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CAZETTE
PORTSMOUTH, NOVEMBER 4, 1871.
B e e el
Voring IN CALIFORNIA. Our ex
tremely virtuous cotemporary beyond
the custom house recently published an
account of the manner in which Repub-i
licans at work at Mare Island Navy
Yard were furnished with a peculiar
style of tickets to deposit in the ballot
boxes at the recent election, but ne
glected to mention the Jittle game prac
tised by the Democratic leaders at the
State capital. Mr. Charles E. Shilla
ber, a Portsmouth boy, writes us as ful-!
lows from Cordelia, California:
Some person has sent me a Stars
Bars of the 29th ult., which I have no
literary use for. It contains an article
on the mannerof voting by employees
of the Mare Island Navy Yard, I have
failed to see or hear of a Demoecratic
paper which takes to task the sweet set
at the State Capital. The Democratic
bosses there had the tickets. numbered
from one upwards, the ticket given to
each was known and of course would
be known when counted out. As for
instance, Mike O'Flaggerty was given
asweet secented Democratic ticket, No.
204. When the votes were counted if
No. 204 didn’t come out or came out
scratched Mr. Michael lost his sealp,
instanter. Thisis true to the very let
ter, and proof could be adduaced, if ne
cessary. If you have the space in your
columns and feel disposed, you may
publish this, not as an excuse for this
action at Mare Island but to show that
some of the democracy lack more than
wings to be angels.
Our Democratie friends in California
doubtless borrowed the trick from their
allies in New Hampshire, for every
Democrat and Assistant Demoerat
(dubbed Labor Reformers) in the New
Hampshire House of Representatives
was numbered, last June, in the same
manner, for fear he might sell out. The
Dewocratic leaders thought their fol
lowers Loo susceptible to outside influ
ence, we judge, and showed their want
of faith by their works.
Politicnl.
At a Republican meeting in New
York on the 25th, Wm. M. Evarts, who
was counsel for Andy Johnson in the im
peachment case, declared that the peo
ple would put down the Ring corrup
tionists by ¢‘bloody means” if they could
not do so by peaceable measures, and
when he treatened that if there was at
the ensuing election a iniscount of votes
there would follow a fair count of bayo
pets, there was tremendous cheering,
The Detroit Post'says the proposition
of the Missouri Republican that the Dem
ocrats shall not nominate 2 candidate
for President next year is only ‘*a choice
of deaths.”
In Texas, Clarke, republican, re
ceived the certificate of election to Con
gress from the third district, the vote
of Limestone and Freestone counties
having been thrown out by the court
at Austin. Cennor is said to be the
only democrat who will receive a cer
tificate of election. Degener, republi
can, refuses to accept a certificate in the
fourth district on the ground that Han
cock, democrat, received a majority of
the votes.
Official retarns from Ohbio show
Noyes's majority for governor to be
20,186. The total vote of the State was
450,462.
A western newspaper says that ¢lf
the Democratic party in Indiana can
stand the *New Departure,’ the *‘Buck
eye’ revelations, the Sentinel-Bright-
State-Printing exposure, the Tammany
New York frauds, the defeat of the
Railroad Repeal act, and the record in
gencral of the. Democratic majority in
the last Legislature, it must be a very
robust polical organization, and with a
very strong stomach.”
A proposition is made to close all the
stores in New York, election day, and
generally suspend business.
Garret Davis has made a ten-column
speech in favor of Millard Fillmore for
President.
The Cincinnati Commercial says:
«The elections this Fall are favorable to
the Democrats, That is to say, the
Democrats are being beaten so thor
oughly this year, that it seems fairly
possible they may next year have a
measure of political wisdom larger than
they have latterly been accustomed tO.”
The Democratic return judge of
Franklin County, Penn., has backed
down from the position originally taken
by him, and has given the certificate of
election to J. M. Weakley, the Republi
can candidate for Senator, declaring
him to have a majority of 803. The re
turn judge of Westmoreland will no
doubt follow suit before the Supreme
Cou-t compe~ him to.
