thee they Argo's Hulk will tax, 
And ſcrape her pitchy Sides for Max. 
Then Arzadne kindly lends 

Her braided Hair to make thee Ends. 
The Point of Sagittarius Dart 
Turns to an Aul, by heavenly Art: 
And LVulcan, wheedled by his W ife, 
Will forge for thee a Paring-Ruife. 
For want of Room, by Virgo's Side, 
She'll ſtrain a Point, and fir * aſtride, 
To take thee kindly in between, 


And then the Sigur will be Thirteen. 


H 4 The 


* Tit brachia contrahet igens 


Scorpins, &c. 


o -- 


An Elegy on Partrige. 


The EPIT APE: 


E RE, five Foot deep, lies on his Back 
A Cobler, Star-Monger, and Quack; 
Who to the Stars in pure Good-will, 

Does to his beſt look upward flill. 

Weep all you Cuſtomers that uſe 

His Pills, his Almanacks, or Shoes: 

And you that did your Fortunes ſeek, 

Step to his Grave but once a Meet. 

This Earth which bears his Body's Print, 
You'll find; has ſo much V. wie mt, 

That 1 durſt pawn my Ears "twill tell 


Whateer concerns you full as well, 
In Phyſick, Stolen Goods, or Love, 
As be himſelf could, chen above. 


VERSES 


| 105 


VERSES 


To be prefix*d before 


BERNARD LINTOT's 
New MISCELLANY. 


8 


| Some Plantin to the reſt prefer, 
| 


OME Colmens praiſe, ſome Bleau, 


Others account 'em but ſo ſo; 


And ſome eſteem Old-Elzevrr ; 
Others with Aldus would beſot us; 


I, for my Part, admire Lintottis. - - - 


His Character's beyond Compare, 


Like his own Perſon, large and fair. 


They 


106 Verſes to be prefix d before 


They print their Names in Letters ſmall, 
But LI x Tor ftands in Capital: 


Author and he, with equal Grace, 
Appear, and ſtare you in the Face: 
Stephens prints Heathen Greet, tis faid, 


Which ſome can't conſtrue, ſome can't read 


But all that comes from Lintot's Hand 
Evn Ra ----- ſox might underſtand. 
Oft in an Aldus, or a Plantin, 

A Page is blotted, or Leaf wanting : 
Of Lintot's Books this can't be ſaid, | 
All fair, and not fo much as read. 

Their Copy coſt 'em not a Penny 

To Homer, Virgil, or to any ; 

They ne'er gave Sixpence for two Lines, 
To them, their Heirs, or their Aſſigns : 
But Lzntor is at vaſt Expence, 


And pays prodigious dear for - - Senſe. 


Their 


"Ir 


Lintot's New Miſcellany. IO7 


— 


a 


Their Books are uſeful but to few, 

A Scholar, or a Wit or two: 

Lintot's for gen'ral Uſe are fit; 

For ſome Folks read, but alt Folks ſh- -- 


108 


Mr. JOHN MOORE, 


AUTHOR of the 


Celebrated Worm-Powder. 


OW much, egregious Moor, are we 
Deceriv'd by Shews and Forms! 
Whate'er we think, whate'er we ſec, 


| All Humankind are Worms. 


Man is a very Worm by Birth, 


Vile Reptile, weak, and vain ! 


A while he crawls upon the Earth, 
b | Then ſhrinks to Earth again, 


That 


2277 —ͤͤ «Y  -c—c— 


— —ñ—P—ä k —ͤ—ͤöu Pi — — 
N 


* 4 


— 


W 


To Mr. John Moore. 109 


| That Woman is a Worm we find, 


F*er ſince our Grandame's Evil; 
She firſt conyers'd with her own Kind, 


That antient Worm, the Devil. 


The Learn'd themſelves we Book-Worms name; 
The Blockhead is a Slow-worm ; 
The Nymph whoſe Tail is all on Flame 


Is aptly term'd a Glow-worm : 


The Fops are painted Butterflies, 
That flutter for a Day ; 
Firſt from a Worm they take their Riſe, 


And in a Worm decay : 


The Flatterer an Earwig grows; 


Thus Worms ſuit all Conditions; 


Miſers are Muckworms, Silk-worms Beaus, 
And Death-watches Phyſicians. That 


r 


110 To Mr. John Moore. 


— 


That Stateſmen have the Worm, is ſeen 
By all their winding Play; 
Their Conſcience is a Worm within, 


That gnaws them Night and Day. 


Ah Moore! thy Skill were well employ'd, 


And greater Gain would riſe, 


If thou could'ſt make the Courtier void 


The Worm that never dies! 


O learned Friend of Abchurch- Lane, 
Who ſett' ſt our Entrails free ! 
Vain is thy Art, thy Powder vain, 


Since Worms ſhall eat ev'n thee. 


Our Fate thou only can'ſt adjourn 


Some few ſhort Years, no more! 


Ev'n Buttows Wits to Worms ſhall turn, 


Who Maggats were before. VER 8 ES 


— 


111 


VERSES 


Occaſion'd 


By an &c. at the End of Mr. D' Ur- 
fy's Name in the T'itle to one of 
his Plays.* 


OE calld before him t'other Day 
F The Yowels, U, O, I, E, A, 

All Dipthongs, and all Conſonants, 

Either of England or of France; 

And all that were, or wiſh'd to be, 

Rank'd in the Name of Tom D*Urfy. 


Fierce in this Cauſe, the Letters ſpoke all, 


Liquids grew rough, and Mutes turn'd vocal: 
Thoſe 


— — 
—— 


ä 


This Accident happen d by Mr. D' Urfy's Faving made a Fle- 
rſh there, which the Printer miſtuk Jer an &C. 


«. 


— 


112 Verſes occaſion d by an Ke. 


Thoſe four proud Sy llables alone 
Were ſilent, which by Fates Decree 


Chim'd in ſo ſmoothly, one by one, 
To the ſweet Name of Tom D' 'Urfy. 


N, by whom Names ſubſiſt, declar'd, 
To have no Place in this was hard : } 
And Q maintain'd *twas but his Due 
Still to keep Company with U; 
So hop'd to ſtand no leſs than he | 
In the great Name of Tom D' Urfy. | 


E ſhew'd, a Comma ne'er could clatm | 
A Place in any Britih Name; | 
Yet making here a perfe& Botch, | 
Thruſts your poor Vowel from his Notch : 
Hiatus mi valde deflendus /! | 
From which good Jupiter defend us 


SOOncr 


Perſes org um d by an &c. 113 


— — 


Sooner I'd quit my Part in thee, 
Than be no Part in Tom D*Urfy. 


P proteſted, puff d, and ſwore, : 
He'd not be ſerv d fo like a Beaſt; 


He was a Piece of Emperor, 

And made up half a Pope at leaſt. 
C yow'd, he'd frankly have releas'd 
His double Share in Cz/ar Caius, 


For only one in Tom Durfeius. 


1, Conſonant and Vowel tov, 
To Jupiter did humbly ſue, 
That of his Grace he would proclaim 
Daurfeius his true Latin Name; 
For tho? without them both, *rwas clear, 


Himſelf could ne&er be Jupiter; 


1 Let 


114. Verſes occafion'd by an &cc. 


Yet they'd reſign that Poſt ſo high, 
To be the Genitive, Durfei. 


B and L ſwore Bl - -- and W - --s 
X and Z cry'd, P---xand Zs 
G ſwore, by G--d, it ne'er ſhould be; 
And would not loſe, not he, 
An Engliſh Letter's Property, 
In the great Name of Tom Durfy. 


In ſhort, the reſt were all in Fray, 
From Chriſtcroſs to Et cetera. 
They, tho' but Standers- by too, mutter'd ; 
Dipthongs, and Tripthongs, ſwore and ſtutter'd, 
That none had fo much Right to be 
Part of the Name of ſtuttering T - - - 
T -- Tom -= 4 -= as «= De -- Dur =» fe -= 5. 


Then 


— — 


Verſes occaſion d by an &c. 115 


—— 


Then Jove thus ſpake: With Care and Pain 
We form'd this Name, renown'd in Rhyme; 
Not thine, * Immortal Nenufgermain / 

Coſt ſtudious Cabaliſis more Time. 

Vet now, as then, you all declare, 

Far hence to Eg ypt you'll repair, 

And turn ſtrange Hieroglyphicks there; 
Rather than Letters longer be, 

Unleſs i' th? Name of Tom D' Urfy. 


Were you all pleas'd, yet what I pray, 
To foreign Letters cou'd I fay ? 
What if the Hebrew next ſhould aim 
To turn quite backward D"Urf9gs Name? 


Should the Greek quarrel too, by Styx, I 
Cou'd ne'er bring in P/7 and X i; 
1 2 Omi- 


* A Poet, who aſed to make Verſes ending with the laſt Syllables 
of the Names of thoſe Perſins he praiſed: Which Voiture twrn'd 


ag ainſt him ia Poem of the ſame kind, 


— 


116 Verſes occaſion d by an &c. 


— 


2» 


Omicron and Omega from us 

Wou'd each hope to be O in Thomas; 
And all th' ambitious Vowels vie, 

No leſs than Pythagorick J, 

To have a Place in Tom D*Urfy. 


Then, well-beloy'd and truſty Letters ! 


Conſ'nants ! and Vowels, (much their betters,) 


E, willing to repair this Breach, 


And, all that in us lies, pleaſe each; | 
Et cefrato our Aid muſt call, | 


Et cet'ra repreſents ye all: 


Et cæt'ra therefore, we decree, | 
Henceforth for eyer join'd ſhall be 
To the great Name of Tom Durfy. 


P R O. 


117 


PROLOGUE 


Mr. Durfy's /af/ Play. 


ROW old in Rhyme, *twere barbarous 
(x to diſcard 


Your perſevering, unexhauſted Bard: 


Damnation follows Death in other Men, 


— u L—— — „ — 


But your damn'd Poet lives and writes again. 

Th' advent'rous Lover is ſucceſsful ſtill, 
Who ſtrives to pleaſe the Fair againſt her Will: 
Be kind, and make him in his Wiſhes eaſy, 

Who in your own Deſpire has ſtrove to pleaſe ye. 


He ſcorn'd to borrow from the Wits of yore ; 


But ever writ, as none e'er writ before. 


13 You 


118 Prologue 20 My. D ---*s Play: 


* 


Vou modern Wits, ſnould each Man bring his Claim, 
Have deſperate Debentures on your Fame; 

And little would be leſt you, I'm afraid, 

If all your Debts to Greece and Rome were paid. 
From his deep Fund our Author largely draws ; 
Nor ſinks his Credit lower than it was. 

Tho? Plays for Honour in old Time he made, 
"Tis now for better Reaſons - - to be paid. 
Believe him, he has known the World too long, 
And ſeen the Death of much Immortal Song. 

He ſays, poor Poets loſt, while Players won, 

As Pimps grow rich, while Gallants are undone. 
Tho? Tom the Poct writ with Eaſe and Pleaſure, 
The Comick Tom abounds in other Treaſure. 


Fame is at beſt an unperforming Cheat; 


But tis ſubſtantial Happineſs to eat - - - 
Let Eaſe, his laſt Requeſt, be of your giving, 


Nor force him to be damn'd, to get his Living. 
P R O- 


— — — — 2 


— — — — —— — — — wy ws — 


119 


PROLOGUE 


10 1 


Three Hours afier Marriage. 


. Uthors are judg'd by ſtrange capricious Rules; 
The great ones are thought mad, the ſmall 


ones Fools: 
Yet ſure the Beſt are moſt ſeverely fated, 
For Fools are only laugh'd at, Wits are hated. 
Blockheads with Reaſon Men of Senſe abhor ; 
But Fool *gainſt Fool, is barb'rous civil War. 
Why on all Authors then ſhould Criticks fall ? 
Since ſome have writ, and ſhewn no Wit at all. 
Condemn a Play of theirs, and they evade it, 


Cry, „Damn not us, but damn the French that 


made it.“ 


14 By 


120 Prologue to the Three Hours 


1111. 
- 


By running Goods, theſe graceleſs Owlers gain; 


Theirs are the Rules of France, the Plots of Spain: 
But Wit, like Wine, from happier Climates brought, 


Daſh'd by theſe Rogues, turns Engliſh common 
Draught. 

They pall Molere's and Lopez” ſprightly Strain, 

And teach dull Harlequins to grin in vain. 


How ſhall our Author hope a gentle Fate, 
Who dares moſt impudently - not tranſlate. 
It had been civil, in theſe tickliſh Times, 
To fetch his Fools and Knaves from foreign Climes ; 
Spaniard and French abuſe to the World's End, 
But ſpare old England, leſt you hurt a Friend. 
If any Fool is by our Satire bit, 
Let him hiſs loud, to ſhow you all, he's hit. 
Poets make Characters, as Sale ſinen Cloaths, 


We take no Meaſure of your Fops and Beaus, 
But 


| 


lit 


— _————— 


after MARRIAGE. 


i 


But here all Sizes and all Shapes ye meet, 
And fit your ſelves, like Chaps in Monmonth- 
Street. 


Gallants look here, this Fools Cap has an Air 
Goodly and ſmart, with Ears of [ſ/achar. 
Let no one Fool engroſs it, or confine : 
A common Bleſſing! now tis yours, now mine. 
But Poets in all Ages had the Care 
To keep this Cap, for ſuch as will, to wear. 
Our Author has it now, (for ev'ry Wit 
Of Courſe reſign'd it to the next that writ :) 
And thus upon the Stage tis fairly t thrown ; 


Let him that takes it, wear it as his own. 


. 


* Shews a C ap with Ears. t Flings down the C ap, and Exi 


S AN- 


Sanpyss G HOST: | 


: OR, A 
Proper New BALLAD 
On the New 


— — 


OY IDs MET AMORPHOSIS: 
As it was intendcd to be 
Tranſlated by Perſons of Quality. 
Y E Lords and Commons, Men of Wit 
And Pleaſure about Town ; 


Read this, e' er you tranſlate one Bit 


Of Books of high Renown, 


Bewarc 


Sandys's Gnosr. 


* — 
. 
. 


123 


Beware of Latin Authors all! 
Nor think your Verſes Sterling, 


Tho? with a Golden Pen you ſcrawl, 
And ſcribble in a Berlin: 


For not the Desk with ſil ver Nails, 
Nor Bureau of Expence, 

Nor Standiſh well ja pan'd, ayails 
To writing of good Senſe. 


Hear how a Ghoſt in dead of Night, 
With ſaucer Eyes of Fire, 

In woful wiſe did ſore affright' 
A Wit and courtly Squire. 


Rare Imp of Phebus, hopeful Youth ! 
Like Puppy tame that uſes 


To fetch and carry, in his Mouth, 
The Works of all the Muſes. 


— 


124 Sandys's Ghost. 


Ah! why did he write Poetry, 
That hereto was ſo civil; 

And ſell his Soul for Vanity, 
To Rhyming and the Devil? 


A Desk he had of curious Work, 
With glitt'ring Studs about; 
Within the ſame did Sardys lurk, 

Tho? Ovid lay without. 


Now as he ſcratch'd to fetch up Thought, 
Forth popp'd the Sprite fo thin; 

And from the Key-Hole bolted out, 
All upright as a Pin, 


With Whiskers, Band, and Pantaloon, 

| And Ruff compos'd moſt duly; 

This Squire he dropp'd his Pen full ſoon, 
While as the Light burnt bluely. 


Ho! 


. * a — > — — ———_—_—_— 


Sandys's Gros. 126 


Ho! Maſter , quoth Sandys Sprite, 


Write on, nor let me ſcare ye; 


Forſooth, if Rhymes fall in not right, 
To B ſeek, or C. 


I hear the Beat of Jacob's Drums, 
Poor Ovid finds no Quarter 


| See firſt the merry P--- comes 


In haſte, without his Garter. 


Then Lords and Lordings, *Squires and Knights, 
Wits, Witlings, Prigs, and Peers; 
G---th at St. Fames's, and at White's, 


: Beats up for Volunteers. 


What Fenton will not do, nor Gay, 


ou — — — — 


Nor Congreve, Rowe, nor Stanyan, 
Tom B.- r or Tom D' Urfy may, 
John Dunton, $t - - -, or any one. If 


F ; 


126 Sandys's Gfosr. 
= — —̃ — 
If Juſtice Ps coſtive Head 
Some frigid Rhymes disburſes ; 
They ſhall like Perſzarn Tales be read, 
And glad both Babes and Nurſes. 


Let W-rw e 's Muſe with Ab- join, 
And L* O--- with Lord H--v--'s: 
T -A and Ad---- combine, 
And P -- pe tranſlate with 7 - v-- 5. 


L. himſelf, that lively Lord 
Who bows to ev'ry Lady, 

Shall join with F'--- in one Accord, 
And be like Tate and Brady. 


Ye Ladies too draw forth your Pen, 
I pray where can the Hurt lie? 
Since you have Brains as well as Men, 


As witneſs Lady W--1-y. Now 


— —ẽ—ſ 


Sandys's Guosr. I27 


—B 


Now. Tonſon, liſt thy Forces all, 
Review them, and tell Noſes; 
For to poor Ovid ſhall befal 
A ſtrange Metamorphoſes. 


A Metamorphoſis more ſtrange 
Than all his Books can yapour : 


To what (quoth *Squire) ſhall Ovid change? 
Quoth Sandys: Into Waſte-Paper. 


— 


UMBRA 


128 


— g 


UM B R A 


'@ LOSE to the beſt knowri Author, Umbra ſits, 


AY 
0 


The conſtant Index to all Buttons Wits. | 
IWho's here ? cries Umbra © Only Zohnſon” -- Oh! | 
Tour Slave, and exit; but returns with Node, 
Dear Rowe, let's ſit and talk of Tragedies : 
Not long, Pope enters, and to Pope he flies. 


Then up comes Steel; he turns upon his Heel, 
And in a Moment faſtens upon Steele. 


But cries as toon, Dear Dick, I muſt be gone, 
For, if I know his Tread, here's Addiſon. 
Says Addi ſon to Steele, Tis time to go. 
Pope to the Clotet ſteps aſide with Rowe: | 


Poor Umbra, left in this abandon'd Pickle, 


E'cn fits him down, and writes to honeſt T - - 
| Fool! tis in vain from Wit to Wit to roam; | 
| Know, Senſe, like Charity, begins at Home. 

| F R A G. 


129 


FRAGMENT 


E 23 


F meagre Gildon draws his yenal Quill, 
1 I wiſh the Man a Dinner, and ſit ſtill. 
If dreadful D- raves in furious Fret, 
Pll anſwer D--- when I am in Debt. 
Tis Hunger, and not Malice, makes them print, 
And who'll wage War with Bedlam or the Mint? 


Should ſome more ſober Criticks come abroad, 
If wrong, I ſmile; if right, I kiſs the Rod. 
Pains, Reading, Study, are their juſt Pretence, 
And all they want is Spirit, Taſte, and Senſe. 