Democrats i ave sufficiently re
m fro u <t s ment at their late
overwhelming defeat in California, are
Sibicr in 2 1o s econnt for it phefrsilae
non. The latest essay is from a corres
pondent of the World, whose first
charge is that the result was
chiefly owing to ‘‘the enormous use
of money by the Radicals;” and
it is further alleged that $200,000 was
used, and that “purchasable material”
was uncommonly plenty in California at
the late election. In other words,
Democrats were very cheap this year;
$200,000 was sufficient to purchase sev
en or eight thousand of them. That
correspondent preves too much.
On Tuesday, Nov. 7th, elections are
to be held in nine States. Illinois
elects two members of Congress and
local officers; Maryland a Governor,
State officers and Legislature; Massa
chusetts the same; Minnesota the
same Mississippi elects a Legislature
only; New Jersey a Governor and
Legislatare; New York elects State
officers and Legislature, and Virginia a
Legislatore.
The following is from a Washingtou
special to the Tribune: Estimates
made of the probable results of the
coming November elections figure con
siderably in large Republican gains.
o Wisconsin Mr. Washburn will have
an increased majority of over 5000. It
is believed that he will carry even the
city of Milwaukee., Minnesota reports
estimate an additional thousand to the
usual Republican majority. In Illinois
Gen. Broeridge’s majority will be near
’ly as large as that of Gen. Logan. In
Mississippi 20,000 majority on the total
for Legislatare is the lowest estimate
yet made. New Jersey Republicans
assert that they will carry the State by
5000." The last report made to the Re
publican Executive Committee of New
York is more encouraging than the pre
ceding one.
Tus Moraoxns —lt is stated in official
{eircles that Brigham Young left Sait
1 Lake City on Tuesday evening for the
_1501](1‘1. It is doubtful whether "he will
:lflppe;u' for trial. Delegate Hooper has
_igone to Washington to see the Presi
dent and endeavor to effect some basis
for a comprowmise, by which the United
i States authorities, judicial and execu
tive,will be restrained or removed. The
{church is in the greatest ferment.
]J Something mysterious is in the wind and
ominoussilence reigns in Mormon quar
|ters. Mayor Wells is practically at the
t bead of the community.
Elder Cannon has arrived from San
%qucisco and preached in the Taberna~
icle to an audience numbering at least
[IO,OOO. He counselled his hearers to
%abstaiu from any act of violence and to
isubmit to the law. Elder Pratt was
not so conservative, and did not want
!any whining judge to say to him as tol
fHawkins, “I am sorry for you.” He
1 wanted no sympathy from any federal
|official. He was ready to go to jail
twenty years, but did not want any pity
Ifrom such a source. e predicted that
God would totally overthrow and anni
’ihilate the present persecutors of the
Mormon people.
Hawkins, convicted of polygamy,
was sentenced to three years’ imprison
i ment and to pay a fine of SSOO.
Daniel H. Wells, Mayor of Salt Lake
City, Hosea Stout, formerly Attorney
General of the Territory, and William
|Belden of Kimball’s Hotel at Parley
J‘Canon, were arrested on Saturday by
United States Marshal Patrick upon an
lindictment of the grand jury charging
lthem with muorder. The prisoners
were taken to Camp Douglas. The al
leged crime cousists in the killing of
Richard Yates and a man named
}Bucky, several years ago. Warrants
{are out for the arrests of Brigham
Young and his son Joseph A. Young,
a!on a charge of murder, in having or
;dered the killing of Richard Yates.
The indictments on all these murder
cases are understood to be founded up
[on the testimony of Bill Hickman, whoe
was once what is termed by the Gen
’Liles, a Danite, or secret agent of the
Mormon authorities. Yates visited the
Mormon camp during the rebellion os
t tensibly to sell powder. The Mormons
iregarded him as a spy, and some weeks
‘afterwards arrested him and placed
htm in the custody of Hickman to be
teken to Salt Lake City. Daniel Wells
then commanded the Mormon troops,
and Hosea Stout was the judge advo
cate. Onthe way to Salt Lake City
Hickman killed Yates. He says: ‘“My
orders were from Brigham Young and
{Joseph A. Young, and at the instiga
tion of Daniel Wells and Stout.” Hick-‘
man is also confined at Camp Douglas.
He went with the officers to Echo
Canon, and, after pointing out where
he had buried Yates, assisted them in
disinterring his remains.
ARIZONA is said to be the destination
|of Brigham Young. Mayor Wells of
Salt Lake City, one of the parties
arfested on a charge of murder, was
admitted to bail in order'that the peace
and quiet of the city might be presen'edj
‘1 under his admipistration.
Souti CAROLlNA.—Attorney-Gener
al Akerman has arrived in 'Washington
City from Yorkville, S. C., in which
neighborhood he had been for the past
three weeks. He reports that the ac
counts of the stampede of the citizens
trom the counties in which the habeas
corpus is suspended have been greatly
exaggerated, and that instead of five
hundred persons having left York coun-
ty since the President’s proclamation of
the 17th, probably less than one-haif
that number have gone. Many of the
absentees took their departure before.
either proclamation was issued or any
arrests by the aid of the military power
were attempted, fleeing from a mere
sense of their own guilt and lack of
courage to meet the consequences of
their actions. The effect of the Presi
dent’s proclamation, followed as they
have been by the prompt and vigorous
movements of both military and civil
officers, has been to completely put an
end to the Ku-Klux reign of terror in
the disturbed districts, and restore safe
ty to life and property. In York and
Spartanburg counties about one hun
dred arrests had been made up to Fri
‘day night, the prisoners being in (he
icustody of the civil authorities. One
‘entire klan surrendered voluntarily,
‘alleging that they had been compelled
fto take up the organization for self
protection. Most of those who are
now in castody are poor whites who
abuse their leaders soundly for baving
led them into trouble and then desert
ing them in face of arrest and punish
ment, The evidence which will be
produced on the trials, soon to begin at
Columbia, will be interesting and also
conclusive of the guilt of many of the
indicted parties. Mr. Akerman, dur
ing his stay in South Carolina, received
assurances from many prominent cit
i izens oppesed to the administration, of
‘their great satisfaction at the work
‘which it is prosecuting in that State.
Correspondence,
g PorTraND, Oct. 30.
Thesession of the Grand Lodge of
Good Templars of Maine held here last
Thursday and Friday was one of the
l most important ever transpiring. The
result was a decision in favor of more
active measures. The Committee ap
pointed to secure additional legislation
at the Maine Legislature next January
are Hpn. Nelson Dingley, Ji., the able
editor of the Lewiston Journal,sHoa.
Joshua Nye, the leader of Temperance
in the State, and Rev. O. M. Cousens,
the head of the Cold Water Templars,
the children’s organization. The idea
isto have a law passed making the
sheriffs a constabulary force, which
shall be under the personal control of
the Governor. The local authorities in
the cities and towns being ineflicient
from local considerations, it is thought
‘the proposed plan will be acceptable,
as it does not create new officers, only
enlarging the duties of existing ones—
the sheriffs. The remarks of Gov. Per
ham at the temperance meeting, Friday
evening, were excellent and judicious.
His position is that the present laws re
garding liquor seclling are suflicient,
covering all the established principles
of prohibition, and also that they are}
executed up to the standard of public
opinion. The only way to have a more
rigid execution is to bring public senti
ment up to a higher standard. He ad
vocates a temperance revival, one that
will produce substantial results and en
sure the still more effectual execution
of the laws, The R. G. W. T. Rev.