K Comma's 


120 Fragment of a Satire. 


Commas and Points they ſet exactly right; 

And 'twere a Sin to rob them of their Mite. 

In future Ages how their Fame will ſpread, 

For routing Triplets, and reſtoring ed. 

Yet nc'er one Sprig of Laurel grac'd thoſe Ribalds, 
From ſanguine Sew - - down to pidling T -- s, 
Who thinks he reads when he but ſcans and ſpells, 
A Word-catcher, that lives on Syllables. 

Yet evn this Creature may ſome Notice claim, 
Wrapt round and ſancti fied with Shateſpear's N ame 
Pretty, in Amber to obferve the forms 

Of Hairs, or Straws, or Dirt, or Grubs, or Worms: 
The Thing, we know, is neither rich nor rare, 


But wonder how the Devil it got there. 


Are others angry? 1 excutc them too, 


Well may they rage; I gave them but their Due. 


Each 


— 


Fragment of a Satire. 131 
Each Man's true Merit *tis not hard to find; 
But cach Man's ſecret Standard in his Mind, 
That caſting Weight, Pride adds to Emptineſs; 
This, who can gratzfy £ For who can gueſs £ 
The Wretch whom pilfer'd Paſtorals renown, 
Who turns a Per ſian Tale for half a Crown, 


Juſt writes to make his Barrenneſs appear, 


And ftrains, from hard bound Brains, fix Lines a 


Year ; 
In Senſe ſtill wanting, tho? he lives on Theft, 
Steals much, ſpends little, yet has nothing left: 
| *7o-- x, who now to Senſe, now Nonſenſe leaning, 
Means not, but blunders round about a Meaning; 


And he, whoſe Fuſtian's ſo ſublimely bad, 


r 
2» — — 


. 


It is not Poetry, but Proſe run mad: 


— — 


K 2 Should 


K 
— 


ME —— 


Author of the Victim, aud Cobler of Preſton. 
5 Perſe of Dr. Ev. 


— x ˖———— — — 
— — — —-t ¼ 4 7˙ ů 


— 
5 


132 Fragment M a Satire. 


——ꝛ— ä 


Should modeſt Satire bid all theſe tranſlate, 


And own that nine ſuch Poets make a Te; 
How would they fume, and ſtamp, and roar, and 


chafe ! 
How would they ſwear, not Congreve's ſelf was 
ſafe ! 


Peace to all ſuch! but were there one, whoſe Fires 
Apollo kindled, and fair Fame inſpires, 
Bleft with each Talent, and each Art to pleaſe, 
And born to write, converſe, and live with eaſe; 
Should fuch a Man, too tond to rule alone, 
Bear, like the Turt, no Brother near the Throne; 
View him with ſcornful, yet with fearful eyes, 
And hate for Arts that caus'd himſelf to riſe ; 


Damn with faint Praiſe, aſſent with civil Leer, 


And without ſneering, teach the reſt to ſneer; 


Wiſh- 


— 


— 


Fragment of a Satire. 133 


— 


Wiſhing to wound, and yet afraid to ſtrike, 

Juſt hint a Fault, and heſitate Diſlike 

Alike reſery'd to blame, or to commend, 

A tim*rous Foe, and a ſuſpicious Friend, 
Dreading ev'n Fools, by Flatterers beſieg'd, 
And fo obliging that he ne'er oblig'd: 

Who, if two Wits on rival Themes conteſt, 
Approves of each, but likes the worſt the beſt ; 
Like Cato gives his little Senate Laws, 

And firs attentive to his own Applauſe; 

While Wits and Templars ev'ry Sentence raiſe, 
And wonder with a fooliſh Face of Praiſe. 
What Pity, Heav'n! if ſuch a Man there be. 


Who would not weep, if A- n were he? 


K 3 MA CE R. 


=p | | | 
134 9 


: © & © 


HEN ſimple Macer, now of high Renown, 
\ Y Firſt ſought a Poct's Fortune in the Town, 
Twas all th* Ambition his high Soul could feel, 
To wear red Stockings, and to dine with r- 
Some Ends of Verſe his Betters might afford, 
And gave the harmleſs Fellow a good W ord. 


Sct up with theſe, he yentur'd on the Town, 


And in a borrow'd Play, out-did poor C7 - - x. 
There he ſtopt ſhort, nor ſince has writ a tittle, 
But has the Wit to make the moſt of little : 

Like ſtunted hide-bound Trees, that juſt have got 


Sufficient Sap, at once to bear and rot. 
* Now he begs Verſe, and what he gets commends, 


Not of the Wits his Focs, but Fools his Friends. 
So 


— — 


* He requeſted by peblick Advertiſements, the Aid of the Ingentous . 
20 make up a Micellany iu 1717, 


* 


_— 
. 
. 


Mack * 126 


a 
— 
* 


So ſome coarſe Country Wench, almoſt decay'd, 


Trudges to Town, and firſt turns Chambermaid; 
Aukward and ſupple, each Deyoir to pay, 

She flatters her good Lady twice a Day ; 

Thought wond'rous honeſt, tho' of mean Degree, 
And ſtrangely lik d for her Simplicity : 
In a tranſlated Suit, then tries the Tenn 

With borrow'd Pins, and Patches not her own; 
But juſt endur'd the Winter ſhe began, 

And in four Months, a batter'd Harridan. 

Now nothing's left, but wither'd, pale, and ſhrunk 
To bawd for others, and go Shares with Punk. 


_Kz STL 


— 8 — — 


136 


8 


. 


e 


A 


FRAGMENT. 


Kt LYTI A my Heart in wond'rous wiſe alarm'd, 


Aw'd without Senſe, and without Beauty charm'd, 
But ſome odd Graces and fine Flights ſhe had, 
Was juſt not ugly, and was juſt not mad: 
Her Tongue ftill run, on credit from her Eyes, 
More pert than witty, more a Wit than wiſe. 
Good Nature, ſhe declar'd it, was her Scorn, 
Tho' *twas by that alone ſhe could be born. 
Affronting all, yet fond of a good Name, 
A Fool to Hande and a Slave to Fame: 
Now coy and ſtudious in no Point to fall, 


Now all agog for D---y at a Ball: 
Now 


—ů ů ů ů ů —— — REDFEOILISAEN 
SYLVIA. 137 


P ____————_ ee. 


— — 


Now with a modeſt Matron's careful Air, 


Now her Fore Buttocks to the Navel bare. 
Now deep in Taylor and the Book of Martyrs, 
Now drinking Citron with his Gr - and Ch 


Nen, ſome to Buſineſs, ſome to Pleaſure take, 
But ev'ry Woman's in her Soul a Rake. 
Frail, fey*riſh Sex! their Fit now chills, now burns ; 
Atheiſm and Superſtition rule by Turns; 

And the meer Heathen in her carnal Part, 
Is ſtill a fad good Chriſtian at her Heart. 


4 RTFS 


RF FMESITAH 
HO' Artimeſia talks, by Fits, 
| Of Councils, Claſſicks, Fathers, Wits ; 
Reads Malbranche, Boyle, and Locke : 
Yet in ſome Things methinks ſhe fails, | 


Twere well if ſhe would pare her Nails, 


And wear a cleaner Smock. 


Haughty and huge as High-Dutch Bride, 
Such N aſinch and ſo much Pride 

Are odly join'd by Fate: 
On her large Squab you find her ſpread, 
Like a fat Corpſe upon a Bed, 

That lies and ſtinks in State. 


She 


——_— - —_ 


ARTIME SIA. 


— 


She wears no Colours (ſign of Grace) 
On any Part except her Face; 
All white and black beſide: 


Dauntleſs her Look, her Geſture proud, 
Her Voice theatrically loud, 


And maſculine her Stride. 


So have I ſeen, in black and white 

A prating Thing, a Magpy height, 
Majeſtically ſtalk ; 

Aſtately, worthleſs Animal, 

That plies the Tongue, and wags the Tail, 
All Flutter, Pride, and Talk. 


S A 


P H R TVN E. 


P* RYNE had Talents for Mankind, 
Open ſhe was, ang uncontin'd, 

Like fre froe. Port of Trade: | 

Merchan: ere their Freight, 

And Agents frum ch foreign State, 

Here firſt their Entry made. 


Her Learning and good Breeding ſuch, 
Whether th? Italian or the Dutch, 


Spaniard or French came to her; 

To all obliging ſhe'd appear: 

2T was . Signior, twas Tau Mynbeer, 
"Twas Sil vous plaiſt, Monſieur. 


Obſcure 


= — * —— —_— 


* a ——_— —_ — — 
— — 
* . 


PHRYNE: 


3 

Obſcure by Birth, renown'd by Crimes, 

Still changing Names, Religions, Climes, 
At length ſhe turns a Bride: 

In Di'monds, Pearls, and rich Brocades, 


She ſhines the firſt of batter'd Jades, 
And flutters in her Pride. 


So have I known thoſe Inſects fair, 

(Which curious Germans hold fo rare,) 
Still vary Shapes and Dyes ; 

Still gain new Titles with new Forms; 

Firſt Grubs obſcene, then wriggling Worms, 
Then painted Butterflies. 


ON 


ON 
Mrs. BID DT FLOYD. 


W HE N Cupid did his Grandſire Jove intreat 
To form ſome Beauty by a new Receipt, 


Jove ſent and found far in a Country Scene, 
Truth, Innocence, Good- Nature, Look ſerene: 


From which Ingredients, firſt the dext'rous Boy 
Pick'd the Demure, the Awkward, and the Coy: 


The Graces from the Court did next provide 
Breeding, and Wit, and-Air, and decent Pride : 
Theſe Yenus cleans'd from ev'ry ſpurious Grain 
Of Nice, Coquet, Affected, Pert, and Vain. 
Jove mix'd up all, and his beſt Clay cmploy'd; 
Then call'd the happy Compoſition Floyd. 


APO L- 


at 


AP OLLO outvitted. 


To the Honourable Mrs. Fin CH, 
under her Name of Ardelia. 


P HOE BUS now ſhort'ning every Shade, 
Up to the Northern Tropick came, 
And thence beheld a lovely Maid 
Attending on a Royal Dame. coat 


The God laid down his feeble Rays be 
7 hen lighted from his glitt ring Coach, 
But fenc'd his Head with his own Bays 


Before he durſt the N ymph approach. 


Under thoſe Sacred Leaves, tecurc 


From common Lightning of the Skies, 


He fondly thought he might endure 
The Flathes of Ardelia's Eyes. The 


— 


144 To the Hon. Mrs. Fixcn. 


The Nymph, who oft had read in Books, 
Of that bright God whom Bards inyoke, 
Soon knew Apollo by his Looks, | 

And gueſs'd his Buſineſs e' er he ſpoke. 


He in the old Celeſtial Cant, | 
Confeſs*d his Flame, and ſwore by yx, 
Whate'er ſhe would deſire, to grant; 

But wiſe Ardelia knew his Tricks. 


Ovid had warn'd her to beware 


Of ſtroling Gods, whoſe uſual Trade is, 
Under pretence of taking Air, 


To pick up Sublunary Ladies. 


 Howeer, ſhe gave no flat Denial, 
As having Malice in her Heart ; 
And was reſoly'd upon a Tryal, 
To cheat the God in his own Art. Hed! 


— 


win. 


To the Hon. Mrs. Finen. 146 


Hear my Requeſt, the Virgin ſaid; 
Loet which I pleaſe of all the Nine 
Attend whene*er I want their Aid, 
Obey my Call, and only mine. 


By Vow oblig'd, by Paſſion led, 
The God could not refuſe her Prayer : 
He wav'd his Wreath thrice o'er her Head, 
Thrice mutter'd ſomething to the Air. 


And now he thought to ſeize his Due, 
But ſhe the Charm already try'd, 


Thalia heard the Call, and flew 


To wait at bright Ardelia's Side. 


146 To the Hon. Mrs. Fixc. 


On Sight of this Celeſtial Prude, 


Apollo thought it vain to ſtay, 
Nor in her Preſence durſt be rude, 


But made his Leg, and went away. 


He hop'd to find ſome lucky Hour, 
When on their Queen the Muſes wait ; 


But Pallas owns Ardelia's Power ; 
For Vovrs divine are kept by Fate. 


Then full of Rage Apollo ſpoke, 


Deceitful Nymph ! I fee thy Art; 
And though I can't my Gift reyoke, 


- . 
—— — Ä a — 
= mg — — TE = —— _ N — 
* 


11 diſappoint its nobler Part. 


Let 


—— . 


To the Hon. Mrs. Fincn. 


L m——_ 


Let ſtubborn Pride poſſeſs thee long, 
And be thou negligent of Fame; 

With ev'ry Muſe to grace thy Song, 
May'ft thou deſpiſe a Poet's Name. 


Of Modeſt Poets be thou firſt, 

To ſilent Shades repeat thy Verſe, 
Till Fame and Eccho almoſt burſt, 

Yet hardly dare one Line rehearſe. | 


And laſt, my Vengeance to compleat, 


May you deſcend to take Renown, 


Prevail'd on by the Thing you hate, 


A Whig, and one that wears a Gown. 


12 STELLA“ 


STELLA's Birth-Day. 


1718. 


_——_— m_—_—_ 


9 TEL LA this Day is Thirty four, 
(We ſhan't diſpute a Year or more:) 

However Hella, be not troubled, 

Although thy Size and Years are doubled, 


Since firſt I ſaw thee at Sixteen, 
The brighteſt Virgin on the Green. 
So little is thy Form declin'd; 


Made up fo largely in thy Mind. 


Oh, would it pleafe the Gods, to /Þ/: 
Thy Beauty, Size, and Years, and Wit, 


"2 4 
4 + * Md 


TE ͤ—.. —ͤ—— ... 


STxLLA's Birtb- Day. 149 


No Age could furniſh out a Pair 

Of Nymphs fo graceful, wiſe, and fair: 

With half the Luſtre of your Eyes, 

With half your Wit, your Years, and Size. 

And then, before it grew too late, \ 
How ſhould I beg of gentle Fate, 


(That either Nymph might have her Swain, ) 
To ſplit my Worſhip too in twain. 


L z STEL LA's 


— — 
—— ́̃— 


150 


— —ͤ — 


STELL 4's Birth-Day. 


— 


1720. 


LL Travellers at firſt incline 


k Where'er they ſee the faireſt Sign; 
And if they find the Chambers neat, 
And like the Liquor, and the Meat, A 
Will call again, and recommend 
The Augel-Inn to ev'ry Friend: 

What though the Painting grows decay d, 
The Houſe will never loſe its Trade: 

Nay, though the treach'rous Tapſter Thomas 


Hangs a new Angel two Doors from us, 


As fine as Dawbers Hands can make it, | 


In hopes that Strangers may miſtake it, 


—_____ 


STELLas Birth-Day. 181 


— 23e 


We think it both a Shame and Sin 
To quit the true old Angel- Inn. 


Now, this is Stella's Caſe in fact, 
An Angel's Face, a little crack d; | 
(Could Poets or could Painters fix 
How Angels look at Thirty fix : ) 

This drew us in at firſt, to find 

In ſuch a Form an AngePs Mind: 

And ev'ry Virtue now ſupplies 

The fainting Rays of Szella's Eyes. 

See, at her Leyee crowding Swains, 

Whom Szella freely entertains, 

With Breeding, Humour, Wit, and Senſe; 
And — them but to ſmall Expence: 

Their Mind ſo plentifully fills, 

And makes ſuch reaſonable Bills, 


L 4 So 


- 


162, STELLA Birth-Day. 


So little gets for what ſhe gives, 
We really wonder how ſhe lives ! 
And had her Stock been leſs, no doubt, 


She muſt have long ago run out. 


Then who can think we'll quit the place 
When Doll hangs out a newer Face; 
Or ſtop and light at Claes Head, 
With Scraps and Leavings to be fed. 


Then Cloe, ſtill go on to prate 
Of Thirty fix and Thirty eight, 
Purſue your Trade of Scandal-picking, 
Your Hints, that Srella is no Chicken; 


Your Innuendo's when you tell us 
That Stella loves to talk with Fellows 
And let me warn you to believe 


A Truth, for which your Soul ſhould grieve: 


That 


Y 


OL a eo RELTI STR IE" ax 
STELLA's Birth-Day. 153 
— een 
That ſhould you live to ſee the Day 
When Stellas Locks muſt all be grey, 
When Age muſt print a furrow'd Trace 
On ev'ry Feature of her Face; 

Though you, and all your ſenſeleſs Tribe, 
Could Art, or Time, or Nature bribe, 

To make you look like Beauty*s Queen, 
And hold for ever at Fifteen ; 

No Bloom of Youth can ever blind 

The Cracks and Wrinkles of your Mind: 
All Men of Senſe will paſs your Door, 
And crowd to Stellas at Fourſcore. 


STELLA's 


by 
STEL L A's Birth-Day. 


A great Bottle of Wine, long buried, 
being that Day dug up. 


1722. 


* 


Eſolv'd my annual Verſe to pay 
R By Duty bound, on Szella's Day ; 
Furniſh*d with Paper, Pens, and Ink, 
I gravely fat me down to think: 
1 bit my Nails, and ſcratch'd my Head, 


But found my Wit and Fancy fled : 
Or, if with more than uſual Pain, 


A Thought came ſlowly from my Brain, 


It 


, 


STELLA's Brrth-Day. 155 


"—_ 


os Wa 


It coſt me Lord knows how much Time 
To ſhape it into Senſe and Rhyme ; 
And, what was yet a greater Curſe, 
Long-thinking made my Fancy worſe. 


| Forſaken by th'inſpiring Nine, 
I waited at Apollo's Shrine; 
I told him what the World would ſay 
If Stella were unſung to Day; 
How I ſhould hide my Head for Shame, 
When both the Zacks and Robin came; 
How Ford would frown, how Jim would leer, 
How HH -A the Rogue would ſneer, 
And ſwear it does not always follow, 
That Semen anno ridet Apollo. 


I have afſur'd them twenty times, 


That Phæbus help'd me in my Rhymes, 


Phebus 


a's Birth-Day. 


— k ê .ͥ— 


5 —— 


156 


STELL 


Phebus inſpir'd me from above, 

And he and I were Hand and Gloye. 
But finding me ſo dull and dry ſince, 
They'll call it all poetick Licence: 
And when I brag of Aid divine, 

Think Eu ſden's Right as good as mine. 


Nor do I ask for Stella's ſake; 
"Tis my own Credit lies at Stake. 
And Fella will be ſung, while I 
Can only be a Stander-by. 


Apollo having thought a little, 
Return'd this Anſwer to a Tittle. 


Though you ſhould live like old Methuſalem , 
I furniſh Hints, and you ſhould uſe all 'em, 


You 


STELLA's Biritb-Day. 137 


You yearly ſing as ſhe grows old, 

You'd leave her Virtues half untold. 