John Russell of Michigan, the Head
Centre of the Good Templars in North
America, also spoke, taking extreme
radical ground, advocating not only
moral suasion, temperance revivals,
organizations, use of pulpit, press and
schools, as the others also do, but pro
claimed the necessity for a new inde
pendent national temperance party in
all the states, of course including New
Hampshire, no matter if the Republicau
and Democratic parties were broken
up. He severely criticised ‘“the mod
erate policy” and while he said many
good things, yet he injured his influ
ence by bis impracticability. He is a
bold, earnest, rapid, argumentative,
plausible speaker, with full voice and
gesture,and in these respects is just the
man fora leader, although if he was
less beadstrong and more sagacious in
‘his methods he would accomplish great
‘er results. It is better to persuade than
}to drive people,.and it is "better to use
consideration_ and shape existing cir
cumstances by wise and progressive
moderation than to rush headlong blind
ly in the dark,demanding radicalism or
nothing, usually wrecking the cause
upon unforeseen breakers. It was un
derstood that R. G. W. T. Rev. John
Russell, previous to the meeting, de
clared his intention to ‘‘go for” Gov.
Perbam and friends because he had not
followed the dictation of ‘‘the extreme
radicals” and because he had preferred
to be moderate and accomplish good
results as he bas, rather than to attempt
impossible things and wreck the cause.
“The best possible is the possible best
for the present.” Retrogression must
follow impracticable radicalism, for in
‘this extensive congregation of millions,
there are many men of many minds
and even in the temperance ranks there
are ‘“‘moderate” as well as ‘‘rapid”
movers, ‘‘sagacious” as well a§ “*bold”
leaders. Therace is not always to the
*swift nor the battle to the strong.”
Results best follow ‘“‘the slow and sure
pelicy.”
Portland has done handsomely for
the Chicago, Michigan and Wisconsin
sufferers, giving $20,000 to Chicago
and S6OOO to the other States, besides
clothing, dry goods, provisions, and
other needed articles. The Reception
Hall of the city building is the head
quarters of the Ladies’ Aid Association.
It is a lovely place and the noble ladies
have devoted themselves like heroines
to the good work.
Portland is one of the best favored
places in fall and winter for first class
evening eutertainments. No city of its
size takes such an interest in musical
and literary matters. The City Hall
is such a magnificent auditorium that it
is perfectly delightful to pass one's eve
nings there now and then. This sea
son we are to have a large number of
amusements. The Mercantile Library
Association with comwmendable enter
prise opened on Wednesday evening
last with Gough. Next Wednesday,
Nov. Ist, the distinguished French au
thor and teacher, Rev. M. Athanese
Coquerel of Paris gives the second lec
tare ‘““The Two Seiges of Paris"—a
great treat to be followed by Beecher,
Schurz, Chapin, James T. Fields, ,Rev.
C. G. Ames, David A. Wells, and Cur
tis, and then comes a supplementary
course by ladies, a novel experiment—
Mrs. Emily Shaw Foreman, Miss Kate
Stanton, Mrs. Celia Burleigh, Miss Kate
Reignolds, Mrs. Vietoria C. Woodhull,
If that don’t draw then nothing will.
Altogether it will be the finest series of
‘‘Jectures” ever given here. SANCHO.
Ture WAR against Tammany pro
;greSSes. On Friday, Tweed was arrest
ed on a charge of defrauding the city
;‘:nvcrmnent, and admitted to bail in the
sum of $2,000,000. The result of the
investigations of the citizens' commit
tee was made known Friday, and
frauds to the enormous amount of near
ly $20,000,000 are shown.
National Thanksgiving Procilamation.
The process of the season has again
enabled the husbandmen’to garner the
fruits of successful toil. Industry hss
been generally well rewarded. We
are at peace with all nations and tran
quility, with few exceptious, prevails at
home. Witbin the past year we have
been in the main free from ills which
elsewhere bave affected our kind. Ii
some of us have had calamities there
should be an occasion of sympathy with
the sufferers, of resignation on their
part to the will of the Most High, and
of rejoicing to the many who have been
wore favored. I therefore recommend
that, on Thursday, the 30th day of No
vember next, the people meet in their
respectiye places of worship, and there
make the usual acknowledgments to
Almighty God for the blessings he has
cenferred upon them for the mercitul
exemption from evils and invoke his
protection and kindness for their less
fortunate brethren, whom, in His wis
dom, he has deemed it best to chastise.