But to ſay truth, ſuch Dulneſs reigns 

Through the whole Set of Ir - -ſþ D---ns; 
I'm daily ftunn'd with ſuch a Medley, 

D---n FH --, D---nD--4 and D---n 9.— 
That, let what D - - n ſoever come, 

My Orders are, I'm not at Home; 

And if your Voice had not been loud, 

You muſt haye paſs'd among the Crowd. 


But, now, your Danger to preyent, 
You muſt apply to * Mrs. Brent, 
For ſhe, as Prieſteſs, knows the Rites 
Wherein the God of Earth delights. 
Firſt, nine Ways looking, let her ſtand 
Withan old Poker in her Hand ; Let 


_ 2 


2 
— 


: — 


* The Honſe- Keeper. 


* — 


16 Sr EI. LA's Birth-Day. 


Let her deſcribe a Circle round 

In * Saunder's Cellar on the Ground: 
A Spade let prudent + Archy hold, 
And with Diſcretion dig the Mould : 
Let Stella look with watchful Eye, 
Rebecca, Ford, and Grattons by. 


Behold the BorrIE, where it lies 
With Neck elated tow?rds the Skies! 
The God of Winds and God of Fire 


Did to it's wond*rous Birth conſpire ; 


And Bacchus for the Poet's Uſe 
Pour'd in a ſtrong inſpiring Juice: 
See! as you raiſe it from its Tomb, 
It drags behind a ſpacious Womb, 
And inthe ſpacious Womb contains 


7 
A Sov'reign Medicine for the Brains. 


* The Niger. 
T The 72 Stud 


1] | 


1 


STELL A's Birth-D 


— 


159 


You'll find it ſoon if Fate conſents; 
If not, a thouſand Mrs. Brents, 


Ten thouſand Archy's arm'd with Spades 
May dig in vain to Pluto's Shades. 


From thence a plentcous Draught infuſe, 
And boldly then inyoke the Muſe : 
(But firſt let Robert on his Knees 


With Caution drain it from the Lees) 


The Muſe will at your Call appear, 
With Szella*s Praiſe to crown the Year. 


STELLA's 


1724. 


S when a beauteous Nymph decays 


So, Poets loſe their Feet by Time, 
And can no longer dance in Rhyme. 
Your Annual Bard had rather choſe 
To celebrate your Birth in Proſe ; 
Yet, merry Folks who want by chance 
A Pair to make a Country Dance, 


Call the Old Houſekeeper, and get her 
To fill a Place, for want of better ; 


We fay, ſhe's paſt her Dancing Days; 


While 


| 


N — — — — m -— 


„ 1 · 2 £ 
P 4 MTs 


STELLA's Birth-Day; 161 


While $S--- is off the hooks, 
And Friend 7 - - - y at his Books, 
That Stella may avoid Diſgrace 

Once more the D - - n ſupplies their Place. 


Beauty and Wit, too fad a Truth, 
Have always been confin'd to Youth ; 
The God of Wit, and Beauty's Queen, 
He Twenty one, and She Fifteen : 
No Poet ever ſweetly ſung, 

Unleſs he were like Phebus, young ; 
Nor ever Nymph inſpir d to Rhyme, 
Unleſs, like Venus, in her Prime. 

At Fifty fix, if this be true, 

Am Ja Poet fit for you? 

Or at the Age of Forty three, 

Are you a Subject fit for me? 


162 STELLA's Birth-Day. 


—_— — 


Adieu bright Wit, and radiant Eyes; 
You muſt be grave, and I be wile. 
Our Fate in vain we would oppoſe, 
But II be ſtill your Friend in Proſe: 
Eſteem and Friendſhip to expreſs, 

Will not require Poetick Dreſs; 

And if the Muſe deny her Aid 

To have them ſung, they may be. /aid. 


But, Hella ſay, what evil Tongue ( 


Reports you are no longer young ? 
That Time fits with his Scythe to row 
Where erſt fate Cid with his Bow; 

That half your Locks are turn'd to Grey; 
Fil nc'er believe a Word they ſay. 


Tis true, but let it not be known, 


My Eyes are fomewhat dimmiſh grown; 


For 


: 


by 3 


SrELLA“ Birth-Day. 163 


For Nature, always in the Right, 
To your Decays adapts my Sight, 
And Wrinkles undiſtinguiſh'd paſs, 
For Pm aſham'd to uſe a Glaſs ; 
And till I fee them with theſe Eyes, 
| Whoever ſays you have them, lyes. 


No Length of Time can make you quit 
Honour and Virtue, Senſe and Wit, 
Thus you may ftill be young to me, 
While I can better hear than /ee ; 
Oh, ne'er may Fortune ſhew her Spight, 
To make me deaf, and mend my Sight. 


T O 


Mrs. M. B. 


Sent on Her 


BIRTH-DAY. 


June 15. 


H, be thou bleſt with all that Heav'ncan ſend 
Long Health, long Youth, long Pleaſure, 


O 


Not with thoſe Toys the Female Race admire, 


and a Friend : 


Riches that Tex, and Vanities that fire; 


Not as the World its pretty Slaves rewards, 
A Youth of Frolicks, an Old-Age of Cards; 


Fair 


_ 


To Mrs. M. B. 165 


— 


Fair to no Purpoſe, artful to no End, 


Young without Lovers, old without a Friend; 
A Fop their Paſſion, but their Prize a Sot; 
Alive, ridiculous; and dead, forgot ! 


Let Joy, or Eaſe, let Affuence, or Content, 
And the gay Conſcience of a Life well ſpent, 
Calm ey*ry Thought, inſpirit ev'ry Grace, 

Glow in thy Heart, and ſmile upon thy Face : 


Let Day improve on Day, and Year on Year, 
Without a Pain, a Trouble, or a Fear : 
Till Death unfelt that tender Frame deſtroy, 


In ſome ſoft Dream, or Extaſy of Joy, 
Peaceful ſleep out the Sabbath of the Tomb, 


And wake to Raptures in a Life to comie ! 


M 3 SONG 


S O N . 


BY A 
Perſon of Quality. 


1 Said to my Heart, between Sleeping and Waking, 
Thou wild Thing, that always art leaping or aking, 
What Black, Brown, or Fair, in what Clime, in what 


Nation, 


By turns has not taught thee a Pit - a - - pat = ation? 


Thus accusꝰd, the wild Thing gave this ſober Reply: 
See the Heart without Motion, tho' Cælia paſs by 
Not the Beauty ſhe has, or the Wit that ſhe borrows, 

Gives the Eyeany Joys, or the Heart any Sorrows. | 


When 


8 


„ — 


: 4 ® - a * * * hand —_— 0 


SONG. 167 


— 


0 


When our Sappbo appears, ſhe whoſe Wit fo refin'd 
I am forc'd to applaud with the reſt of Mankind 
Whatever ſhe fays, is with Spirit and Fire; 

Ev'ry Word I attend; but I only admire. 


Prudentia as vainly would put in her Claim, 


Ever gazing on Heaven, tho? Man is her Aim: 


Tis Love, not Devotion, that turns up her Eyes, 


Thoſe Stars of this World are too good for the Skies. 


But Che ſo lively, fo eaſy, ſo fair, 


Her Wit fo Genteel, without Art, without Care; 
When ſhe comes in my Way, the Motion, the Pain, 
The Leapings, the Akings, return all again. 


O wonderful Creature! a Woman of Reaſon ! 


Never grave out of Pride, never gay out of Seaſon; 


When ſo eaſy to gueſs who this Angel ſhould be, 
Wou'd one think Mrs. H- -A ne er dreamt it was She ? 


* 


(Y all the Girls that c'er were ſeen, 
There's none ſo fine as Nelly, 


For charming Face, and Shape, and Mien, 
And what's not fit to tell ye: 

Oh! the turn'd Neck, and ſmooth white Skin 
Of lovely deareſt Nelly / 

For many a Swain it well had been 
Had ſhe ne'er paſt by Calaz-. 


For when as Nelly came to France, 
(Invited by her Cofins) 

Acroſs the Tuilleries each Glance 
Kill'd F renchmen by whole Dozens. 


B A L L A D. 


The 


— 


— ä— Nance 
A BaLLav. 


169 


8 
3 —— 
n 


The King, as he at Dinner ſate, 

| Did beckon to his Huſſar, 

And bid him bring his Tabby Cat, 
For charming Nell to buſs her. 


The Ladies were with Rage proyok'd, 
To ſec her ſo reſpected; 

The Men look'd arch, as Nelly ſtrok d, 
And Puſs her Tail erected. 


But not a Man did Look imploy, 


Except on pretty Nelly ; 
Then faid the Duke de Villeroy, 
Ah! quelle eft bien jolie 


But who's that grave Philoſopher, 


That carefully looks a'ter ? 
By his Cancern it ſhould appear, 
The Fair One is his Daughter. 


I70 A BALLADE. 


Ma foy ! (quoth then a Courtier fly,) 
He on his Child does leer too : 


I wiſh he has no Mind to try 


What ſome Papa's will here do. 


The Courtiers all, with one Accord, 
Broke out in Nelly's Praiſes, 
Admir'd her Roſe, and Lys ſans farde, 
(Which are your Termes Francoiſe:.) 
Then might you ſee a painted Ring 
Of Dames that ſtood by Nelly ; 
She like the Pride of all the Spring, 


And they, like Fleurs du Palats. 


In Marlj's Gardens, and Sr. Clow, 
I faw this charming Nelly, 

Where ſhameleſs Nymphs, expos'd to View, 
Stand naked in each Allee : 


But 


— 


A BALLADE. 171 


—— 


But Venus had a Brazen Face 
Both at Verſailles and Meudon, 
Or elſe ſhe had reſign'd her Place, 


And left the Stone ſhe ſtood on. 


Were Nellys Figure mounted there, 
*T would put down all th* /za/zan - 
Lord! how thoſe Foreigners would ſtare ! 
But I ſhou'd turn Pygmalion 
For ſpite of Lips, and Eyes, and Mien, 
Me, nothing can delight fo, 
As does that Part that lies between 
Her Left Toe, and her Right Toe. 


ODE 


172 


— 


ON THE 


LONGITUDE. 


RECITATIVYO. 
H E Longitude mift on | 


T By wicked Fill. Il hiſton. 
And not better hit on 
By good Maſter Di = 


RITORNELL O. 


So Ditton and Whiſton 
May both be bep-ft on; 
And Whiſton and Ditton 
May both be beſh - t on. 


ODE, for Musicx, 


Sing 


2 * 


* . 
<A — 
— * — 


Op on the Longitude. 173 


Sing Ditton, 
Beſh-t on ; 
And Whiſton, 
Bep- ſt on. 


Sing Ditton and Whiſton, 
And Whiſton and Ditton, 
Beſh- t and bep - ſt on, 
Bep- ſt and beſh-t on. 
Da Caro. 


EP = 


— ne ne 


174 


EpIORAM on the Feuds 


ABOUT 


HANDEL and BON ONCINI. 


8 


Trange ! all this Difference ſhou'd be, 
Twixt Tweedle-Dum, and T weedle-Dee / 


On Mrs. [---s. 


0 7 bright is thy Beauty, ſo charming thy Song, 
As had drawn both the Beaſts and their Orpheus 


along: 


But ſuch is thy Av'rice, and ſuch is thy Pride, 
That the Beaſts muſt have itary'd, and the Poet have 
dy'd. 
TWO 


176 


TWO or THREE: 


OR, A 


RECEIPT to make a Cuckold. 


WO or Three Viſits, and two or three Bows, 


Twoor three civil Things, two or three Vows, 
Two or three Kiſſes, with two or three Sighs, 
Two or three Feſis*s, and Let-me- die c, 

| Two or three Squeezes, and two or three T owzes, 
(With two or three thouſand Pound loſt at their 
Houſes,) 


Can never fail Cuckolding two or three Spouſes. . 


ON 


ON A 


LAD Y who P ſt 


AT 1 HE 


TAG EDT of CAT O; 


| Occaſion'd by an 
Epigram on a Lapr who wept at it. 


Still with dry Eyes the Tory Celia fate, 
But while her Pride forbids her Tears to flow, 
The guſhing Waters find a Vent below : 


Tho? ſecret, yet with copious Grief ſhe mourns, 
Like twenty River-Gods with all their Urns. 
Let others ſcrew their Hypocritick Face, 

She ſhews her Grief in a ſincerer Place; 

There Nature reigns, and Paſſion void of Art, 
For that Road leads directly to the Heart. 


E PIGDYHAM 


W Hile maudlin Whigs deplor d their Cato's Fate, 


Bn © . cl a: an 


177 


| 


E PIGRA M- 


INA 


MAI D of HONOURS 
Y R AT ER BOOK 


| W HEN T/ae!s Daughters mourn'd their 
paſt Offences, 


1 hey dealt in Sackcloth, and turn'd Cynder-Wenches : 
' But Richmond”s Fair-ones never ſpoil their Locks, 


| 


They uſe white Powder, and wear Holland-Smocks. 
O comely Church! where Females find clean Linen 


As decent to repent in, as to /in in. 


| 
N E PI- 


178 


EPIGRAM. 


S Thomas was cudgell'd one Day by his Wife, | 
He took to the Street, and fled for his Life; 
Tom's three deareſt Friends came by in the Squabble, | 


And fay'd him at once from the Shrew and the Rabble; 
Then ventur'd to give him ſome ſober Advice — 


But, Tom is a Perſon of Honour ſo nice, 

Too wiſe to take Council, too proud to take Warning, 
That he ſent to all Three a Challenge next Morning: 
Three Duels he fought, thrice ventur'd his Life; 
Went home, and was cudgell'd again by his Wife. | 


6—„—: 


The Balance of Europe. 


Nr. Europe's balanc'd, neither Side F 
For nothing's left in either of the Scales. 


4 


* 
. * 


IS, 


A Panegyrical 


EPISTLE 


Mr. THOMAS SNow, 


Goldſmith, near Temple-Bar; 


Occaſion d by his Buying and Selling the Third 
South-Sea Subſcriptions, taken in by the Di- 
rectors at a Thouſand per Cent. 


D 


Stick thy black Pen awhile behind thy Ear. 
Whether thy Compter ſhine with Sums untold, 


ISDAIN not, Sxow, my humble Verſe to 


hear : 


And thy wide-graſping Hand grow black with Gold: 
N 2 Whether 


180 Epiſtle to Mr. Thomas Snow. 


x — 
Whether thy Mien erect, and ſable Locks, 
In Crowds of Brokers over-awe the Stocks :- 


Suſpend the worldly Buſineſs of the Day ; 
And to enrich thy Mind, attend my Lay. 


O thou, whoſe penetrative Wiſdom found 
The South-Sea Rocks and Shelyes where Thouſands 
drown*d. 
When Credit funk, and Commerce gaſping lay, 


Thou ſtood'ſt: No Bill was ſent unpaid away. 
When not a Guinea chink'd on f Martin's Boards, 


And f Atwwil7's ſelf was drain'd of all his Hoards, 
Thou ſtood'it; (an Indian King in Size and Hue) 
Thy uncxhauſted Shop was our Peru. 


Why did *Change- Alley waſte thy precious Hours, 


Among the Fools who gap'd for golden Show'rs ? 


— 


No 


Mr. Thomas Snow. 181 


— een 


Epiſtle to 


No wonder, if we found ſome Poets there, 

Who live on Fancy, and can feed on Air; 

No wonder, they were caught by South-Sea Schemes, 

Who ne'er enjoy'd a Guinea, but in Dreams ; 

No wonder, they their Third Subſcriptions fold, 

For Millions of imaginary Gold : 

No wonder, that heir Fancies wild can frame 

Strange Reaſons, that a Thing is ſtill the ſame, ö 

Though chang'd throughout in Subſtance and a 
Name. J 

But your (whoſe Judgment ſcorns Poetick Flights) 

With Contracts furniſh Boys for Paper Kites. 


Let Vulture H-, ſtretch his ruſty Throat, 
Who ruins Thouſands for a ſingle Groat. 
I know thou ſcorn'ſt his mean, his ſordid Mind: 
Nor, with Ideal Debts, would'ſt plague Mankind. 
N-3 Madmen 


— 


n 
1 


182 Fpiftle to Mr. Thomas Snow. 
Madmen alone their empty Dreams purſue, 
And ſtill believe the fleeting Viſion true; 
They ſell the Treaſures which their Slumbers get, 
Then wake, and fancy all the World in Debt. 
If to inftrud thee all my Reaſons fail, 


Yet be diverted by this Moral Tale. 


Through fam'd Moor-Fields extends a ſpacious 
Seat, | 
Where Mortals of exalted Wit retreat 
Where wrapp'd in Contemplation and in Straw, 
The wiſer Few from the mad World withdraw. 
There in full Opulence a Banker dwelt, 
Who all the Joys and Pangs of Riches felt : 
His Side-board glitter'd with imagin'd Plate ; 
And his proud Fancy held a vaſt Eſtate. 


As 


| 


| 


Epiftle to Mr. Thomas Snow. 183 


. 


As, on a Time, he paſs d the vacant Hours 
In raiſing Piles of Straw and twiſted Bowers; 


A Poet enter'd of the neighb'ring Cell, 
And with fix d Eye obſerv'd the Structure well. 
A ſharpen'd Skew'r croſs his bare Shoulders bound 


A tatter'd Rug, which dragg'd upon the Ground. 


The Banker cry'd, © Behold my Caſtle Walls, 
« My Statues, Gardens, Fountains, and Canals ; 


With Land of twenty thouſand Acres round! 


All theſe I ſell thee for ten thouſand Pound. 


The Bard with Wonder the cheap Purchaſe ſaw, 
So ſignꝰd the Contract (as ordains the Law.) 


The Banker's Brain was cool'd, the Miſt grew clear; 


The Viſionary Scene was loſt in Air. 
N 4 He 


* 


184 Epiftle to Mr. Thomas Snow. 


He now the yaniſh'd Proſpect underſtood, 
And fear'd the fancy'd Bargain was not good : 
Yet loth the Sum entire ſhould be deſtroy'd; 


« Give me a Penny, and thy Contract's void. 


The ſtartled Bard with Eye indignant frown'd. 
* Shall I, ye Gods, (he cries) my Debts compound ! 
So ſaying, from his Rug the Skew'r he takes, 
And on the Stick Ten equal Notches makes: 
With juſt Reſentment flings it on the Ground 
There, take my Tally of Ten Thouſand Pound. 


THE 


185 


THE 


1721. 


E wiſe Philoſophers! Explain, 


What Magick makes our Money riſe, 


When dropt into the Southern Main; 
Or do theſe Jugglers cheat our Eyes? 


Put in your Money fairly told; 
Preſto be gone - == « = Tis here agen: 
Ladies and Gentlemen, behold, 


Here's ey'ry Piece as big as Ten. 


Thus 


EEE 


186 The SouTH-SEA. 


—-— 


Thus in a Baſin drop a Shilling, 
Then fill the Veſſel to the Brim; 


You ſhall obſerve, as you are filling, 
The pond*rous Metal ſeems to fwim ; 


It riſes both in Bulk and Height, 
Behold it ſwelling like a Sop! 