In_faith, whereof, I have hereunto set
my hand and caused the seal of the
United States to be aflixed.
Washington, Oct. 28th, 1871, and of
the Independence of the United States
the 96th. U. S. GRANT.
By the President,
HayirToN FisH, Secretary of State.
Not BAD FOR THE ‘‘HEATHEN Cm-{
NEE."—The contributions given by the
Chinese merchants of San Francisco, in
aid of the Chicago sufferers, amount to
$1,290. In one case an intelligent mer
chant said to the collectors: ““Me leadee
in Alta Melican man town all same hap
gone—burnee up. Melican man wan
tee dollas sometime poor Melican man
strikee Chinaman with bilks; Chinaman
no care. Allee people Chicago losee
everything—wifee and children buorn
out, Chinaman say allee same my
countree people—wantee help. How
muchee dollas you wantee? Hundled
dollas? Allee light; you not find
enough money, comee me again, give
another hundled.” These Chinese are
but an inferior race of heathen, have no
rights which white men are bound to
frespect, and of course are not expected
to set such a worthy example as the
Christian white men of California—
‘who have just been mobbbing and mur
dering the heathen without let or hin
drance.
Naval.
l Jonathan M. Foltz is appointed chief
of the bureaun of medicine and surgery
iin the navy department, in place of Dr.
Wood, resigned.
I GOVERNOR BULLOCK of Georgia has
lresigned.
t THANKSGIVING in Massachusetts,
'Nov. 30th. i
The Origiu of the Clam Bake.
A correspondent of the Albany Ar
gus, writing from Watch Hiil, gives the
following result of his historical re
searches into the origin of the clam
bake. It is needless to point out the
Duteh prejudices that deform this pa
per, 'which certainly shows ingenuity
and industry, and also some apprecia
tion of the civilizing influences under
which the writer has been brought by
bis sojourn in our borders, but which
is lamentably defective in some of its
facts and interences:
“The people of New England have
sedulously kept out of sight the origin
ot the clam bake. They even affect to
trace it to the Indians! They are ex
peris in the fabrication of history, and
the most remarkable illostrations of
their inventiveness is to be found in the‘
traditions they have manufactured, or
have ingeniously mutilated. But this;
Indian theory is too thin! In the old]
days of the Puritans there was one
thing more indigestible than their the-|
ology—and that was the cookery of
New England. Predestination and
free will are hard nuts to crack; the
problems of grace and election find no
solvents in the juices of the brain; and
men are still *“wrestling with the hash”
of theology. (I use the last poetic
phrase) as eagerly and as satisfactorily
as when two hundred years ago it was|
first cut up. More indigestible than|
all this logomachy were the compouunds
prepared for the human stomach. lt‘i
is true that saleratus, which now de
populates these States, was not yet in
vented for the kitchen. Butthe fish
ball, more fatal lhml‘ the Minnie, Vvaszmi
cearly device; and doughnats and bis
‘cuits were poured in volleys as from a
mitrailleuse.
1 Voltaire speaks of England as pos
sessing seventeen religious and only
one sauce. New England multiplied
the creeds and spoiled the one sauce.
With singular ingenuity bher cooks
found out twenty ways of boiling flour
without hitting on the way to make
bread! Biscuits, doughnuts, waflles,
pan-cakes, turn-overs, top-covers, john
ny-cakes, &e., to this day present their
insoluble mysteries to the impoverished
gastric juices of the people. New Eng
land was not alone in these horrors.
Do we not know that the peculiar ex
‘pressinn of the mouth of G. Washing
ton (Pater Patrie) came frow the loss
of his teeth! His masticators, carious
and precavious, dental and accidental,
were undermined by the airocious
cookery of Virginia, before he exposed
them to certain ruin during his briet
sojourn in Massachusetts. Sparks, who
eviscerated from Washington’s corres
pondence all uokind allusions to New
Englaud, has extracted the passages
on this subject with a forceps. But
why this coincidence in cookery be
tween such opposites as the Old Domin-
Jion and the Bay State? It is kuown that
tho Mayflower, after landing the Pil
grims at Plmouth Rock, engaged in the
slave-trade. May not the secret of in
digestion, whispered by one of the
saints, have found its way to the Guinea
coast and thence to a Virginia kitchen.