The liquid Medium cheats your Sight, 
Behold it mounted to the Top ! 


In Stock Three hundred thouſand Pound . 
I have in view a Lord's Eſtate : 


My Manors all contiguous round ; 


A Coach and Six, and ſerv'd in Plate! 


Thus the deluded Bankrupt raves, 
Puts all upon a deſp'rate Bett; 
Then plunges in the Southern Waves, 
Dipt over Head and Ears - = in Debt. So, 


The SouTHn-Sx a. 187 


So, by a Calenture miſled, 
The Mariner with Rapture ſees 


On the ſmooth Ocean's azure Bed 
Enamel'd Fields, and verdant Trees; 


With cager Haſte he longs to rove 
In that fantaſtick Scene, and thinks 
It muſt be ſome enchanted Groye ; 
And in he leaps, and down he ſinks. 


Two hundred Chariots juſt beſpoke 
Are ſunk in theſe devouring Waves, 


The Horſes drown'd, the Harneſs broke, 
And here the Owners find their Graves : 


Like Pharaoh, by Directors led, 
They, with their Soil went ſafe before; 
His Chariots, tumbling out the Dead, 


Lay ſnatter d on the Red. dea Shore. Rais d 


— 


188 The SouTHr-Stxa: 


Rais'd up on FHope's aſpiring Plumes, 


The young Advyent'rer o'er the Deep 
An Eagle's Flight and State aſſumes, 
And ſcorns the middle Way to keep: 


On Paper Wings he takes his Flight, 
With //ax the Father bound them faſt; 


The Wax is melted by the Height, 
And down the tow'ring Boy is caſt. 


His V mgs are his Paternal Rent, 
He melts his Wax at every Flame; 
His Credit) ſunk, his Money ſpent, 
In Soulerm Seas he leaves his Name. 
Inform us, You that beſt can tell, 
Why in yon dang'rous Gulph profound, 
Where Hundreds, and where Thouſands fell, 
Fools chiefly float, the MWiſè are drown'd* 


So | 


= 


The SouTH-Sta 189 


— 


— aa 


So have I ſeen from Severn's Brink 
A Flock of Geeſe jump down together; 
Swim where the Bird of Fove would fink, 


And ſwimming never wet a Feather. 


One Fool may from another win, 
And then get off with Money ſtor d; 
But if a Harper once comes in, 


He throws at all, and ſweeps the Board: 


As Fiſhes on each other prey, 

The Great Ones ſwallowing up the Small ; 
So fares it in the Southern Sea; 

The Whale Directors eat up all. 


When Stoch is high, they come between, 
Making by ſecond-hand their Offers; 
Then cunningly retire unſeen, 
With cach a Million in his Coffers ; So 


190 The SouTH-Sta. 


— CE, 


So when upon a Moon-ſhine Night, 

An Aſs was drinking at a Stream; 

A Cloud aroſe, and ſtopt the Light, 
By intercepting ev*ry Beam: 


The Day of Judgment will be ſoon, 
(Cries out a Sage among the Croud;) 

An As hath ſwallow'd up the Moon: 
The Moon lay ſafe behind the Cloud, 


Each poor Sub ſcriber to the Sea, 


Sinks down at once, and there he hes ; 
Directors fall as well as they, 
Their Fall is but a Trick to riſe. 


So Fiſhes riſing from the Main, 

Can ſoar with moiſten'd Wings on high; 
The Moiſture dry*d, they fink again, 

And dip their Fins again to fly, 


Un- 


77 


The SourRH-SRA. 191 


— — 


Undone at Play, the Female Troops 


Come here their Loſſes to retrieve; 


Ride o'er the Waves in ſpacious Hoops, 
Like Lapland Witches in a Sieve. 


Thus Yenus to the Sea deſcends, 
As Poets feign; but where's the Moral ? 
It ſhews the Queen of Love intends 

To ſearch the Deep for Pearl and Coral, 


A Shilling in the Bath you fling, 
The Silver takes a nobler Hue, 
By Magick Virtue in the Spring, 


And ſeems a Guinea to your View: 


But as a Guinea will not paſs 
At Market for a Farthing more, 
Shewn thro' a multiplying Glaſs, 
Than what it always did before ; +> 


__  - 


1 


The SouTH - Sx Aa. 


2 


— 


2 


So caſt it in the Southern Seas, 

And view it through a Fobber's Bill; 
Put on what Spectacles you pleaſe, 
Your Guinea's but a Guinea ſtill. 


One Night a Fool into a Brook, 
Thus from a Hillock looking down, 


The Golden Stars for Guineas took, 
And Silver Cynthia for a Crown 


The Point he could no longer doubt, 
He ran, he leapt into the Flood ; 
There ſprawl'd a while, and ſcarce got out, 


All coyer'd o'er with Slime and Mud. 


Upon the Water caſt thy Bread, 

And after many Days thou'lt find it; 
But Gold upon this Ocean ſpread, 

Shall fink, and leaye no Mark behind it. 


There 


__ 


th — 
— 


| SoUTH-SEA. 


— 


193 


There is a Gulph where Thouſands fell, 
Here all the bold Adyent'rers came, 

A narrow Sound, though deep as Hell, 
'Change-Alley is the dreadful Name: 


| Nine Times a Day it ebbs and flows, 
Yet he that on the Surface lies, 
Without a Pilot ſeldom knows 


The Time it falls, or when ?twill riſe. 


* Now bury'd in the Depth belou, 
Now mounted up to Heaven agen, 


They reel and ſtagger to and fro, 
At thewr Wits End, like drunken Men. 


Mean time ſecure on * Garr way Cliffs, 


| A Savage Race by Shipwrecks fed, Lic 
O 


— * — — 
— — 


Pſalm cvii Coffee - Houſe in Change-Alley. 


— 


194 SOUTH-OSEA. 


Lie waiting for the founder'd Skiffs, 
And ftrip the Bodies of the Dead. 


While ſome build Caftles in the Air, 
Directors build em in the Seas; 

Sub ſeribers plainly ſee em there, 
For Fools will fee as wiſe Men pleaſe. 


Thus oft by Mariners arc ſhewn, 
(Unleſs the Men of Rent are Lyars,) 
Earl Godw:s Caſtles overflown, 
And Palace-Roofs, and Steeple-Spires. 


Mark where the fly Direclors creep, 
Nor to the Shore approach too nigh ' ; 

The Monſters neſtle in the Deep, 
To ſeize you in your paſſing by. 


Then, | 


en, 


——_——@_ 


SOUTH-SEA. 195 


Then, like the Dogs of Nile, be wiſe, 
Who taught by Inſtinct how to ſhun 
The Crocodile, that lurking lies, 
Run as they drink, and drink and run. 


Anteus could, by Magick Charms, 


Recover Strength whene'er he fell; 
Alcides held him in his Arms, 
And ſent him 2p in Air to Hell. 


Directors thrown into the Sea, 


Recover Strength and Vigour there; 
But may be tam'd another Way, 


Suſpended for a while in Air. 


Oh! may ſome Yeſtern Tempeſt ſweep 
Theſe Locuſ?ts whom our Fruits have fed, 
That Plague, Directors, to the Deep, 
Driv'n from the South-Sea to the Red. May 


3 | | "IP 


196 SOUTH-SEA. 


May he, whom Nature's Laws obey, 

Who /fts the Poor, and ſints the Proud, 
Quiet the Raging of the Sea, 

And ſtill the Madneſs of the Crowd. 


Bur never ſhall our Iſle have Reſt, 


Till thoſe devouring Swe run down, 


(The Devils leaving the Poſſeſt,) 
And headlong in the Vaters drown. 


The Nation then too late will find, 


Computing all their Coſt and Trouble, 
Drireftirs Promiſes but Wind, 
Scath-Sea at belt a mighty Bubble. 


Apparent rari nantes in Gurgite vaſto, | 


Arma virum, tabu!eque, © Troia gaga per 
undas. | VIRc. 


4 


{4 


BALLA 


A 


ON 
QUADRILLE. 


I. 
HEN as Corruption hence did ge, 
And left the Nation free 
When Ay ſaid Ay, and No ſaid No, 
Without or Place or Fee; + 
Then Satan, thinking Things went ill, 
Sent forth his Spirit call'd ©uadr//e. 
Unadrille, Quadrille, &c. 


O 3 II. 


Ballad on QUADPRILLE. 


198 


—Y 


II. 
Kings, Queens and Knaves, made up his Pack, 
And four fair Sutes he wore; 
His Troops they were with red and black 
All blotch'd and ſpotted o're; 


And ev'ry Houſe, go where you will, 
Is haunted by this Imp Qꝝadrille, &c. 


III. 
Sure Cards he has for ev'ry Thing, 


Which well Court-Cards they name, 
And Statcſman- like, calls in the King, 
To help out a bad Game; 
But if the Parties manage ill, . 
The King is forc'd to loſe Codille, &c. 


IV. 


Wen two and two were met of old, 


Tho' they ne'er meant to marry, They 


——— 


Ballad on Quvaranzz. 1 99 


—_— 


They were in Cupid's Books enroll'd, 
And call'd a Party Quarree; 


But now, meet when and where you will, 
A Party Quarree is Quadrille, &c. 


V. 
The Commoner, the Knight, and Peer, 
Men of all Ranks and Fame, 
Leave to their Wives the only Care 
To propagate their Name; 
And well that Duty they fulfil, 
While the good Husband's at Quadrille, Kc. 


VI. 
When Patients lic in piteous Caſe, 
In comes the Apothecary ; 
And to the Doctor cries, Alas! 


Non debes Quadrillare : 
O 4 The 


200 Ballad on QUADRILLE. 


ä 


The Patient dies without a Pill, 
For why? the Doctor's at Unadrille, &c. 


VII. 
Should France and Spain again grow loud, 
The Mzu/couite grow louder ; 
Britain to curb her Neighbours proud, 


Would want both Ball and Powder; 
Muſt want both Sword and Gun to kill; 


For why? The GeneraPs at Ohadrille, Rc. 


VIII. 

The King of late drew forth his Sword, 

(Thank God 'twas not in Wrath) 

And made, of many a Squire and Lord, 
An und aſh'd Knight of Bath. 

What are their Feats of Arms and Skill ? 


They're but nine Parties at Cuadrille, &c. 


— 


— 


Ballad on QuApbRILLE. 201 


—_— 


— 


IX. 
A Party late at Cambray met, 

Which drew all Ezrope's Eyes; 
Twas call'd in Poſt-Boy and Gazette 
The Quadruple Allies; i 

But ſome- body took ſomething ill, 


So broke this Party at OQuadrille, Kc. 


X. 


And now, God ſave this noble Realm, 
And God fave eke Hanover ; 
And God ſave thoſe who hold the Helm, 


When as the King goes over; 


But let the King go where he will, 
His Subjects muſt play at Quadrille. 
Quadrille, Quadrille, Ke. 


MOLLY 


202 


MOLLY MO G. 


OR, THE 


FAIR Maip of the Inn. 


AYS my Uncle, I pray you diſcoyer 
What hath been the Cauſe of your Woes, | 


Why you pine, and you whine, like a Lover? 
I have ſeen Molly Mog of the Roſe. 


O Nephew ! Yous rr ly, 


In Town you may in 


Half a Crown there will get you 
A Mclly much better than Meg. 


1 know that by Wits 'tis recited, 


That Women at beſt are a Clog; 


But 


MoLLYy Mos. 


— — — 


But I am not fo cafily frighted, 
ö From loving of ſweet Molly Mog. 


The School-Boy's deſire is a Play-Day, 
| The School-Maſter's Joy is to flog; 
The Milk-Maid's delight is on May-Day, 
But mine is on ſweet Molly Mog. 
| 
Wilk-a-wiſp leads the Tray'ler a gadding 
Thro' Ditch, and thro' Quagmire and Bog; 
But no Light can {ſet me a madding, 
Like the Eyes of my ſweet Molly Mog. 


For Guineas in other Mens Breeches 


Your Gameſters will palm and will cog ; 


| But T envy them none of their Riches, 
| So I may win ſweet Mo/ly Mop. 


at The 


4 


204 Morry Mas. 


— 


„ * 


* 


2 


The Heart, when half-wounded, is changing, 
It here and there leaps like a Frog; 
But my Heart can neyer be ranging, 


"Tis ſo fix'd upon fweet Molly Mog. 


Who follows all Ladies of Pleaſure, 
In Pleature 1s thought but a Hog : 
All the Sex cannot give ſo good meaſure 
Of Joys, as my ſweet Molly Moe. 


I feel Pm in Love to Diſtraction, 
My Senſes all loſt in a Fog; 
And nothing can give Satisfaction 


But thinking of ſweet Molly Mog. 


A Letter when I am inditing, 


Comes Cupid and gives me a Jog, 


— 
— 


\nd 


| 


— — 


MoLLY Mos. 


— 


And I fill all the Paper with writing 
Of nothing but ſweet Molly Mog. 


If I would not give up the three Graces 
I wiſh I were hang'd like a Dog, 

And at Court all the Drawing-Room Faces, 
For a Glance of my ſweet Molly Mog. 


Thoſe Faces want Nature and Spirit, 
And ſeem as cut out of a Log; 

Juno, Venus, and Pallas's Merit 
Unite in my ſweet Molly Mog. 


| Thoſe who toaſt all the Family Royal, 


In Bumpers of Hogan and Nog, 


Haye Hearts not more true or more loyal 


Than mine to my ſweet Molly Mog. 


1 


Were 


G. 


206 Molly Mo 


Were Virgil alive with his Phillic, 
And writing another Eclogue; 

Both his Phillis and fair Amaryllis 
He'd give up for ſweet Molly Mog, 


When ſhe ſmiles on each Gueſt, like her Liquor, 
Then Jealouſy ſets me agog. 

To be ſure ſhe's a Bit for the Yzcar, 
And fo I ſhall loſe Molly Mog. 


A NEW 


S © MN" UW 


OF NEW 


SIMILIES:. 


M * Paſſion is as Muſtard ftrong ; 
I fit, all ſober fad ; 


Drunk as a Piper all day long, 
Or like a March-Hare mad. 


Ronnd as a Hoop the Bumpers flaw ; 
I drink, yet can't forget her; 

| For tho' as drunk as David's Sow, 
A l loye her ſtill the better. 


Pert 


A —___ 


A Song of Similies. 


n 


208 


„ —— 
— — — — 


— 


— — 


Pert as a Pear-Monger I'd be, 
If Molly were but kind ; 
Cool as a Cucumber could ſee 


The reſt of Womankind. 


Like a ſtuck Pig 1 gaping ſtare, 
And eye her o'er and o'er; 


; Lean as a Rake with Sighs and Carc, 
Sleek as a Mouſe before. 


Plump as a Partrige was I known, 
And ſoft as Silk my Skin, 
My Checks as fat as Butter grown; 


But as a Groat now thin ! 


I melancholy, as a Cat, 
Am kept awake to weep; 
But ſhe inſenſible of that, 
Sound as a Top can fleep. Had 


ud | 


CY 


Song of Similies. 


209 


Hard is 1. Heart as Flint or Stone, 
She laughs to ſee me pale, 

And merry as a Grig is grown, 
And brisk as Bottled-Ale. 


The God of Love at her Approach 
Is buſy as a Bee, 
Hearts found as any Bell or Roach, 


Are ſmit and ſigh like me. 


Ay me, as thick as Hops or Hail, 
The fine Men crowd about her ; 


But ſoon as dead as a Door-Nail 
Shall I be if without her. 


Strait as my Leg her Shape appears : 


O were we join'd together! 


My Heart would be ſcot- free from Cares. 


And lighter than a Feather. P 


As 


— 


210 A Song 


As fine as Five-pence 1s her Mien, 
No Drum was ever tighter ; 


Her Glance is as the Razor keen, 


And not the Sun is brighter. 


As ſoft as Pap her Kiſſes are, 
Methinks I taſte them yet. 
Brown as a Berry is her Hair, 
Her Eyes as black as Jet; 


As ſmooth as Glaſs, as white as Curds, 
Her pretty Hand invites; 

Sharp as a Needle are her Words, 
Her Wit, like Pepper, bites : 


Brisk as a Body-Loute ſhe trips, 
Clean as a Penny dreſt; 

Sweet as a Roſe her Breath and Lips, 
Round as the Globe her Breaſt. 


of Similies. 


Full 


A Song of Similies. 211 


Full as an Egg was I with Glee ; 


And happy as a King. 
Good Lord! how all Men enyy'd me 
She loy'd like any thing. 


But falſe as Hell, ſhe, like the Wind, 
Chang'd, as her Sex muſt do. 
Tho' ſeeming as the Turtle kind, 


And like the Goſpel true; 


If I and Molly could agree, 
Let who would take Peru! 


Great as an Emp'ror ſhould I be, 


And richer than a ew ; 


Till you grow tender as a Chick, 
Pm dull as any Poſt; 

Let us, like Burs, together ſtick, 
And warm as any Toaſt. P 2 You'll 


: 


212 A Song of Smilies. 


You'll know me truer than a Dye, 
And wiſh me better ſped ; 

Flat as a Flounder when | lie, 
And as a Herring dead. 


Sure as a Gun, ſhe'll drop a Tear 
And figh perhaps, and wiſh, 
When I am rotten as a Pear, 


And mute as any Fiſh. 


— — 


213 


Newgate's GAR LAN PD: 
B EIN G 


A NEW BALLAD, 


SHEWING 


How Mr. Fonathan Wild's Throat was cut 
from Ear to Ear with a Penknife, by 
Mr. Blake, alias Blueskin, the bold High- 
wayman, as he ſtood at his Tryal in the 
Old Bailey. 1725. 


To the Tune of The Cut-purſe. 
5 

* Gallants of Newgate, whoſe Fingers are nice, 

| 


Ye Sharpers fo rich, who can buy off the Nooſe, 


In diving in Pockets, or cogging of Dice. 


Ye honeſter poor Rogues, who die in your Shoes, 


T1 Attend 


** — . — — — . 


214 | Newgate O Garland. 


Attend and draw near, 

Good News ye ſhall hear, 

How Fonathan's Throat was cut from Ear to Ear; 
How Blueskin's ſharp Penknife hath ſet you at Eaſe, 
And eyery Man round me may rob, if he pleaſe. 


IL 


When to the Old- Bailey this Blueskin was led, 
He held up his Hand, his Indictment was read, 


Loud rattled his Chains, near him Jonathan ſtood, 
For full Forty Pounds was the Price of his Blood. 

Then hopeleſs of Life, 

He drew his Penknife, 

And made a fad Widow of Jonathan's Wife. 
But Forty Pounds paid her, her Grief ſhall appeaſe, 
And every Man round me may rob, if he pleaſe. 


III. 


* 


= 


Newgate's Garland. 215 


III. 

Some ſay there are Courtiers of higheſt Renown, 
Who ſteal the King's Gold, and leave him but a Crown , 
Some ſay there are Peers, and ſome Parliament Men, 
Who meet once a Year to rob Courtiers agen : 

Let them all take their Swing, 

To pillage the King, 

And get a Blue Ribbon inſtead of a String. 
Now Blueskin's ſharp Penknife hath ſet you at Eaſe, 
And every Man round me may rob, if he pleaſe. 


IV. 
Knayes of old, to hide Guilt by their cunning In- 
ventions, | 
Call'd Briberies Grants, and plain Robberies Penſions; 
Phyſicians and Lawyers (who take their Degrees 
To be Learned Rogues) call'd their Pilfering, Fees; 


P 4 | Since 


216 Newgate Garland. 


— 


Since this happy Day, 


Now ev ry Man may 


Rob (as ſafe as in Office) upon the Highway. 


— — — 


For Blueskin's ſharp Penknife hath ſet you at Faſe, 


And every Man round me may rob, if he pleaſe. 


Church - Wardens, 
Halter, 


As yet only venture to ſteal from the Altar: 


V. 
Some cheat in the Cuſtoms, ſome rob the Exciſe, 
But he who robs both is eſteemed moſt wiſe. 


But now to get Gold, 


They may be more bold, 


too prudent to hazard the 


And rob on the Highway, ſince Jonathan's cold. 
For B:4.5&n's ſharp Penknife hath ſet you at Eaſe, 


And every Man round me may rob, if he pleaſe. 


VI. 


Neugate s Garland, * 21 7 


— "EY 


VL 
dome by publick Revenues, which pafs'd through 
| their Hands, 
Have purchasꝰd clean Houſes, and bought dirty Lands, 
Some to ſteal from a Charity think it no Sin, 
| Which, at Home (ſays the Proyerb) does always begin 3 
But, if ever you be 
Aſſign'd a Truſtee, 
| Treat not Orphans like Maſters of the Chancery, 


| But take the Highway, and more honeſtly ſeiſe, 
For every Man round me may rob, if he pleaſe. 


VII. 

hat a Pother has here been with Mood and his Braſs, 
Who wauld modeſtl y make a few Half-pennies paſs ? 

n. Patent is good, and the Precedent's old, 

For Dionnede changed his Copper for Gold: 


Dr 


218 MNewyate's Garland. 


— — 2 


But, if Ireland deſpiſe 

Thy new Half- pennies, 

With more Safety to rob on the Road I adviſe. 
For Blueskin's ſharp Penknife has ſet thee at Eaſe, 
And ey'ry Man round me may rob, if he pleaſe. | 


P R O- 


| 


| 


w_— 


— E + E Lg 
- 


PROMETHEUS. 


ON 


219 


| 


' 
| 
| 
| 
| 
| 
: 
| 
| 
4 
| 
4 


WOOD the Patentee's Iriſh Hal- Pence. 
I. 
HEN firſt the Squire and Tinker, I ood, 


| V Grayely conſulting Ireland's Good, 
Together mingl'd in a Maſs 
Smith's Duſt, and Copper, Lead, and Braſs; 


The Mixture thus by Chymick Art 


United cloſe in ey'ry Part, 


In Fillets roll?d, or cut in Pieces, 


Appear'd like one continu'd Species ; 


| 
And by the forming Engine ſtruck, 


On all the fame Impreſſion ſtuck. 


i 


2 


220 PROMETHEUS. 


— — —. 


So to confound this hated Coin, 
All Parties and Religions join; 
Whigs, Tories, Trimmers, Hannoverians, 
Duakers, Conformiſts, Presbyterians 
Scotch, Iriſh, Engliſh, French unite 
With equal Iut reſt, equal Spaght ; 


Toge her mingled in a Lump, 


Do all in O.:e Opinion jump; 
And ev' y one begins to find, 
The ſame Impreſſion on his Mind. 


A ſtrange Event! whom G incites, 
To Blood and Quarrels, Braſs unites: 


So Goldſmiths ſay, the coarſeſt Stuff 
Will ferve for Sodder well enough: 
So, by the Kettles loud Alarm, 


The Bees are gather'd to a Swarm : 


— 2 
PrROMETHEUS. 221 


— _ — 


So, by tiic Brazen Trumpet's Bluſter, 
Troops of all Tongues and Nations muſter: 
And ſo the Harp of Ireland brings 


Whole Crowds about its Brazen Strings. 


IL 
There is a Chain let down from Fove, 
; But faſten'd to his Throne above; 
So ſtrong, that from the lower End, 
They ſay, all human Things depend: 
| This Chain, as Antient Poets hold, 
| When Fove was Young, was made of Gola. 
Prometheus once this Chain purloin'd, 
| Diffolv'd, and into Money Coin'd ; 
Then whips me on a Chain of Braſs, 
Venus was Brib'd to let it pals.) 


Now while this Brazen Chain preyail'd, 
Fove ſaw that all Devotion fail'd ; No 


© 


— — —— — ot oe — 


222 PROMETHEUS. 


No Temple to his Godſhip rais'd ; 

No Sacrifice on Altars blaz'd ; 

In ſhort, ſuch dire Confuſion follow'd, 
Earth muſt have been in Chaos ſwallow'd : 
Jove ſtood amaz?d, but looking round, 
With much ado the Cheat he found ; 
»Twas plain he cou'd no longer hold 

The World in any Chain but Gold; 

And to the God of Wealth, his Brother, 


Sent Mercury to get another. 


III. 


Prometheus on a Rock is laid, 


Ty'd with the Chain himſelf had made ; 


On Icy Caucaſus to ſhiver, 


While Vultures eat his growing Liver, 


Ye Pow'rs of Grub-ſtreet, make me able, 
Diſcreetly to apply this Fable. 


— —— 


N 


| 


PROMETHEUS. 223 


- — — 
4 


day, who is to be underſtood 

By that old Thief Prometheus? WOOD. 
For Jove, it is not hard to gueſs him, 

[ mean His M—, God bleſs him. 

This Thief and Blackſmith was ſo bold, 
He ſtrove to ſteal that Chain of Gold, 
Which links the Subject to the King, 
And change it for a Brazen String. 

But ſure, if nothing elſe muſt paſs 

| Between the King and Us but Braſs, 

| 


Altho' the Chain will never crack, 


| 


: 


et our Devotion may grow ſlack. 


But Zove will ſoon convert, I hope, 


| This Brazen Chain into a Rope; 
With which Prometheus ſhall be ty'd, 


And high in Air for ever ride; 
Where, if we find his Liver grows, 


yy, | for want of Vultures we have Crows. STRE- 


STREP HON 


| AND | 
FLV IA 
I TH every Lady in the Land 


Soft Strephon kept a pother ; 
One Year he languiſh'd for one Hand, 


And next Year for the other. 


Yet when his Love the Shephetd told 
To Flavia fair and coy, 


Reſerv'd, demure, than Snow more cold, 


She ſcorn'd the gentle Boy. 


The 


——— —— 


Strephon and Flavia. 226 


Late at a Ball he. own'd his Pain 
She bluſh'd, and frown'd, and ſwore, 


With all the Marks of high Diſdain, 


She'd neyer hear him more. 


The Swain perſiſted ſtill to pray, 
The Nymph ſtill to deny; 

At laſt ſhe vow'd ſhe wou*d not ſtay; 
He ſwore ſhe ſhou'd not fly. 


| Enrag'd, ſhe call'd her Footman ftrait, 


And ruſh'd from out the Room, 


| Drove to her Lodging, lock'd the Gate, 


And lay with Ralph at Home. 


CORIN- 


CORINNA 


HIS Day, (the Year I dare not tell. 
Apollo play d the Midwife's Part, 
Into the World Corinna fell, 
And he endow'd her with his Art. 


But Cupid with a Satyr comes; 


Both ſoftly to the Cradle creep: 


Both ſtroke her Hands, and rub her Gums, | 


While the poor Child lay faſt aſleep. 


Then Cupid thus: This little Maid | 
Of Love ſhall always ſpeak and write ; 


The World ſhall feel her ſcratch and bite. 


And I pronounce, (the Satyr ſaid) | 
( 


Her 


CORINNA. 227 


a 


Her Talent ſhe diſplay d betimes; 
For in twice twelve revolving Moons, 


4 She ſeem'd to laugh and ſquawl in Rhimes, 
And all her Geſtures were Lampoons. 


At ſix Years old, the ſubtle Jade 
Stole to the Pantry-Door, and found 
The Butler with my Lady's Maid ; 
And you may ſwear the Tale went round. 


| 
| 
| 
| 


| She made a Song, how little Miſs 

| Was kiſs'd and ſlobber'd by a Lad: 
And how, when Maſter went to p 
Miſs came, and peep'd at all he had, 


At twelve, a Wit and a Coquette ; 
| Marries for Love, half Whore, half Wife; 


| Cuckolds, elopes, and runs in Debt; 


et | Turns Autb'reſs, and is Curli's for Life. Her 


| =_ 
228 CORINNA. 


— — — — 


Her Common-Place-Book all gallant is, 
Of Scandal now a Cornucopa ; 
She pours it out in an Atlantic, 

Or Memoirs of the New Utopza. 


THE 


THE 


QUIDNUNCKTS: 


A 


A LL © 
1 8 
| Occafion'd by the DE AT H of the 


Duke Regent of France. 


N 
i 


| 


| 


F Tow vain are Mortal Man's Endeavours! 
(Said, at * Dame Elliot's, Maſter Tr -- - 5) 
Good Orleans dead! in Truth 'tis hard: 

| Oh! may all Stateſmen die prepar d! 


Q 3 I 


Lo 


* A Coffee-Houſe near St. James's. 


230 The QUIDNUNCKrs. 


— — 


J do foreſee (and for Fore- ſeeing 

He equals any Man in being) 

The Army ne'er can be disbanded. 

I wiſh the King were {ſafely landed. 

Ah Friends ! great Changes threat the Land ! 
All France and England at a ſtand ! 

There's Merowers- - - mark! ſtrange Work 
And there's the C'zar, and there's the Turk 
The Pope - - - - An 1ndia-Merchant by, 

Cut ſhort the Speech with this Reply. 


— 


All at a Stand ? You ſee great Changes ? 
Ah, Sir! you never ſaw the Ganges. 
There dwell the Nations of Quiduunc bi c, 
(So Monomotapa calls Monkies : 

On either Bank, from Bough to Bough, 


They meet and chat (as we may now.) 


—_ On —— — ot 


— ccc 
The QulpNUNcEk Ts. 231 


— 
— 2 —_— — 


Whiſpers go round, they grin, they ſhrug, 
They bow, they ſnarl, they ſcratch, they hug; 
And, juſt as Chance, or Whim provoke them, 
They either bite their Friends, or ſtroke them. 


There have I ſeen, ſome active Prig 
To ſhew his Parts, beſtride a T wig : 
Lord ! how the chatt'ring Tribe admire, 
Not that he's wiſer, but he's higher : 
All long to try the yent'rous thing, 
(For Pow'r is but to have one's Swing.) 
From Side to Side he ſprings, he ſpurns, 
And bangs his Foes and Friends by turns. 


— 


Thus, as in giddy Freaks he bounces, 
Crack goes the Twig, and in he flounces ! 
Down the ſwift Stream the Wretch is born ; 


Never, ah never, to return! 


4 Q 4 Z ==> ds! 


— — ——— — 
232 The QuiDNUNCKLs. 


Z----ds! What a Fall had our dear Brother? 
Morbleu ! cries one, and Damme, t other. 
The Nations give a gen'ral Screech, 
None cocks his Tail, none claws his Breech 
Each trembles for the publick Wceal, | 
And, for a while, forgets to ſteal. 


A while, all Eyes intent and ſteddy, 
Purſue him, whirling down the Eddy. 
But out of Mind when out of View, 
Some other mounts the T wig anew ; 


And Buſineſs, on each Monkey Shore, | 
Runs the ſame Track it went before. 


AT 


þ. 4 


— Ln 


233 


AT and NO. 


A 


FABLE 


T. Fable all things hold Diſcourſe; 
Then Words, no doubt, muſt talk of courſe. 


| 


Once on a Time, near Channel. Row, 
| Two hoftile Adverbs, Ay and No, 

| Were haſt'ning to the Field of Fight, 
And Front to Front ſtood oppolite. 
Before each Ger'ral Join'd the Van, 


Ay, the more courteous Knight, began. 


— 


234 AT and NO. 


— — 


Stop, peeviſh Particle, be vare! 
I'm told you are not ſuch a Bear, 
But ſometimes yield, when offer'd fair. 
Suffer yon' Folks a while to tattle ; 
"Tis Ve who muſt decide the Battle. 
Whene'er we war on yonder Stage 
With various Fate, and equal Rage, 
The Nation trembles at each Blow 
1 That No gives Ay, and Ay gives No; 
Yet in expenſive long Contention, 
We gain nor Office, Grant, or Penſion. 
Why then ſhou'd Kznsfolks quarrel thus? 
(For, Tuo of Toa make One of Us.) 
To ſome wiſe Stateſman let us go, 
Where each his proper U/e may know. 
He may admit two ſuch Commanders, 


And make thoſe wait, who ſery'd in Flanders. 


—̃ͤ — 


AY and N O. 235 


Let's quarter on a Great-Man's Tongue, 
A Treaſ'ry Lord, not Maifter 72 - - - g. 
Obſequious at his high Command, 

Ay ſhall march forth to Tax the Land: 
Impeachments, No can beſt reſiſt, 

And Ay ſupport the Civil Lift: 

Ay! quick as Czfar, wins the Day; 
And No, like Fabius, by Delay. 


| Sometimes, in mutual fly Diſguiſe, 


Let Ay's ſeem N#s, and No ſeem Ps; 
Ay's be in Courts Denials meant, 
And Nos in Biſhops give Conſent. 


Thus Ay propos d And for Reply, 
No, for the firſt time, anſwer'd 7. 


They parted with a Thouſand Kiſles, 


And fight e' er ſince, for Pay, like Swiſſes. 


PHATLEIS: 


PAHTLLIS: 


OR, THE | 


Progreſs of LOVE 


Eſponding Phyllis was endu'd | 
1D With cv'ry Talent of a Prude: 


She trembled when a Man drew near; 
Salute her, and ſhe turn'd her Ear ; 
If o'er againſt her you were plac'd, | 
She durſt not look above your Waſte : 

She'd rather take you to her Bed, | 
Than let you ſee her dreſs her Head : 


The Progreſs of Lo vk. 237 


In Church you heard her, thro' the Crowd, 
Repcat the Ab/olutzon loud; 

In Church, ſecure behind her Fan, 

She durſt behold that Monſter, Max : 

There practis d how to place her Head, a 
And bit her Lips, to make them red; 

Or, on the Mat de voutly kneeling, 

Wou'd lift her Eyes up to the Ceiling, 

And heave her Boſom, unaware, 


For neighb' ring Beaux to ſee it bare. 


At length, a lucky Lover came, 

| And found Admittance to the Dame. 
Suppoſe all Parties now agreed, 

The Writings drawn, the Lawyer feed, 
The Vicar and the Ring beſpoke; 

Gueſs, how could ſuch a Match be broke? 


3 | See 


238 The Progreſs of Love. 


Sce then, what Mortals place their Bliſs in! 
Next Morn, betimes, the Bride was miſſing. 
The Mother ſcream'd, the Father chid ; 
Where can this idle Wench be hid ? 


No News of Phil! The Bridegroom came, 
And thought his Bride had skulk'd for Shame; 


Becauſe her Father us'd to ſay, 

The Girl had ſuch a baſhful Way. 
Now John the Butler muſt be ſent, 
To learn the Road chat Phyllis went. 
The Groom was wiſh'd to ſaddle Crop; 
For, John muſt neither light, or ſtop, 
But find her wherefoc*er ſhe fled, 

And bring her back, Alive or Dead. 


Sec here again, the Dey'l to do! 


For, truly, John was miſling too. 


— 


The 


| 


le 


—— n—— 


T he Progreſs of Lo vk. 


239 


. 


The Horſe and Pillion both were gone! 
Phyllis, it ſeems, was fled with John. 


Old Madam, who went up to find 
What Papers Phil had left behind, 


A Letter on the Toy let ſees, 

To my much Honour d Father - - - - Theſe. 
(Tis always done, Romances tell us, 
When Daughters run away with Fellows) 
Fill'd with the choiceſt Common-Places, 
By others us'd in the like Caſes; 


„That, long ago, a Fortune-teller 


K Exactly ſaid what now befel her; 
And in a G had made her ſee 
A Serving-Man of low Degree. 


It was her Fate, muit be forgiven, 


For Marriages were made in Heaven 
* His Pardon begg'd; but, to be plain, 


She'd do't if tere to do again. 


% Thank 


240 The Progreſs of Love. 


« Thank God, *twas neither Shame nor Sin, 
« For Fohn was come of honeſt Kin. 

« Love never thinks of Rich and Poor, 

& She'd beg with John from Door to Door. 
« Forgive her, if it be a Crime, 

« She'll never doꝰt another Time. 

« She ne'er before in all her Life 

Once diſobey*d him, Maid nor Wife. 

4 One Argument ſhe ſumm'd up all in, 
The Thing was done, and paſt recalling ; 
& And therefore hop'd ſhe ſhould recover 
4 His Favour when his Paſſior”s over ! 


« She yalu'd not what others thought her, 
And was - - - his moſt Obedient Daughter. 


Fair Maidens all, attend the Muſe, 


Who now the wand'ring Pair purſues. 


— ——— 


Away 


The Progreſs of Lov x. 241 


Away they rode in homely fort, 

Their Journey long, their Money ſhort ; 
The loving Couple well bemir'd ; 

The Horſe and both the Riders tir'd ; 
Their Victuals bad, their Lodging worſe ; 
Phil cry'd, and Fohn began to curſe ; 
Phil wiſh'd, that ſhe had ſtrain'd a Limb, 
When firſt ſhe ventur'd out with him: 
John wiſh d, that he had broke a Leg, 
When firſt for her he quitted Peg. 


But what Adventures more befel em, 
The Muſe hath now 12 time to tell *em; 
How Johnny wheadled, threatned, fawn'd, 
Till Phy/lzs all her Trinkets pawn'd : 
| How oft ſhe broke her Marriage Vows, 

In Kindneſs, to maintain her Spouſe, 


Way s Til 


242 The Progreſs of Lo vk. 


Till Swains unwholſome ſpoil'd the Trade; 


For now the Surgeon muſt be pay'd, 
To whom thoſe Perquiſites are gone, 
In Chriſtian Juſtice due to John. 


When Food and Rayment now grew ſcarce, 


Fate put a Period to the Farce, 

And with exact Poetick Juſtice ; 

For, Fohn is Landlord, Phyllis Hoſteſs : 
They keep, at Haines, the Old Blue Boar, 
Are Cat and Dog, and Rogue and Whore. 