But without solving that question, it
is enongh to know that the effects of the
diet inflicted on the early colonists in
this quarter were manifest at once. The
weekly sermons were hot and heavy and
so was the daily meal—and as sour and
indigestible. The women first suffered
fromit. Their tempersbecame acid and
their tongues ran wild. The tribe of
lecturers, who now wander from vil
lage to village, egotistic and ill-tem
pered, are the insipid descendants of
those viragos who scolded and cooked
for the early settlers. The husbands
fled to the only refube left open to man
—the sea. Those who had boats stayed
‘away for indefinite periods—fishing.
It is the resource of the hen-pecked, Lo
this day.
I Others,believing any bark better than
the domestic bite, desperately set out
on rafts and perished. It was in some
storm on the coast that a fisherman, cast
on shore, discovered the true method
of cooking claws,—the fire on the beach,
the heated stones, the clamsand the
superposed ears of corn, with the sea
weed covering that made up the contri
vance of an oven. Ile tasted and ate;
and for the first time realized that the
human mouth was made for a higher
purpose than feminine scolding or the
mastication of absolute dishes. Return
ing, the shipwrecked mariver told with
gusto the stery of his discovery. On all
sides men rushed to sea, tempted the
reef and breakers andl(futal coast. At
home when they called for bread they
were offered a stone! Could the rocks
be worse, with a prospect of clams .be
yond? Wreck followed wreck; but
the cast-away crews always came home
fat and sleek, and with countenances
glowing with secret satsfaction. It]
was noticed, too, that they put to sea'
again at once. i
It was the story over again, which the
gentle Elia has told of the discovery and
developement of roast pig—with this
variation, that the Yankee did what
John Chinaman never thought of—he at
last insared his craft, before runming it
ashore. To this day his descendants,
with lilial reverenee, preserve the cus
tom. The light-house keepers tell me
some singular stories on this subject
and I bave come to the conclusion that|
there is no place in the country so fatal
to all who navigate as this rock-boundl
coast—except the Erie Canal. Viewed
kfr(nu the Canal Appraiser’s office, the
waters of the Erie and Champlain are
disastrous indeed; and the wealth ot
the State is bhardly sufficient to repair
damages which the raging canal in
flicts on the hardy men who navigate
its waters—claimants who spoually
deposit the story of their hardships and
safferings among its archives.”
-—A contamporary says of Alexander
H. Stephens that he never stops writing{
an editorial article until the office ‘rups
out of type.
—Louisville has a society for the
prevention of cruelty of wives.
—The ague is so bad in some parts of
Connecticut that the victims are shaken
out of bed.
—ln Savannah, the other day, a roos
ter enjoyed aride through the streets on
the back of a runaway horse which had
been frightened by the perching of the
fowl upon him,
—A pig, with one eye in the centre of
its forehead and a trunk similar in
shape to an elephant’s, growing out
directly over its eyes, is the boast of a
California town.
—The driver of the hearse heard Mr.
James Hickey of Birmingham, Pennsyl
vania, kick his coffin lid just as his fu
neral procession entered the cemetery,
and in accordance with his wishes the
last sad rite was changed to a right
about.
—The Mississippi River has never
been so low as it is now within the
memory of living men. Herds of cattle
bask in the sunshine on the dry bed of
the great river, ten or fifteen feet below
the level where the waters, a few
months ago, bore great fleets of steam
boats,
—A good instance of ‘‘sharp prac
tice” is that of a man in Ohio, who was
acquitted of murder on a plea of insani
ty. He had secured his lawyers by giv
ing them a mortgage on his farm, but
now repudiates the morgage on the
gound that he was insane when he made
it, according to the showing of these
same lawyers.