THE 


PROGRESS 


POETRY. 
HE Farmer's Gooſe, who in the Stubble, 


| Has fed without Reftraint, or Trouble; 


Grown fat with Corn and Sitting ſtill, 


Can ſcarce get oꝰ er the Barn-Door Sill: 
And hardly waddles forth, to cool 
Her Belly in the neighb'ring Pool 
Nor loudly cackles at the Door ; 
For Cackling ſhews the Gooſe is poor. 
R 2 But, 


244 The Progreſs of Porter. 


But when ſhe muſt be turn'd to graze, 
And round the barren Common ftrays, 
Hard Exerciſe, and harder Fare 
Soon make my Dame grow lank and ſpare : 
Her Body light, ſhe trics her Wings, 
And ſcorns the Ground, and upward ſprings, 
While all the Pariſh, as ſhe flies, 


Hear Sounds harmonious from the Skies. 


Such is the Poet, freſh in Pay, 

(The third Night's Profits of his Play ;) 
His Morning-Draughts till Noon can ſwill, 
Among his Brethren of the Quill : 
With good Roaft Beef his Belly full, 
Grown lazy, foggy, far, and dull: 
Deep funk in Plenty, and Delight, 
What Poet e'er could take his Flight? 


— 


— — — — 


The Progreſs FPorxr. 246 


— Inns 


Or ſtuff d with Phlegm up to the Throat, 
What Poet e'er could ſing a Note? 

Nor Pegaſics could bear the Load, 

Along the high celeſtial Road; 

The Steed, oppreſs'd, would break his Girth, 
To raiſe the Lumber from the Earth. 


hut, view him in another Scene, 
When all his Drink is Hippocrene, 


His Money ſpent, his Patrons fail, 

His Credit out for Cheeſe and Ale; 

His Two-Year's Coat ſo ſmooth and hive, 15 
Through ev'ry Thread it lets in Air; 

With hungry Meals his Body pin'd, 

His Guts and Belly full of Wind; 

And, like a Jockey for a Race, 

His Fleſh brought down to Flying-Caſe 


a 


246 The Progreſs of PoErRr: 


* 
1 


Now his exalted Spirit loaths 
Incumbrances of Food and Cloaths ; 
And up he riſes like a Vapour, 
Supported high on Wings of Paper; 
He ſinging flies, and flying ſings, 
While, from below all Grub-ſtreet rings. 


THE 


TH E 


PROGRESS 


OF 


BEAXUT T. 


W. E N firſt Diana leaves her Bed, 
Vapours and Steams her Looks diſgrace, 
A frowzy dirty-colour'd Red 


Sits on her cloudy wrinkled Face; 


But, by degrees, when mounted high, 


Her artificial Face appears 
Down from her Windoy in the Sky, 


Her Spots are gone, her Viſage clears. 
R 4 "Twixt 


248 The Progreſs of Beauty. 


*Twixt earthly Females and the Moon, 
All Parallels exactly run; 
If Celia ſhould appear too ſoon, Bi 


Alas, the Nymph would be undone ! 


To ſee her from her Pillow rife, T 
All reeking in a cloudy Steam, 
Crack'd Lips, foul Teeth, and gummy Eyes, | L 


Poor $/rephon, how would he blaſpheme ! 


/ 


Three Colouts, Black, and Red, and White, B 
So graceful in their proper Place, 


Remove them to a different Light, | E 


They form a frightful hideous Face: 


For inſtance, when the Lilly skips | d 
Into the Precincts of the Roſe, 
And takes Poſſeſſion of the Lips, 


Leaving the Purple to the Noſe. So, 


The Progreſs F Beauty. 


- 


80, Celia went entire to Bed, 
All her Complexions ſafe and found ; 


| 
The Black, which would not be confin'd, 
A more inferior Station ſecks, 
Leaving the fiery Red behind, 
And mingles in her muddy Checks. 


But Celia can with caſe reduce, 
By Help of Pencil, Paint, and Bruſh, 
Each Colour to its Place and Uſe, 
And teach her Checks again to bluſh. 


* 


She knows her early ſelf no more; 
But fill'd with Admiration ftands, 


As other Painters oft adore 


The Workmanſhip of their own Hands. 


= — 


249 


But, when ſhe roſe, White, Black, and Red, 
Tho? ſtill in ſight, had chang'd their Ground. 


Thus, 


— er ne — 6 
— — 


260 The Progreſs of Beaury. 


Thus, after four important Hours, 
Celia's the Wonder of her Sex: 
Say, which among the heay'nly Pow'rs 
Could cauſe ſuch maryellous Effects? Tal 


Venus, indulgent to her Kind, 


Gave Women all their Hearts could wiſh, 
When firſt ſhe taught them where to find 


White Lead and Luſitanian Diſh. But 
Love with White Lead cements his Wings; Th 


White Lead was ſent us to repair 
Two brighteſt, Uwuittleſt, earthly Things, 
A Lady's Face, and Ching-Ware, | 1 


She ventures now to lift the Saſh, kr 


The Window 1s her proper Sphere : 
- Ah, 


* Portugal, 


. 
- 


T'be Progreſs of Beauty. 261 


— 


— — 


| 


Ah, lovely Nymph ! be not too raſh, 


Nor let the Beaux approach too near : 


Take Pattern by your Siſfer Star, 
Delude at once, and bleſs our Sight ; 
When you are ſeen, be ſeen from far, 


And chiefly chuſe to ſhine by Night. 


But, Art no longer can prevail, 


When the Materials all are gone ; 


The beſt Mechanick Hand muſt fail, 
Where nothing's left to work upon. 


Matter, as wiſe Logicians ſay, 


Cannot without a Form ſubſiſt; 


And Form, ſay I as well as they, 
Muſt fail, if Matter brings no Grift. 


h, 


And 


—_—— ——— — —— — L 


262. The Progreſs of Beauty. 


And this is fair D:ana's Calc ; 
For all Aſtrologers maintain, 

Each Night, a Bit drops off her Face, 
When Mortals ſay ſhe's in her Wane; 


While Patridge wiſely ſhews the Cauſe 
Efficient of the Moon's Decay, 


That Cancer with his pois*nous Claws, 
Attacks her in the Milky M ay: 


But Gadbury, in Art profound, 
From her pale Cheeks pretends to ſhew, 


That Swain Endymzon is not ſound, 
Or elſe, that Mercury's her Foc. 


But, let the Cauſe be what it will, 
In half a Month ſhe looks fo thin, 
That Flamftead can, with all his Skill, 
Sce but her Forehead and her Chin. 


*— 


Fi 


— 


he Progreſs of BEauTY. 263 


* 


a_— 


| Yet, as ſhe waſtes, ſhe grows diſcreet, 
Till Midnight never ſhews het Head; 


do rotting Celia ſtroles the Street, 
When ſober Folks are all a-bed : 


For ſure if this be Luna's Fate, 


Poor Celia, but of mortal Race, 


In vain expects a longer Date 
To the Materials of her Face. 


When Mercury her Trefſes mows, 
| To think of Black-Lead Combs is yain ; 
No Painting can reſtore a No/e, 


Nor will her Teeth return again. 


Ye Pow'rs, who over Love preſide ! 
Since Mortal Beautics drop fo ſoon, 
If you would have us well ſupply'd, 
t, Send us ew Nymphs with each ew Moon. PE- 


254 


PET HO the Great. 


Nor can the skilful Herald trace 
The Founder of thy antient Race. 
Whether thy Temper, full of Fire, 
Diſcovers Fulcan for thy Sire, 


The God who made Scamander boil, 
And round the Margin ſindg'd his Soil. 
(From whence Philoſophers agree, 

An equal Pow'r deſcends to thee.) 


Whether from War's ſtern God you claim 


The high Deſcent from wiicnce you came, 


And, as a Proot, fhew num'rous Scars 


By berce Encounters made in Wars; 


F RO M Venus born, thy Beauty ſhows, 


But who thy Father, no Man knows, 


Thoſe 


Pethox the Great. 266 


—_— 


| (Thoſe honourable Wound you bore 
From Head to Foot, and all before; ) 
And ſtill the bloody Field frequent, 

| Familiar in each Leader's Tent. 


| Or whether, as the Learn'd contend, 


You from the Neighb'ring Gaul deſcend ; 
or from Parthenope the proud, 
Where numberleſs thy Vot'ries crowd : 

1 Whether thy Great Forefathers came 
From Realms that bear Yeſ>utio's Name : 
| For 10 Conjectors would obtrude, 

| And from thy painted Skin conclude. 
Whether, as Epicurus ſhows 


The World from juſtling Seeds aroſe, 


| Which mingling with prolifick Strife 
| In Chaos, kindled into Life ; 


do your Production was the ſame, 


And from contending Atoms came. 


ole | Thy 


—  ——— —— ES 


FE — — 
= _— - = — = 


s a 2 — — 
- - 
4 — - — 
— —— En — . 71O— , —‚— —_——_ 5 = 
TWIST I ẽ —— — 8 IEC — 


* 
4 
. 


266 Pethox the 


Great. 


Thy fair indulgent Mother crown'd 
Thy Head with ſparkling Rubies round . 
Beneath thy decent Steps, the Road 
Is all with precious Jewels ſtrow'd. 
The Bird of Pallas knows his Poſt, 


Thee to attend where-c'er thou go'ſt. 


Byzantians boaſt, that on the Clod 
Where once their Sultan Horſe hath trod, 


Grows neither Graſs, nor Shrub, nor Tree ; 


The ſame thy Subjects boaſt of Thee. 


The greateſt Lord, when you appear, 
Will deign your Livery to wear, 
In all the various Colours ſeen, 


Of Red, and Yellow, Blue, and Green. 


With 


* Eubo, the Owl. 


Ky — n 


and 


Pethox the Great. 267 | 


— 


— — 
. 


With half a Word, when you require, 
The Man of Bus'neſs muſt retire. 


* 


The haughty Miniſter of State 
With Trembling muſt thy Leiſure wait; 
And while his Fate is in thy Hands, 
The Bus'neſs of the Nation ſtands. 

| 


Thou dar'ſt the greateſt Prince attack, 
Can't hourly ſet him on the Rack, 
And, as an Inſtance of thy Pow'r, 

Incloſe him in a wooden Tow'r, 
Wich pungent Pains on ev'ry Side: 


So Regulus in Torments dy?d. 


| From thee our Youth all Virtues learn, 


h }{ Dangers with Prudence to diſcern ; 


5 &- And 


268 Petbox the Great. 


And well thy Scholars arc endu'd 
With Temp'rance, and with Fortitude ; 


With Patience, which all Ills ſupports, 
And Secrecy, the Art of Courts. 


The glitt'ring Beau could hardly tell, 
Without your Aid, to read or ſpell ; 
But, having long convers'd with you, 


Knows how to write a Billet-doux. 


With what Delight, methinks, I trace 
Your Blood in ev'ry Noble Race ! 


In whom thy Features, Shape, and Mien, 
Are to the Lite diſtinctly ſcen. 


The Britons, once a ſavage Kind, 


By you were brighten'd and refin'd, 


Deſcen- 


1 „ñ„— 4 th my p * 1 ? FP 


_— - 


—— 
Pethox the Great. 259 

Deſcendents of the barbarous Funs, 

With Limbs robuſt, and Voice that ftuns ; 

But you have molded them afreſh, 


| Remoy'd the tough ſuperfluous Fleſh, 


Taught them to modulate their Tongues, 
And ſpeak without the Help of Lungs. 


Proteus on you beſtow'd the Boon 
| To change your Viſage like the Moon, 
So ſometimes half a Face produce, 


Keep t'other Half for private Ule. 


How fam'd thy Conduct in the Fight, 
With * Hermes, Son of Pleias bright. 
Out-number'd, half encompals'd round, 


You ftrove for ev'ry Inch of Ground; 


8 2 Then 


1 bet Cee. + th - * 


m_— - 


2 * Mercury. 


— 


26 We 


Then, by a Soldierly Retreat, 

Retir'd to your Imperial Seat. 

The Victor, when your Steps he trac'd, 
Found all the Realms before him waſte; 
You, o'er the high Triumphal Arch 


Pontifick, made your glorious March; 
The wond rous Arch behind you fell, 
' And left a Chaſm profound as Hell : 


You, in your Capitol ſecur'd, 


A Siege as long as Troy endur'd. | 


THE 


THE 


LAMEN TATION 


O F 
GLUMDALCLITCH 
For the Loss of 
J 4a2 720 


A Pas TORAL 


OON as Glumdalclitch miſs'd her pleaſing Care, 
8 She wept, ſhe blubber'd, and ſhe tore her Hair. 
| No Britiſh Miſs ſincerer Grief has known, 
| Her Squirrel miſſing, or her Sparrow flown. 
| She furl'd her Sampler, and hawl'd in her Thread, 
| And ſtuck her Needle into Grildrigs Bed; 
| Then ſpread her Hands, and with a Bounce let fall 


| Her Baby, like the Giant in Gu:/dball. | 
S 3 In 


* 


— A ee ee ee 


262 The Lamentation of 


In Peals of Thunder now ſhe roars, and now 

She gently whimpers like a lowing Cow : 

Yet lovely in her Sorrow {till appears : 

Her Locks diſhevell'd, and her Flood of Tears 
Secm like the lofty Barn of ſome rich Swain, 
When from the Thatch drips faſt a Show'r of Rain. 


In yain ſhe ſearch'd each Cranny of the Houſe, 
Each gaping Chink impervious to a Mouſe. 
« Was it for this (ſhe cry'd) with daily Care 
« Within thy reach I ſet the Vinegar ? 
« And fill'd the Cruct with the acid Tide, 
While Pepper-Water Worms thy Bait ſupply'd; 
Where twin'd the Silver Eel around thy Hook, 
« And all the little Monſters of the Brook. 


c Sure in that Lake he dropt: My Griliy's drowmd.— 
She dragg'd the Cruet, but no Grildrig found. 


6 Vain 


. 
— — _ 


263 


——— 


— 


GLUMDALCLITCH. 


ͤä— 


« Vain is thy Courage, Gr:ly, vain thy Boaſt : 
« But little Creatures enterprize the moſt. 
« Trembling, I've ſeen thee dare the Kitten's Paw, 
© Nay mix with Children, as they play*d at Taw, 


| * Nor fear the Marbles, as they bounding flew: 


« Marbles to them, but rolling Rocks to you. 


« Why did I truſt thee with that giddy Youth? 
« Who from a Page can ever learn the Truth ? 
« Vers'd in Court 'Tricks, that Money-loving Boy 
To ſome Lord's Daughter fold the living Toy; 
« Or rent him Limb from Limb in cruel Play, 


« As Children tear the Wings of Flies away : 


« From Place to Place o'er Brobdingnag I'll roam, 
And never will return, or bring thee home. 


« But who hath Eyes to trace the paſſing Wind? 


ne How then, thy fairy Footſteps can I find ? 


S 4 Doſt 


— 


264 The Lament at ion of © 


ny Doſt thou bewildred wander all alone, . 60 
In the green Thicket of a Moſſy Stone, « 
« Or tumbled from the Toadſtool's ſlipp'ry Round, « 
« Perhaps all maim'*d, he groveling on the Ground ? (c 
« Doſt thou, imboſom'd in the lovely Roſe, 6 
« Or ſunk within the Peach's Down, repoſe? « 
« Within the King-Cup if thy Limbs are ſpread, « 
« Qr in the golden Cowſlip's velvet Head, i 


O ſhew me, Flora, midſt thoſe Sweets, the Flow'r | « 
Where ſleeps my Grildrig in his fragrant Bow'r! , 


« But ah! I fear thy little Fancy roves 
« On little Females, and on little Loves ; 
Thy Pigmy Children, and thy tiny Spouſe, 
The Baby Playthings that adorn thy Houle, 


Doors, Windows, Chimneys, and the ſpacious Rooms 


Equal in Size to Cells of Honeycombs. | 


« Haſt 


GLUMDALCLITCH. 265 


_— 


Haſt thou for theſe now ventu d from the Shore, 
« 'Thy Bark a Bcan-ſhell, and a Straw thy Oar? 

« Or in thy Box, now bounding on the Main ? 
„Shall I ne'er bear thy ſelf and Houſe again? 

« And ſhall I ſet thee on my Hand no more, 


To ſee thee leap the Lines, and tra verſe o'er 


My ſpacious Palm? of Stature ſcarce a Span, 
* Mimick the Actions of a real Man ? | 
No more behold thee turn my Watches Key, 
As Scamen at a Capſtern Anchors weigh? 


* How vert thou wont to walk with cautious Tread, 
A Diſh of Tea like Milk-Pail on thy Head? 

* How chaſe the Mite that bore thy Cheeſe away, 

| © And keep the rolling Maggot at a Bay ? 


She ſaid; but broken Accents ſtopt her Voice, 
Soft as the Speaking-Trumpet's mellow Noiſe: 


She 


— 


— 


266 The Lamentation of, &c. 


— 


She ſobb d a Storm, and wip'd her flowing Eyes, 
Which ſeem'd like two broad Suns in miſty Skies: 


O! ſquander not thy Grief ; thoſe Tears command 
To weep upon our Cod in Neu found. Land: 

The plenteous Pickle ſhall preſerve the Fiſh, 

And Europe taſte thy Sorrows in her Diſh. 


M A R + i | 


267 


ms 


_— 


MARY GULLIVER 


T O 
Capt. LEMUEL GULLIVER. 


ARGUMENT. 


The Captain, ſome time after his Return, bein 

retired to Mr. Sympſon's in the Country, Mrs. 
Gulliver, apprehending from his late Behavi ur 
| ſome Eſtrangement of his AffetTions, writes him 
| 


the following expoſtulating , ſoothing , and tenderly- 
complaining E.P1STLE. 


W 


----- What, touch me not? what, ſhun a Wife's 


ELCOME, thrice welcome, to thy nati ve 
Place ! 


_ — ts” "Mn * 


| Embrace ? 
Have 1 for this thy tedious Abſence born, 


| And wak'd and with'd whole Nights for thy Return? 


| In 


_ 


268 Mary Gulliy 


— 


T 70 


In five long Years I took no ſecond Spouſe; 

What Redriff Wife ſo long hath kept her Vows ? 
Your Eyes, your Noſe, Inconſtancy betray ; 

Your Noſe you ſtop, your Eyes you turn away. 
Tis ſaid, that thou ſhouldſt cleave unto thy Wife ; 
Once thou didſt cleave, and I could cleave for Life. 


” > wdl © wi 


Hear, and relent! hark, how thy Children moan; v 
Be kind at leaſt to theſe, they are thy own : I 
Be bold, and count them all; ſecure to find 

The honeſt Number that you left behind. 

Sce how they pat thee with their pretty Paws : 
Why ſtart you ? are they Snakes? or haye they Claws? 
Thy Chriſtian Seed, our mutual Fleſh and Bone : 


Be kind at leaſt to theſe, they are thy own. 