—A contemporary says that *‘The
noble action ot General Sheridan in the
midst of the horrors of the Chicago
calamity, is worthy of that distinguished
soldier, and of the great Government
for which he so promptly assumes to
speak and act. There isvo red tape
about the act which commands one
hundred thonsaud rations from St.
Louis for suffering, starving Chicago!
All honor to General Sheridan
Weston made one of the most bril
liant of his highly successtul series of
failures, in Cincinnati. Then he burst
into tears and explained to the people
how if he had trained a little closer and
had saved his strength on the first mile
or two,and hadn’t got sleepy, and badn’t
sprained hisankle, and had run like a
scared mule on the last half, and hadn’t
dislocated his hip, he would have prob
ably succecded.
—A certain beadle had fancied the
manse housemaid; but at a loss for an
opportanity to declare himself, one day
l —a Sunday—when his duties were end
led, he looked sheepish, and said:
“Mary, wad ye tak a turp, Mary?»
He led her to the churchyard,
and pointing with his finger, got out:
“My fowk lie there, Mary; wad you
like to lie there?” The grave hint was
taken, and she became his wife, but
does not yet lie there.
—Noboady can say now that the Chica
¢o Journal is not enterprising. Some
charitable firm in Ohio having seant
Mayor Mason a ten horse-power engine
to be used for the benefit of the Chica
go press, the Journal man heard of it,
rushed to the depot, seized the engine
and set it up in his own press room,
and is therefore able to continue publi
cation. As the Journal has not had the
grace to say ‘“‘thank you,” in behalf of
the fraternity we bereby do so for it.
Now hasn’t somebody a press to give
away Chicago Mail.
—Any item of news from Chicago is
now of interest, so we quote the follow
ing: *‘lmet a friend on Tuesday, walk
ing thonghtfully around with a piece of
lead pipe. As I approached and sa
luted him he stopped, slapped the lead
pipe down on a brick wall, it smashed
flat, and then said, *Joe, that pipe’s all
I've got in the world; but I begin again
to-morrow.” I met a man on the night
of the fire who had lest first his stere
and then his handsome residence on
Michigan avenue. He was lugging
around a marble mantel with the heavy
sides attached. He laughed as he saw
me, and remarked, ‘That's all there is
now but I'm going to see if I can't
find another and build a house to fit.””
—The Pueblo (Colorado) Chieftain
gives a funny account of a Chicago
newspaper man who stopped in the
flourishing young city of Greeley, and,
being athirst, tried in vain to get a
square drink. ‘He went up one street
and down another, he turned the cor
ners of alleys, he sprungover ditches,
he explored sheds and out-houses, but
the fluid for which his soul yearned could
vowhere be found.” He went baphuz
ard into one building which he thought
might be ‘‘asaloon,” and encountered a
prayer meeting. In another hall he
found a Farmer's Club. Finally, here
ceived trustworthy information that
‘“there was not a drop of liquor in the
place.” He lefl,and wroteto his journal
that the town of Greeley was ‘“*without
inhabitants, without resources and with
out commerce.” 5
—Mr. Gray discovered a non-explo
sive illaminating fluid. To show how
safe the new compound was, he invited
a namber of his triends to meet him in
his rooms, whither he bhad brought a
barrel of the fluid, which he at once
proceeded to stir with a red-hot
poker. As he went through the roof of
his house, aceompanied by bis friends,
he endeavored to explain to his nearest*
compagnon de voyage that the par
ticular fluid in the barrel had too much
benzine in it; but the gentleman
said he had an engagement higher up,
and could not wait for the explanation.
Mr. Jones, informed bhim that there
was no necessity for him to go up high
er, as everybody was coming down so
Mr. Gray started back to be with the
party. Mr. Gray's widow offers for sale
these o tor the manufacture of the
non-¢x, *+e fuid at a reduced rate, as
she wisu raise money enough to
buy a silver-handled eoffin, with a gilt
plate, for the late Mr. Gray. No eards.