* Biddel, like thee, might fartheſt Iudia rove 
He chang'd his Country, but retain'd his Love. 


A 


* Names of Sea-Captains mentioned in Guiliver's Travels. 


There's 


F 


— 


—— nnn — 
Lemuel Gulliver. 269 

There's Captain Pannell, abſent half his Life, 

Comes back, and is the kinder to his Wife. 

Yet PannelPs Wife is brown, compar'd to me, | 

And Miſtreſs Biddel ſure is Fifty three. 


Not touch me! never Neighbour call'd me Slut F 
Was Flimnap's Dame more ſweet in Lilliput? 
Pye no red Hair to breathe an odious Fume; 
At leaſt thy Conſort's cleaner than thy Groom. 
Why then that dirty Stable- boy thy Care? 


What mean thoſe Viſits to the Sorrel Mare? 


day, by what Witchcraft, or what Dzmon led, 
Preferr'ſt thou Litter to the Marriage Bed 2 


Some ſay the Dey'l himſelf is in that Mare. 
If fo, our Dean ſhall drive him forth by Prayer. 
Some think you mad, ſome think you are poſleſt, 
That Bedlam and clean Straw would ſuit you beſt: - 


$ Vain 


2 — — — 


271 Lemuel Gulliver. 


— — 


Vain Means, alas, this Frenzy to appeaſe 


That rat, that Stra would heighten the Diſeaſe. 


My Bed (the Scene of all our former Joys, 
Witneſs two lovely Girls, two lovely Boys) 
Alone I preſs; in Dreams I call my Dear, 

T ſtretch my Hand, no Gulliver is there! 

I wake, I riſe, and ſhiv*ring with the Froſt, 
Search all the Houſe ; my Gulliver is loſt ! 
Forth in the Street I ruſh with frantick Cries ; 
The Windows open; all the Neighbours riſe: 

I here ſleeps my Gulliver? O tell me where ! 

The Neighbours anſwer, © ꝰÜWith the Sorrel Mare. 


At carly Morn, I to the Market haſte, 
(Studious in ey'ry Thing to pleaſe thy Taſte ; ) 
A curious Fowl and Sparagras I choſe, 


(For 1 remember?d you were fond of thoſe,) 


Three 


NIE A ere 
Mary Gulliver % 270 


— — 


Three Shillings coſt the firſt, the laſt ſev*n Groats; 


Sullen you turn from both, and call for Oats. 


Others bring Goods and Treaſure to their Houſes, 
| Something to deck their pretty Babes and Spouſes; 1 


My only Token was a Cup like Horn, 1 
That's made of nothing but a Lady's Corn. 
'Tis not for that I grieve; no, 'tis to fee 


| The Groom and Sorrel! Mare preterr'd to me! 
i 


Theſe, for tome Moments when you deign to quit, 
| And (at due diſtance) tweet Diſcourſe admit, 
Tis all my Pleature thy pait Toll to know, 
| For pleas'd Remembrance builds Delight on Woe. 
At ey'ry Danger pants thy Conſort's Breaſt, 
| And gaping infants ſquawl to hear the reft. 


| How did I tremble, when by Thoufands bound, 
1 faw thee ſtretch'd on Lillipatian Ground; 


When 


ht. 


272 Mary Gulliver 10 


— — 


When ſcaling Armies climb'd up ev'ry Part, 

Each Step they trod, I felt upon my Heart. 

But when thy Torrent quench'd the dreadful Blaze, 
King, Queen, and Nation, ſtaring with Amaze, 
Full in my View how all my Husband came, 

And what extinguiſh'd theirs, encreas*d my Flame. 
Thoſe Spectacles, ordain'd thine Eyes to ſave, | 
were once my Preſent; Love that Armour gave. 
How did I mourn at Bolgolam's Decree ! 

For when he ſign'd thy Death, he ſentenc'd me. 


When Folks might ſec thee all the Country round 
For · Six Pence, I'd have giv'n a Thouſand Pound. 
Lord ! when the Giant-Babe that Head of thine 


Got in his Mouth, my Heart was up in mine ! 
When in the Marrou-Boue | tee thee ramm'd, 


Or on the Houſe-top by the Monkey cramm'd ; 


'The 


Lemuel Gulliver. 273 


The piteous Images renew my Fain, 
And all thy Dangers I weep o'er again. 
But on the Maiden's Nipple when. you rid, | 
Pray Heav'n, *twas all a wanton Maiden did! | 


| 
' Glumaalclitch too! — with thee I mourn her Caſe. 


Heav'n guard the gentle Girl from all Diſgrace! | 
O may the King that one Neglect forgive, 
And pardon her the Fault by which I live! {7 


Was there no other Way to ſet him free ? 


My Life, alas! I fear prov'd Death to Thee. 


O teach me, Dear, new Words to fpeak my Flame ! 
Teach me to wooe thee by thy beft-lov'd Name! 
Whether the Stile of Crilarig pleaſe thee moſt, 

So call'd on Brobdingnag's ſtupendous Coaſt, 
When on the Monarch's ample Hand you fate; 
And hollow'd in his Ear Intrigues of State : 


5 T Or 


—— —. — 


274 Mary Gulliver, &c. 


Or Quinbus Fleſirin more Endearment brings, 


When like a Mountain you look'd down on Kings: 
If Ducal Nardac, Lilliputian Peer, | 


Or Glumglum's humbler Title ſooth thy Ear; 


Nay, would kind ov my Organs ſo diſpoſe, 
To hymn harmonious Houybhnrhnm thro? the Noſe, 


I'd call thee Houyhnham, that high ſounding Name, 
Thy Childrens Noſes all ſhould twang the fame. 

So might I find my loving Spouſe of courſe 

Endu'd with all the Yzrtnes of a Hor /e. 


T O 


! 
1 
| 


T O 


' QUINBUS FLESTRIN, 


1 H E 


MAN MouNTAIN. 


5 


| 
: 
| 
| 


A 


Lilliputian 


N Amaze 
1 Loſt, I gaze. 
Can our Eyes 
Reach thy Size? 


May my Lays 
Swell with Praiſe, 


T 2 


O D E. 


. 


Worthy 


ä 
5 


276 A Lilliputian Ode. 


— 


Worthy thee ! 
Worthy me ! 
Muſe inſpire, 
All thy Fire! 
Bards of old 
Of him told, 
When they ſaid 
Atlas Head 
Propt the Skies : 


Sec! and believe your Eyes! 


II. 
Sce him ſtride 
Valleys wide: 
Over Woods, 
Over Floods. 
Wen he treads; 


Mountains Heads 


"_ 


Groan 


— — 


2 


—— 


Lilliputian Ode. 277 


— 


Groan and ſhake: 
Armies quake, 
| Left his Spurn 


Overturn 
Man and Steed: 
Troops take Heed ! 


Left and Right, 
Speed your Flight ! 
Left an Hoſt 

Beneath his Foot be loft. 


HE 
Turn'd aſide 
From his Hide, 
| Safe from Wound 
| Darts rebound. 
From his Noſe 
A Clouds he blows : 


1 13 When 


— —— 


278 


A Lalliputian Ode. 


Lofty Poet ! touch the Sky. 


When he ſpeaks, 


Thunder breaks ! 
When he eats, 


Famine threats! 
When he drinks, 
Neptune ſhrinks ! 
Nigh thy Ear, 
In Mid Air, 

On thy Hand, 
Let me ſtand; 
So ſhall TI 


* 
"2 17 ISO mo . 


$ 
3 , 


279 


A GENTLE 
SE UC HH UW 
O N 
W O M AN. 


— — — — 


In the Dokicx Manner. 


Shepherd; | 
CHO, I ween, will in the Woods reply, 
E And quaintly anſwer Queſtion : Shall Itry? 


| Echo: 7. 2 
Shepherd, 


What muſt we do our Paſſion to expreſs ? 
Echo: Preſs. 
T4 £ Shepherd ; 


— 60600 p «ĩ§—ꝗ( ̃ 


280 Echo on Woman. 


1 


Shepherd ; 
How ſhall I pleaſe her who ne'er loy'd before? 


Shepherd Echo: Before. 


What moſt moves Women, when we them addreſs ? 


| Echo: A Dreſs. 
Shepherd; 


Say what can keep her chaſte, whom I adore ? 
Echo: A Door, 
Shepherd; 


If Muſick ſoftens Rocks, Love tunes my Lyre. 


Echo: Lyar! 
Shepherd; 


Then teach me, Echo, how ſhall I come by her? 


Echo: Buy her. 
Shepherd; 


When bought, no queſtion, I ſhall be her Dear. 
Echo: Her Deer. 


Shepherd ; 


a — — 


| 


— ——— 


: 
the. 
— * 8 


— — 


Exbo on 


Shepherd ; 
But Deer have Horns; how muſt I keep her under? 


Echo: Keep her under. 
Shepherd; 


How ſhall I hold her ne'er to part a- ſunder. 


Echo: A--- ſe under. 
Shepherd ; 


But what can glad me when ſhe's laid on Bier? 


Echo: Beer. 
Shepherd ; 


What muſt I do, when Woman will be kind? 


Ee: Be kind. 
Shepherd ; 


What muſt I do when Woman will be croſs ? 
Echo: Be croſs. 


Shepherd ; 


Lord! what is ſhe that can ſo turn and wind? 


Echo: Wind. 


UC CEE 


282 Echo on Woman. 


Shepherd ; 
If ſhe be Wind, what ſtills her when ſhe blows ? 
Echo: Blows. 
Shepherd ; | 


But if ſhe bang again, ftill ſhould I bang her ? 
Echo: Bang her. 


Shepherd; 
Is then no Way to moderate her Anger? 
Echo: Hang her. 
Shepherd ; 


Thanks, gentle Echo, right thy Anſwers tell, 
What Woman is, and how to guard her well. 
Echo: Guard her Well. 


E P 


| 


= 


— 9 — - i * 4 - 
—_— d 8 — * CAA — — 


I. awe 4. 


l 
. 
: 


203 


EPILOGUE to a Play, 


For the BENEFIT of the 


WEAVERS in Ireland. 


nd. — 


H O dares affirm this is no pious Age, 


When Charity begins to tread the Stage? 
When Actors, who at beſt are hardly Savers, 

Will give a Night of Benefit to Weavers? 
| Stay, - Let me ſee, how finely will it ſound ! 


Imprimis, From his Grace a hundred Pound. 
Peers, Clergy, Gentry, all are Benefactors; 
And then comes in the Item of the Actors. 


| 
| ſtem, the Actors freely gave a Day, 


| The Poet had no more, who made the Play. 


* 


But 


—— —„-— 


284 Epi logue to the Weavers Play. 


But whence this wond'rous Charity in Play*rs ? 
They learnt it not at Sermons, or at Pray?rs. 
Under the Roſe, fince here are none but Friends, 
(To own the Truth) we have ſome private Ends. 
Since Waiting- Women, like exacting Jades, 
Hold up the Prices of their old Brocades, 

Well dreſs in Manufactures made at home; 
Equip our Kings and Generals at the Comb. 
We'll Rig in Meath-Street Egypt's haughty Queen; 
And Anthony ſhall court her in Ratteen. 

In blue Shalloon ſhall Hannibal be clad, 

And Scipz0 trail an Iriſb Purple Plad. 

In Drugget dreſt of thirteen Pence a Yard, 

Sec Philtp”s Son amidſt his Per/ian Guard; 

And proud Roxana fir'd with jealous Rage, 

Wich fifty Yards of Crape, ſhall {weep the Stage. 
In ſhort, our Kings and Princeſſes within, 


Are all reſolv'd the Project to begin; 


— 


= RE. es oe 


— — 


Epilogue to the Weavers Play. 28 5 


And you, our Subjects, when you here reſort, 
Muſt Imitate the Faſhion of the Court. 


Oh! cou'd I ſee this Audience clad in Staff, 


; Tho? Money's ſcarce, we ſhould have Trade enough : 


But Chints, Brocades, and Lace take all away, 


And ſcarce a Crown is left to fee a Play: 


Perhaps, you wonder whence this Friendſhip ſprings 


Between the Weavers and us Play-Houſe Kings; 


But Wit and Weaving had the ſame Beginning ; 
Pallas firſt taught us Poetry and Spinning : 


And next obſerve how this Alliance fits, 


For Weavers now are juſt as poor as Wits : 

Their Brother Quill-Men, Workers for the Stage, 
For ſorry Stuff” can get a Crown a Page; 

But Weavers will be kinder to the Players, 

And Sell for Twenty Pence a Yard of theirs. 


And, to your Knowledge, there is often leſs in 


nl | The Poer's Wit, than in the Player's Dreſſing 


E PIT APH 


ON A 
1523 2 


ENEATH this verdant Hithck lies 
Demar the Wealthy and the Wiſe. 
His Heirs, that he might ſafely reſt, 

Have put his Carcaſs in a Cheſt : 

The very Cheſt, in which, they ſay, 

His other Self, his Money, lay. 

And if his Heirs continue kind 

To that dear Self he left behind, 

I dare believe, that Four in Five 

Will chink his better Half alive, 


* a * * 
- 


To 


10 


r 


Who Collected and Tranſcribed his 
POEM S 
! - FI 


S when a lofty Pile 1s rais'd, 


uot a Dro 


| We never hear the Workmen prais'd, 
Who bring the Lime, or place the Stones; 

But all admire [nzgo Jones 

So if this Pile of ſcatter'd Rhymes 

| Should be approv'd in Afffer-times, A 


| If it both pleaſes and endures, 


The Merit and the Praiſe are yours. 


4 
i 


Thou 


- 
„ 
— — — 


To STELLA. 


—— 


Thou Szella, wert no longer young, 


When firſt for thee my Harp I ftrung : 
Without one Word of Cxpid's Darts, 


Of killing Eyes, or bleeding Hearts: 
With Friendſhip and Eſteem poſleſt, 
I ne'er admitted Love a Gueſt. 


In all the Habitudes of Life, 
The Friend, the Miſtreſs, and the Wife, 
Variety we ſtill purſue, 


_ — j ACS * 4. 4 a  — 


In Pleaſure ſeek for ſomething new: 
Or elſe, comparing with the reſt, 
Take Comfort, that our own is beſt : 
(The beſt we value by the worſt, 

As Tradeſmen ſhew their Traſh at firſt : ) 


But his Purſuits are at an End, | 


Whom Stella chuſes for a Friend. | 


* 
＋—K— — rr 


To STELLA. 


— — * — 
»—ü— 
— 


me Poet, ſtarving in a Garret, 
Conning old Topicks like a Parrot, 
Invokes his Miſtreſs and his Muſe, 


And ftays at home for want of Shoes : 


Should but his Muſe deſcending drop 

A Slice of Bread, and Mutton-Chop, 

Or kindly when his Credit's out, 

Surprize him with a Pint of Stout, 

Or patch his broken Stocking Soals. 

Or ſend him in a Peck of Coals; 

Exalted in his mighty Mind 

He flies, and leaves the Stars behind. 
Counts all his Labours amply paid, 

Adores her for the timely Aid. 


Or ſhould a Porter make Enquiries 


For Chloe, Sybtuia, Phillis, Iris; 


U 


= 
65 


— — — » — * 
— > hn a 
——— — — r— — — — F — 


290 To STELLA. 


Be told the Lodging, Lane, and Sign, 
The Bow'rs that hold thoſe Nymphs divine ; 


Fair Chloe would perhaps be found 

With Footmen tippling under Ground, 

The charming Silvia beating Flax, 

Her Shoulders mark'd with bloody Tracks ; 
Bright Phillis mending ragged Smocks, 
And radiant Iris in the Pox. 


Theſe are the Goddeſſes enroll'd 
In CurlPs Collections, new and old, 
Whoſe Scoundrel Fathers would not know em, 


If they ſhould meet em in a Poem. 


True Poets can depreſs and raiſe; 


Are Lords of Infamy and Praiſe: 


They are not ſcurrilous in Satire, 


Nor will in Panegyrick fatter. 


Unjuſtly 


+ a 


wc oo 


——— — — — — — — 


To STELLA. 291 


» 


Unjuſtly Poets we aſperſe 
Truth ſhines the brighter, clad in Verſe; 
And all the Fictions they purſue 


Do but infinuate what 1s true. 


Now ſhould my Praiſes owe their Truth 
To Beauty, Dreſs, or Paint, or Youth, 
What Stoicks call without our Power, 
They could not be inſur'd an Hour; 
'Twere grafting on an annual Stock 


That muſt our Expectation mock, 


And making one luxuriant Shoot 


Die the next Year for want of Root: 
Before I could my Verſes bring, 
Perhaps you're quite another Thing. 


So Mævius, when he drain'd his Skull 


To celebrate ſome Suburb Trull ; my 


U 2 His 5 


—— 0 ewe 


— — ——— ——_-— 


292 To STELLA. 


mm — — ms 


His Similes in Order ſet, 

And ev'ry Crambo he could get; 

Had gone through all the Common-Places 
Worn out by Wits who rhyme on Faces ; 
Before he could his Poem cloſe, 


The lovely Nymph had loft her Noſe. 


Your Virtues ſafely I commend, 
They on no Accidents depend: 
Let Malice look with all her Eyes, 


She dares not ſay the Poet lyes. 


Stella, when you theſe Lines tranſcribe, 
Left you ould tate them for a Bribe, 
Retoly'd to mortify your Pride, 


I'li here expoſe your weaker Side. 


Your 


— P ee. 8638 — ——— : — 


To STELLA. 293 


—_ ____ 


Your Spirits kindle to a Flame, 


Moy'd with the lighteſt Touch of Blame ; 
And when a Friend in Kindneſs tries 


To ſhew you where your Error lies, 
Conviction does but more incenſe ; 
Perverſeneſs is your whole Defence: 
Truth, Judgment, Wit, give Place to Spite, 

Regardleſs both of Wrong and Right. 

Your Virtues, all ſuſpended, wait 

Till Time hath open'd Reaſon's Gate: 
And what is worſe, your Paſſion bends 


Its Force againſt your neareſt Friends; 


Which Manners, Decency, and Pride, 

, Have taught you from the World to hide: 
In vain; for ſee, your Friend hath brought 
To publick Light your only Fau't; 

And yet a Fault we often find 


Mix'd in a noble generous Mind; . 


And 


- 
* 
— — — — 


294 To STELL 4. 


And may compare to Mtna's Fire, 
Which, tho? with Trembling, all admire; 
The Heat that makes the Summit glow, 
Enriching all the Vales below. 

Thoſe who in warmer Climes complain 
From Phebus Rays they ſuffer Pain, 


weld , ̃ Wt Wd wa 


Muſt own, that Pain is largely paid 
By gen'rous Wines beneath a Shade. 


Yet when I find your Paſſions riſc, 


And Anger ſparkling in your Eyes, | 
I gricye thoſe Spirits ſhould be ſpent, 
For nobler Ends by Nature meant. 
One Paſſion, with a diff *rent Turn, | 
Makes Wit inflame, or Anger burn ; | 

So the Sun's Heat, with different Powers, 


Ripens the Grape, the Liquor fours. 


Thus 


— — 


— 


To STELLA 


Thus Ajax, when with Rage poſſeſt 

By Pallas breath 'd into his Breaſt, 

His Valour would no more employ; 

Which might alone haye conquer'd Troy ; 
But blinded by Reſentment, ſeeks | 
For Vengeance on has Friends the Greeks. 


You think this Turbulence of Blood 
| From ſtagnating preſerves the Flood; 


Which thus fermenting, by Degrees | 
Exalts the Spirits, ſinks the Lees. 


Stella, for once you reaſon wrong ; 
| For ſhould this Ferment laſt too long, 
By Time ſubſiding, you may find 
Nothing but Acid left behind. 
From Paſſion you may then be freed, 
When Peeyiſhneſs and Spleen ſucceed. 
X 


* — ————————_—— je 


— 


296 


Say, Stella, when you copy next, 
Will you keep ſtrictly to the Text? 
Dare you let theſe Reproaches ftand, 
And to your Failing ſet your Hand ? 
Or if theſe Lines your Anger fire, 

Shall they in baſer Flames expire? 
Whene er they burn, if burn they muſt, | 
They'll prove my Accuſation juſt. 4 


ON 


297 


DR E AMS. 


Imitation of PETRONIUS. 


— — „ 
e 


Somnia que mentes ludunt volitantibus umbris, &c. 


_— 


1 


And with falſe flitting Shades our Minds delude, 


HOSE Dreams that on the ſilent Night 


intrude, 


Jove never ſends us downward from the Skies, 
Nor can they from infernal Manſions riſe; 
But all are meer Productions of the Brain, 


And Fools conſult Interpreters in vain. 


X 2 


For, 


298 On DREAMS. 


For, when in Bed we reſt our weary Limbs, 
The Mind unburthen'd ſports in various Whims, 
The buſy Head with mimick Art runs o'er 
The Scenes and Actions of the Day before. 


\ 


The drowſy Tyrant, by his Minibns led, "rr 
To regal Rage devotes ſome Patriot's Head. 
With equal Terrors, not with equal Guilt, 
The Murd'rer dreams of all the Blood he ſpilt. 


The Soldier ſmiling hears the Widows Cries, 
And ſtabs the Son before the Mother's Eyes. 


With like Remorſe his Brother of the Trade, 
The Butcher, feels the Lamb beneath his blade, 


The Stateſman rakes the Town to find a Plot, 
And dreams of Furfeitures by Treaſon got. 
Nor lefs Tom-T - - d- Man of true Stateſman mold, 
Col lects the City Filth in ſearch of Gold. Or- 


no; - wv = EL Ai 0 


On DREAMS. 299 


» 


E 


Orphans around his Bed the Lawyer ſees, 
And takes the Plaintiff's and Defendant's Fees. 
His Fellow Pick-Purſe, watching for a Job, 
Fancies his Fingers in the Cully's Fob. 


The kind Phyſician grants the Husband's Prayers, 
Or gives Relief to long expecting Heirs. 
The ſleeping Hangman ties the fatal Nooſe, 


Nor unſucceſsful waits for dead Mens Shoes. 


The grave Divine with knotty Points perplext, 
As if he was awake, nods o'er his Text: 


While the fly Mountebank attends his Trade, 
Harangues the Rabble, and is better paid. 


The hireling Senator of modern Days, 
Bedaubs the guilty Great with nauſeous Praiſe : 


And Dic the Scavenger with equal Grace, 


| Flirts from his Cart the Mud in - - 's Face. 


X 3 T O 


n 


Viſiting me in my Sickneſs. 


— 


3 


October, 1727. 


ALL AS obſerving Stell2's Wit 
Was more than for her Sex was fit ; 


And that her Beauty, ſoon or late, 
Might breed Confuſion in the State, 
In high Concern for human Kind, 
Fixt Honour in her Infant Mind. 


But, (not in Wranglings to engage 
With ſuch a ſtupid vicious Age,) 


| 


| 


_ . _____w__w_—©lw__All_ ” 


To STELLA. 301 


— 
__— 


If Honour I would here define, 

It anſwers Faith in Things divine. 
As nat'ral Life the Body warms, 
And, Scholars teach, the Soul informs; 
So Honour animates the Whole, 
And is the Spirit of the Soul. 


| Thoſe num'rous Virtues which the Tribe 
| Of tedious Moraliſts deſcribe, 
| And by ſuch yarious Titles call, 
True Honour comprehends them all. 
Let Melancholy rule ſupreme, 
Choler preſide, or Blood, or Phlegm, 
It makes no Diff 'rence in the Caſe, 


Nor is Complexion Honour's Place. 


But, leſt we ſhould for Honour take 
The drunken Quarrels of a Rake, 
N 4 


— — —_ 


302 To STELLA + 


* 


Or think it ſeated in a Scar, 

Or on a proud triumphal Car, 

Or in the Payment of a Debt 

We loſe with Sharpers at Piquet; 


Or, when a Whore in her Vocation, 

Keeps punctual to an Aſſignation; 

Or that on which his Lordſhip ſwears, 
When vulgar Knaves would loſe their Ears: | 
Let &. bella fair Example preach e 


A Leflon ſhe alone can teach. 


In Points of Honour to be try'd, 
All Paſſions muſt be laid aſide: 
Ask no Ad vice, but think alone, 


Suppoſe the Queſtion not your own : 
How ſhall I act? is not the Caſe, 


But how would Brutus in my Place ? 
In ſich a Cauſe would Cato bleed ? 


And how would Scrates proceed Dri ve 


To STELLA. 303 


— 


Drive all Objections from your Mind, 
Elſe you relapſe to Human Kind: 
Ambition, Avarice, and Luſt, 

And factious Rage, and Breach of Truſt, 
And Flatt'ry tipt with nauſeous Fleer, 
And guilty Shame, and ſervile Fear, 
Envy, and Cruelty, and Pride, 


Will in your tainted Heart preſide. 


Heroes and Heroins of old, 
By Honour only were enrollꝰd 
Among their Brethren of the Skies, 
To which (though late) ſhall Hella riſe. 
Ten thouſand Oaths upon Record, 
Are not ſo ſacred as her Word: 
The World ſhall in its Atoms end, 


Fer Stella can deceiye a Friend. 


304 To STELLA. 


3 
— —_ 
— 


By Honour ſeated in her Breaſt, 
She ill determines what is beſt : 
What Indignation in her Mind 
Againſt Enſlavers of Mankind! 
Baſe Kings and Miniſters of State, 
Eternal Objects of her Hate. 


She thinks that Nature ne er deſign d 
Courage to Man alone confin'd: 
Can Cowardice her Sex adorn, 
Which moſt expoſes ours to Scorn ? 
She wonders where the Charm appears 
In Florimel's affected Fears: 
For Stella never learn'd the Art, 
At proper Times to ſcream and ſtart; 
Nor calls up all the Houſe at Night, 
And ſwears ſhe ſaw a Thing in White. 
Doll never flies to cut her Lace, 


Or throw cold Water in her Face, 


Becauſe 


& | E 
* — 
OO SG > v2 - — — * 


To Sr EL LA. 305 


Becauſe ſhe heard a ſudden Drum, 
Or found an Earwig in a Plum. 


Her Hearers are amaz'd from whence 
Proceeds that Fund of Wit and Senſe ; 


Which though her Modeſty would ſhroud, 
Breaks like the Sun behind a Cloud, 


While Gracefulneſs its Art conceals, 
And yet through cy'ry Motion ſteals. 


Say, Stella, was Prometheus blind, 
And forming you, miſtook your Kind? 


No: Twas for you alone he ſtole 


The Fire that forms a manly Soul ; 


Then to compleat it ev'ry way, 
He molded it with Female Clay: 


To 


« 2 - 
_ — | i _ 7 


—— 
— 


306 To STELLA. 


— 


To that you owe the nobler Flame. 
To this, the Beauty of your Frame. 


How would Ingratitude delight ? 
And, how would Cenſure glut her Spight ? 
If I ſhould Hella's Kindneſs hide 
In Silence, or forget with Pride. 
When on my ſickly Couch I lay, 
Impatient both of Night and Day, 
Lamenting in unmanly Strains, 
Call'd ev'ry Pow'r to eaſe my Pains, 
Then Frella ran to my Relief 


With chearful Face, and inward Grief; 
And, though by Heaven's ſevere Decree 
She ſuffers hourly more than me, 


No cruel Maſter could require 


From Slaves employ*d for daily Hire 


. — — — 


What 


_— | Had 


To STELLA. 


Me 


What Srella by her Friendſhip warm'd, 
With Vigour and Delight perform'd. 
My finking Spirits cow ſupplies. 
With Cordials in her Hands, and Eyes. 


n . — 
5 COGY ·ů —— — — — - 


—¾ß—. ⁵˙ . üũ w 
—_— — —— — — 


Now, with a ſoft and ſilent Tread, 

-Unheard ſhe moves about my Bed: Se 
I ſee her taſte each nauſeous Draught, 2 
And ſo obligingly am caught: 

I bleſs the Hand from whence they came, 


— — > — 


Nor dare diſtort my Face for ſhame. 


Beſt Pattern of true Friends, beware ; 


You pay too dearly for your Care; 


If, while your Tenderneſs ſecures 
My Life, it muſt endanger yours. 
For ſuch a Fool was never found, 
Who pull'd a Palace to the Ground, 
Only to have the Ruins made | | 


Materials for an Houſe decay'd, ST & 4 


— — * 


STELLA's Birth-Day. 


— 


— 


March 13. 1729. 


nn. 


— A 3 


Shall ſtill be kept with Joy by me: 
This Day then, let us not be told, 
That you are ſick, and I grown old, 
Nor think on our approaching Llls, 
And talk of Spectacles and Pills; 

To morrow will be Time enough 

To hear ſuch mortifying Stuff. 

Yet, fince from Reaſon may be brought 
A better and more pleaſing Thought, 
Which can in ſpite of all Decays, 
Support a few remaining Days : 


IL”; | 


HIS Day, whate'er the Fates decree, 


From, 


FO —..— N _ 


|  STELLA's Birth-Day. 309 


— —  — — 


From not the graveſt of Divines, 
Accept for once ſome ſerious Lines. 


Although we now can form no more 
| Long Schemes of Life, as heretofore; 


Yet you, while T ime is running faſt, 


Can look with Joy on what is paſt. 


Were future Happineſs and Pain, 
A mere Contri vance of the Brain, 
As Atheiſts argue, to entice, 


And fit their Proſelytes for Vice; 
(The only Comfort they propoſe, 


To have Companions in their Woes.) 
Grant this the Caſe, yet ſure *tis hard, 


That Virtue, ſtil'd its own Reward, 
And by all Sages underſtood 
To be the chief of human Good, 
Should 


— 


310 STELLA's Birth-Day. 


PPP 


— 


1 


Should acting, die, nor leave behind 
Some laſting Pleaſure in the Mind, 
Which by Remembrance will aſſuage, 
Grief, Sickneſs, Poverty, and Age; 
And ſtrongly ſnoot a radiant Dart, 
To ſhine through Life's declining Part. 


2 Ca: a a SR _S 


Say, Stella, feel you no Content, 
Reflecting on a Life well ſpent? | 
Your skilful Hand employ'd to fave 510 
Deſpairing Wretches from the Grave ; | 
And then ſupporting with your Store, 
Thoſe whom you dragg'd from Death before: 
(So Providence on Mortals waits, 
Preſerving what it firſt creates) 
Your gen'rous Boldneſs to defend 


An innocent and abſent Friend ; 


That 


STELLA's Birth-Day. 211 


* 


— — 


That Courage which can make you juſt, 
To Merit humbled in the Duſt: 
The Deteftation you expreſs 


For Vice in all its glitt'ring Dreſs : 
That Patience under tort*ring Pain, 
Where ſtubborn Stoicks would complain. 


| Muſt theſe like empty Shadows paſs, 
Or Forms reflected from a Glaſs ? 
Or mere Chimæra's in the Mird, 


That fly and leave no Marks behind? 
Does not the Body thrive and grow 

| By Food of twenty Years ago ? 

And, had it not been ftill ſupply'd, 

It muſt a thouſand Times have dy d. 

Then, who with Reaſon can maintain, 

That no Effects of Food remain ? 


Y | And 


STELLAS Birth Day. 


And, is not Virtue in Mankind 

The Nutriment that feeds the Mind? 
Upheld by each good Action paſt, 
And ftill continued by the laſt: 
Then, who with Reaſon can pretend, 
That all Effects of Virtue end? 


Believe me Hella, when you ſhow 
That true Contempt for Things below, 
Nor prize your Life for other Ends 
Than merely to oblige your Friends; 
Vour former Actions claim their Part, 
And join to fortify your Heart. 
For Virtue in her daily Race, 
Like Janus, bears a double Face; 


Looks back with Joy where ſhe has gone, 


And therefore goes with Courage on. 


She 


A 


— 


STELLAS Birth-Day. | 313 


1 8 


She at your ſickly Couch will wait, 


And guide you to a better State. 


| O then, whatever Heav'n intends, | 
Take Pity on your pitying Friends; 

Nor let your Ills affect your Mind, 

To fancy they can be unkind. . 

Me, ſurely me, you ought to ſpare, = 

| Who gladly would your Suff rings ſhare; 
Or give my Scrap of Life to you, 

And think i far beneath your Due; 


You, to whoſe Care ſo oft. I owe, 


That I'm alive to tell you fo. 


1 


CO N- 


NXNXKXNAANNNNKN&N&NN&N&NN&NRNNNNNKNNNN 


There is now near finiſh'd, and ſpeedily will be 
Publiſh'd, EO 


HE Mathematical Principles of Natural Phi- 

loſophy. By Sir Is aac NERWTON Knt. tran- 
ſlated into Engliſh. By Andrew Motte. With an 
Appendix: Containing, - 


New Elements for the Theory of the Moon. By 
Jonx MAcnix, Profeſſor of Aſtronomy at Greſham- 
College, and Secretary to the Rayal- Society. 


NN MMM AAA AA ERA AAA CAL EELEE: 


CONTENTS 


OFTHE 


Laſt VOLUME. 


=] Ec: B40, Of the Art of Sinking in Poetry, 
. Dr. Cadenus and Vaneſſa. Written Anno 


2 1713. 
-Baucts and Philemon. In Imitation of Ovid, 1. 
Deſeription of a City Shower. In Imitation of Virg. 

Georg * 

Deſcription of the Morning, 

Horace, Ep. 7. Lib. 1. addreſ#d to ah Earl of 

Oxford, g 


Horace, Sat. 6. Lib. 2. imitated, 
The happy Life of a Country Par on, Imitated Aw 


Martial, 42 
Tale of Chaucer, lately found in an old Manu- 
ſeript, 2 


The Alley. In Imitation of Spenſer, 
The Capons Tale. To a Lady who father'd her 12 


Poons on her Acqua iutance, - 0 © 
Verſes in a Lady's Ivory Table- Book, 


| 54 
To their Excellencies the Lords Fu tices of Irel and, 
the humble Petition of Frances Harris, 


Lady B---- B. &c. A Ballad, 65 


V 


— — 


The CONTENTS 


V--- -'s Houſe, built on the Ruins 'of Whitehall zhat 
Dat burnt, Page 68 


be Hiſtory of v. - -'s Houſe, | 77 

Virtues of Sid Hamet the Megiciaw s Rod, 8 I 

Atlas: Or, The Miniſter of State. To the Lord Trea- 
farer "Ocford, 

Deſcription of a Salamander, 

The Elephant : Or, The Parliament Man, 94 

Elegy on the ſuppord Death of Partridge the Al- 


manack-maker, 97 
The Epitaph, © 104 
Verſes to be prefix'd before B. Linger s Miſcellany, 

105 
To Mr. John Moore, Author of the celebrated ñ orm- 
Powder, 103 


. er ſes occaſoon'd by an Kc. at the End of Mr. Dur- 
. fey's Name in the Title to one of his Plays, 111 
* Sol to Mr. Durfey's laſt Play, 117 
Prologue to the Three Hours after Marriage, 119 
Sandys's Ghoſt: Or, A proper newBallad on the new 
Ovid's Metamorphoſis, as it was intended to be 


tranſlated by Per ſons of Quality, 122 
Umbra, 128 
Fragment of a Satire, 129 
Macer, 134 
Sylvia: A Fragment, | 136 
— 138 
Phryn 140 
On Mrs. Biddy Nene 142 


8 out witted. To the Hon. Mrs. Finch, 143 
Stella's 


by bÞ 


&.. i &. MA coI*7> Gmc £m oa 


MN Oo OAmnWUmjpk wth" © KK<y6 KK , 


*bylbs : Or the Progreſs of Love, 236 


The CONTENTS. 


** 


— 


Stella Birth Day, 1718. 
Stella , Birth- Day, 1720, 
Stella ? Birth Day, 1722. 

Stella r Birth Day, 1724, 
To Mr. M - B ſent on ber Birth-Day, 26 


166 

7. | _ 168 

Oue for Muſick, on the Langionds | 72 
. on the Fendi bel uu Handel ang Bonon- 
| | 274 


On Mrs. 3 | 
Tum or Three : Or, A Recei 6 — 


Ou A Lady who = f at 4 urs Breyer Boo 176 
Epigram in 4 Mad of Honour”s n 177 
. ee 
T ens of Exavope, | 144. 
A Paneg yrical Epiſtie to Mr. Thomas Snow, ms on 
the South-Sea Jah rip un- 179 
The South-Sea, 1721. 185 
Ballad on Quadiille, 197 
Molly Mog, 202 
A new Song F new Similies, 207 
Newgate's Garland. A Ballad, &c. 213 
Prometheus. On Wood the Patentee, 219 
Strephon and Flavia, 224 
Corinna, Y 226 
The Quidnuncki- "I Tal ale on the Death of the Duke 
Regent of France, 229 
Ay and No. A Fable, | 233 


The 


. Ed 
4 5 10 


= .. 
-» © = 


PCC AE _ | — — — — — 


— 2 NTENTS. 


— 


The Progreſs of Poetry, * P 3 
The Y regreſs of Beauty, 15 247 
Pethox "the Great : 254 
The Lamentation of Glumdalclirch for the Loſs of 
Grildrig. 2 Paſtoral. 261 
Gulliver to Lemuel Gulliver, 267 
To-Quinbus Fleſtrin, che Man- Mountain. A Lilli- 
put ian Ode. 9274 
A Gentle Echo on M oman; 279 
Epilogue to a Play, for for the Benefit * the Weavers 
eland. 283 
itaph on a Miſer. | 286 
o Stella, who cullected and tran feribed his Poems, 
278 
On Dreams. In Imitation of Petronius, Ka 
To Stella ; Viſiting me in my Sic tnc ſi. 300 


Cw Birth-Day, 1726-7. 309